Ten Beats of a Romance: Part Four by Susan May Warren

Welcome to another Manuscript Monday, readers. Susan May Warren's series wraps up today with the final beats of a romance. I've really enjoyed this series, how about you? If you write romance, don't miss her tip near the end of this article. Enjoy!

True Love and Sacrifices*
by Susan May Warren

I love a great romance with a lot of tension and conflict, something with spark and romantic tension. But, if we don’t believe these two are meant for each other, then the fear that they won’t find true love (which is what drives a book) won’t matter. If their happily ever after isn’t at stake, we won’t care if they achieve it.

We must believe that a hero and heroine are perfect for each other.

Beat 8: WHY. Why are these two perfect for each other? The core reason they belong together saves the day. Along the way, you’ll be showing each of them WHY they belong together. But at this key moment, after the breakup, they’ll realize why they belong together, and this is bigger than the WHY NOT of the breakup. You should be building this element as you go, but it rises to the apex at this moment.

Here are three elements that draw people together:

1. Their essential values. We like people who hold our values dear to their hearts. At the end of the day, they need to see the core values of each other and have that draw them to each other.
2. Their vacancies. We like people who “complete” us – who can do the things we can’t do. What can they do for each other that the other can’t do?
3. They make each other better people. We like people who can see the best in us and draw it out. What do they see in each other that they draw out, and how do they become better people when they are together?

The WHY’s are at the core of a person—think of why you love your significant other…they are often the glue that holds you together despite your misunderstandings.

As you write your romance, you’ll give your characters glimpses of those core WHY’s, until you see one that is simply inescapable. When you figure out the WHY, then you have the final major component.

Beat 9: The Big Gesture/Sacrifice: The Hero or Heroine are able to make the Big Gesture/Sacrifice to stay together.

I often talk about finding that thing that your hero can’t do at the beginning of a book…and then showing him overcoming (because of the heroine’s love, or some truth) and doing it at the end.

So—what is the Big Gesture/Sacrifice they make at the end, for love, that they can’t do at the beginning? It might be letting go of something, or doing something brave…

Ask: What can they do at the end of the book they can’t do at the beginning?

Beat 10: Happily Ever After—they find the love they’ve always longed for.

Romances end happily. Something that makes the reader GLAD they just spent two days reading your romance! (as opposed to weeping and throwing the book across the room).

The Notebook works because they are together at the end, even if she is losing her mind. She remembered!

The romance has to have changed them, forever, and made them into better people. Now, I like romances that actually have people ALIVE at the end, so I can have a sort of romantic scene. And I try and find something that epitomizes their romance.

The key is, they have to do something that makes us understand that the romance has impacted them, and they are better off for it.

Now, take the ten components, put them on note cards, and you can move them around to fit your story…what you want, when. Then, write your story summary. No, you don’t have all the layers yet, but you have an idea of where you are going, and all the essential parts.

As you are writing your synopsis, you also have the “checklist” to make sure you have all your elements.

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*Article series first appeared on Book Therapy Voices blog in October, 2010. Used by permission.

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To learn more about Susan, visit her website. Her latest release, Point of No Return, is a romantic suspense. Here's the blurb:

An American boy and a warlord's engaged daughter have disappeared—together—in an Eastern European border country. Only one man can find them in time to prevent an international meltdown—Chet Stryker. But Chet is taken aback when he realizes the boy is the nephew of Mae Lund, Chet's former flame. When Mae insists on rescuing her relative herself, Chet knows he has to protect her from the enemy on their trail. Yet can he protect himself from falling for Mae again?

Ten Beats of a Romance: Part Three by Susan May Warren

Happy Manuscript Monday, dear readers. So far this month, we’ve gone over the first five beats of a romance novel. Susie's back to discuss the next two: The Kiss and The Heartbreak. You have to have both! Read on!

The Kiss and the Heartbreak*
by Susan May Warren

Let's begin today with a discussion on the different types of kisses (it's not what you think *grin*). We'll get to the heartbreak in a moment.

Beat 6: The sexual tension (the Kiss!)

This is my favorite part. (Ok, I like the dialogue leading up to it too!) But, a great romance has at least two great kisses—sometimes three. (If you’re writing for ABA, you might have more than a kiss.)

Kiss One: An introductory I-didn’t-mean-to; did-we-just-do-that? kiss
Kiss Two: An I-really-want-to-kiss-you-now-and-I’m-going-to kiss
Kiss Three: An I-love-you-and-I-mean-it kiss

If you have to, the last two can be combined.

Of course, before the First Kiss you want to build desire, an awareness of each other, an agreement that they aren’t repulsed by each other and even a hope that maybe, oh, no, really, oh, I shouldn’t think that but YES, I want to kiss him!

That often happens before the Intro kiss. But you can have an intro kiss where it takes them off guard that they then ponder later, and decide they like it. A lot.

Between the Intro kiss and the I-really-want-to-kiss-you kiss, there is wooing and sparks and some whys (we’ll get to that), until they realize their heart is engaged. And this kiss means something.

Often, after that, we might have the Black Moment, but it could also happen before this kiss and the second kiss could be combined with the end.

The Introductory kiss should occur before or at the halfway point of the book.

The second kiss occurs in the last quarter of the book. Usually.

In one of my books, my hero and heroine are pretending to be engaged. Which causes them to be in romantic situations. They have a FAKE kiss halfway through the book…that leads to real attraction.

The Second kiss occurs at the end. (unless they absolutely demand another one…! ) (which they might).

As far as kissing rules—just write the kiss you are comfortable with. I have a would-my-mother-read-this? rule and that seems to work fine for me. *grin*

Beat 7: The Breakup: The biggest WHY NOT rises to push them apart. Every romance has a Breakup—or a Black Moment. That reason why they can’t be together. Without it, we have no triumphant run into each other’s arms! We have no giant sign of happiness.

We have no conflict, tension and late-night reading!

YOU MUST HURT YOUR CHARACTERS and make them BREAK UP!! I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, really.

I know there are a few novelists who don’t want to be mean to your characters—but if you don’t, then they don’t ponder their existence, hit their knees, find the truth and change into better people. And we want better people, right?

Just say, as you’re typing…this is for your own good, I promise!!

As you’re sketching our your Black Moments/Epiphany and how to create, pick the biggest WHY NOT. It is this element that causes them to break up. (Find more on this at Book Therapy archives: The Black Moment archived posts.

In one of my books, my hero’s mission is going to get an untrained person hurt. And, he can’t fall for her, so he stages a breakup. This fight embarrasses and hurts her, and she believes all his feelings for her were just an act (like the feelings of her ex-non-boyfriend-turned-future-brother-in-law) which gets at her core issues that she’s a “leftover.” And then she does something that makes him think she can’t be trusted (his why not).

Ask: What makes your hero/heroine break up? (don’t worry, you can change it later—right now you are just brainstorming). Ideally, the breakup also be tied in with her greatest fear.

The breakup is essential to a romance, because we want true love to win. If love isn’t at stake, there is no fear of losing, no turning of pages. But, there should be a good reason for them to be together, which leads us to next week’s blog: why do they love each other?

See you next week.

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*Article series first appeared on Book Therapy Voices blog in October, 2010. Used by permission.

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To learn more about Susan, visit her website. Her latest release, Point of No Return, is a romantic suspense. Here's the blurb:

An American boy and a warlord's engaged daughter have disappeared—together—in an Eastern European border country. Only one man can find them in time to prevent an international meltdown—Chet Stryker. But Chet is taken aback when he realizes the boy is the nephew of Mae Lund, Chet's former flame. When Mae insists on rescuing her relative herself, Chet knows he has to protect her from the enemy on their trail. Yet can he protect himself from falling for Mae again?

Ten Beats of a Romance: Part Two by Susan May Warren

Happy Manuscript Monday and Happy Valentine's Day, dear readers. This craft-focused day we'll continue our series on writing romance with Susan May Warren. Today's topic, creating a good fight.

Adding Sparks to your Romance*
by Susan May Warren

We’re talking this month about the 10 beats in a romance – those ten elements that help us craft and structure our romance. Today, we’ll build to Beat 5: Sparks!

A great romance has a lot of Sparks! I love a book or movie with great dialogue. It’s that spark between the hero and heroine that makes us fall in love with them.

You want to build in some witty conversation, and especially FIGHTS! A great fight causes great tension.

My two favorite scenes in While You Were Sleeping are the couch scene and the walk home/leaning scene. But have great dialogue where they share their hearts. Often this happens when they are in a fight…so, think of a place where your hero/heroine could have ONE great fight—go write it in!

One writer recently asked, “On fights: what do you suggest to make fights not contrived, and not about one being childish, or about a simple misunderstanding?”

God question! A fight might start with a misunderstanding (as most fights do!) but in the end, they are often about core values—what they believe about each other, or things they need to confront. A good fight should make each of them think about who they are and cause some shift toward change in their lives (as do all good fights). A fight built on a misunderstanding at its core is frustrating for the reader. And although we’ll buy it for a while, as they get deeper into their relationship, it needs to be a real core issue that holds them apart.

“So how do we keep the reader from getting frustrated? I guess I’m asking how to make it a good fight without confusion the reader?”

Let’s take You’ve Got Mail—it’s basically built on “miscommunication.” But as we go deeper, we realize that he has unraveled her entire life, and she might not forgive him once she finds out who he is… so he has to woo her in the flesh to get her to overcome the “little misunderstanding.”

Get at the core of their misunderstanding and make that be the WHY NOT—not the miscommunication. The biggest fight, the one that keeps them apart, should be about core values.

“Is there a way to make the fight not sound too cheesy or too the other way, if there is one?”

You need to make it real. Which means you need a fight that is sort of…well, not childish, but not mean either. Here’s what I do—I weave into the fight, peeling back the layers until I get to the core. I also fight dirty—I use sarcasm, name calling, I will even throw things (all things I would never do in real life. *grin*)

I might reveal the fight in little bits—but the BIG fight is the one where I go for the jugular. It’s actually sort of therapeutic, now that I think about it. I love a great story fight! In a great fight, I don’t finish sentences, I cut people off, I assume things, I basically throw out everything I’ve ever told my children about fighting, and let my character misbehave.

A good fight scene reveals the core of the character…the issues they’ve been dancing around. He sees her core but she believes she’s hiding something, so he calls her out on all of her stuff. Then she reveals what she sees in him. A good fight scene really has to get straight to the core, revelatory issues. Otherwise it’s boring and you lose the good stuff in between.

You want to have it all hang out, right there, bleeding. Ugly. So they can take a good look at them and grow from it.

This is just my opinion, but polite fights (unless it is sub-texting) are cheesy fights.

You want them to say something really sharp, profound. Which means it might get rough out there. And most of all, NO APOLOGIZING!!!! Don’t pull your punches!

If she calls him a jerk, let it hang out there. Don’t write that she feels bad and says “I shouldn’t have said that.” And let the argument be sub-texted so we see they are really fighting about falling in love, not the fact that she lied to him about her identity.

You might have her think later, “I shouldn’t have said that” but at the time, don’t. It lessens the energy of the fight. I see SO many people pull back from that great, painful moment—if it needs to be said—say it!

I love it when I read a great piece of dialogue and I think—AH! I can’t believe she said that! He so deserved it!

So, build in a great fight, or a series of good fights/conflict between the heroine and heroine, and you’ll have a story with spark!

Next week we’ll finish up with the last four beats!

*Article series first appeared on Book Therapy Voices blog in October, 2010. Used by permission.

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To learn more about Susan, visit her website. Her latest release, Point of No Return, is a romantic suspense. Here's the blurb:

An American boy and a warlord's engaged daughter have disappeared—together—in an Eastern European border country. Only one man can find them in time to prevent an international meltdown—Chet Stryker. But Chet is taken aback when he realizes the boy is the nephew of Mae Lund, Chet's former flame. When Mae insists on rescuing her relative herself, Chet knows he has to protect her from the enemy on their trail. Yet can he protect himself from falling for Mae again?

Ten Beats of a Romance: Part One by Susan May Warren

Happy Manuscript Monday, everyone! It's February, the month of Valentine's Day and what better way to celebrate than with a series on writing romance? Susan May Warren is here all month to share her series on the Ten Beats of Romance. This series is helpful for writers of romance, or if you include a secondary romantic thread in your novel, or if you just want to better understand this genre. Read on!

Ten Beats of a Romance Novel: Part One*
Susan May Warren

Every genre (including romance) has key elements—things that we expect from that type of story. Because of this, people might say a romance is predictable. But the author has license to change up these elements, putting them in a different order.

And of course, they are bringing their own voice to the romance—telling it in a way only they know how. That is why we enjoy remakes of old films—because even though it is the same story, it has a different take, and we love that—and frankly, we love seeing the new voice applied to the old structure!

Every romance, regardless of the order these components fall in, has the same ten components. For our series, we’ll call them beats.

Let’s start with the first component:

Beat 1: Boy Meets Girl: In this component, there is an event, goal or circumstance that occurs to bring our hero and heroine together. Usually this happens in the first chapter, but it definitely needs to happen by chapter three. In Titanic, the ship brings the hero and heroine together.

As you sketch out your novel, start by defining that Boy Meets Girl moment. Once you have your Boy meets Girl moment, you can move on to the next beat:

Beat 2: Interest/Need: Something about their own situation makes their heart vulnerable to romance.

In Titanic, Rose hates her life, feels suffocated and longs for freedom and adventure. Jack is a vagabond, and when he sees this beautiful woman who loves him, he is affirmed. She believes in him!

It’s very important for you to figure out what it is about your characters that make them ready or vulnerable to romance. Often this element is revealed though a conversation they have with their friends. Or is a part of inciting incident.

Remember, right now, you’re just building the components—you can move them around to fit the story.

Which brings us to the next beat…

Beat 3: Why Not: These are the obstacles between the hero and heroine that conspire to separate them.

I break these down into two different structures—why/why not, and why not/why.
The why not/why is when the obstacles appear first, and the why (they need to be together, which we’ll get to in a moment) appears second.

Or, you may have a why/why not book where they fall in love first…and then realize why they can’t be together.

Again, these are just components you need to have—they can occur in different orders.

Here’s an example of a Why Not: Sleepless in Seattle: She lives in Baltimore, he lives in Seattle!

The key is, you MUST have why nots in a romance. Because without the WHY NOT, there is no conflict and the story is…boring. Or not a story.

So—as you’re building your story think about the WHY NOT that you will keep them apart.

We’re going to skip over the WHY right now (but we’ll be coming back to it) and move onto the next component:

Beat 4: Wooing: Events or situations that allow the hero and heroine to fall in love. This is the fun stuff—all those “dates” or events they have that make them fall for each other. As we get deeper into building our romance, we’ll talk about the nature and purpose of each of these wooing dates, but for now, let’s just identify them.

One of my favorite is in While you Were Sleeping—moving the sofa!

It’s important to create scenes that will engage the reader—something sweet, and things the reader would like to do. You can be creative about the wooing moment—I’ve had motorcycle rides, hockey, a trip to the library, a snowmobile ride…think outside the box. Where would you like to go?

For every romance, I try and plot at least ONE great date scene, and a couple smaller scenes.

Ask: Do you have any wooing scenes?

These are the first four beats of a great romance. But they are just the beginning. Next week, we’ll talk about the element that makes a romance great: SPARKS!

*Article series first appeared on Book Therapy Voices blog in October, 2010. Used by permission.

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To learn more about Susan, visit her website. Her latest release, Point of No Return, is a romantic suspense. Here's the blurb:

An American boy and a warlord's engaged daughter have disappeared—together—in an Eastern European border country. Only one man can find them in time to prevent an international meltdown—Chet Stryker. But Chet is taken aback when he realizes the boy is the nephew of Mae Lund, Chet's former flame. When Mae insists on rescuing her relative herself, Chet knows he has to protect her from the enemy on their trail. Yet can he protect himself from falling for Mae again?

Spiritual Journeys of our Characters, Part 4 by Susan May Warren

This Manuscript Monday, Susan May Warren concludes her series on the inner journey our characters get to travel (lucky them!). What a pleasure it's been hosting her. Enjoy!

Spiritual Journey of our Characters Series, Part 4*
by Susan May Warren

Now that our hero has confronted his Black Moment and seen the light, we have to know that the Black Moment and the Epiphany have worked and that our character has truly learned his lesson and changed.

How do we show this? There are a number of key elements you want to weave into the last section of the book – let’s say the last two-three chapters that will help you prove this.

First, we want to see that your hero/heroine is truly a NEW MAN. It’s the confirmation and presentation of the changed person he/she has become, complete with new skills, new beliefs, and new courage.

This New Man moment happens right before the finale of the story. We want to glimpse what our new man looks like.

Then you are ready for the finale: the TEST of the new man through the Final Battle.

The Final Battle is the cementing that yes, the truth is RIGHT and with it they can win the day.

The Final Battle (a metaphor for the concepts, just so we’re clear) has five parts:

Storming the Castle, Lie, Loss, Truth, Victory

Step One: Storming the Castle

In my book Nothing But Trouble, (the first PJ Sugar book), her black moment is when she is arrested at the end for something she didn’t do. She wants to run. But, she has learned that maybe God made her with a curious bone and all her crazy skills are a good thing. So, I have her go to get her nephew from where he is staying and, when she sees the potential mystery-solving clue, instead of giving up, she takes a chance, digs deep into her toolkit of skills and saves the day. It’s short, but it confirms that she’s a different person.

I often figure out how they will Storm the Castle by asking: what can’t they do at the beginning of the book that they can at the end? For PJ, it’s keep her commitments.

Now that we have the Battle overview, and their Storm the Castle action, now we have to add some conflict. Because only in conflict do we test/reveal the mettle of a man (or woman!)

The next thing we must do to test our character in the Final Battle is resurrect the Lie.

Step 2: Resurrection of the LIE

Your hero has to believe that he will lose the battle. This is where the lie raises its almost dead head. We see it again. Is it going to win, or is our man truly a new man, armed with the truth, willing to escape/defeat the lie?

PJ Sugar fails in her attempt to subdue the villain, and finds herself in trouble. She’s NOT amazing, she’s just a mess. (That’s the Lie).

Right on the heels of the resurrection of the Lie is a glimpse of what they might lose.

Step 3: Glimpse of the Loss

With the rising of the LIE, there is also the Loss of the goal. The realization that the victory could pass out of their reach.

For PJ, if she’s killed, the villain will also hurt her nephew, whom she’s sworn to protect. She’ll lose her sister’s love and her mother’s confidence. She really will be Nothing but Trouble.

Give us a glimpse of the loss…and then follow it quickly with a reminder of the Truth.

Step 4: Reminder of the Truth

At the pivotal moment, the hero/heroine has to remember the Truth and what they’ve learned. Just like all of us right before we do something we know is wrong, and we hear the voice of Truth that stops us, the Truth stops our hero.

For PJ Sugar, although she’s failed at her first attempt, knows that she knows the truth about the mystery and blurts out the plot to the killer. He accuses her of babbling and pounces on her…but it acts as a diversion so the good guys can burst in. She’s saved the day with her crazy, everyday skills.

This Reminder of the Truth is the key to cementing that character change, and leads us to Victory.

Step 5: The Victory!

Then, of course we must have that Happily Ever After that gives the Hero and Heroine what they want.

PJ Sugar, having saved the day with her crazy skills, doesn’t have to run from her past anymore. She a heroine in her town.

Mapping out the inner journey can be as extensive or as minimal as you want. I like to define the Steps that I’ve just outlined and let the story and characterization take it from there.

*From My Book Therapy, originally entitled: The Final Battle: Finishing the Inner Journey for your Hero

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Susan's latest release: Nightingale

Wolfgang Jager grew up in Iowa---but he's fighting on the "other" side in World War II. And Esther Lange is trapped by her own battles. When Wolfgang is captured and sent to a Wisconsin POW camp, he's relieved---until he's accused of murder! Can faith save him and the woman he loves?

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To learn more about Susan, visit her Web site.

Spiritual Journeys of our Characters, Part 3 by Susan May Warren

We so appreciate Susan's willingness to visit us this fall with her series on our characters' inner journeys. This Manuscript Monday, she discusses the black moment and how it's pivotal in the character's inner journey. Enjoy!

Spiritual Journeys of our Characters, Part 3*
by Susan May Warren

Okay, I’m just going to say it, and I’m using my Mom tone. The Black Moment is the POINT of your story. Because without the Black Moment, there is no epiphany and no character change, and if you are writing a romance, it is Absolutely Required.

If you don’t have a black moment in your story, then you don’t have a story. Sorry if that hurts…BUT, we’re going to fix it, right?

Last week, I promised more on the black moment. Today, let’s talk about how to weave in the lie with the black moment for effective character change!

Step Five: The Black Moment

In this step, the lie rears its ugly head, and the hero is caught in the darkness. This is RIGHT BEFORE the epiphany, and in a great inspirational story, the emotional and plot black moment can be entwined with the spiritual black moment. This is when, after he’s tried to escape on his own, he realizes he can’t – that the lie is pulling him back in. So, he drops to his knees and lets the lie cascade over him.

The spiritual black moment is when the lie seems bigger than life, and inescapable.

Why do you need this? Because this is when the TRUTH will come in and set them free. (That’s the next step and we’ll get to that).

First, how do you use the LIE in the Black Moment?

Sometimes, I have the Black Moment Event and follow up with a reaction where they realize the impact of that Black Moment Event, and thus see the LIE, which is inescapable.

In a romance, I might put the LIE in after he’s hurt the heroine and they’ve “broken up” (and/or vice versa for the heroine). Or, I might push it back to the moment when his greatest fears come true, and he realizes he’s lost her for good.

A LIE might actually occur BEFORE the black moment event – where his lie CONTRIBUTES to the black moment.

Or, you could have the Black Moment Event, then the LIE, THEN have the romantic black moment, as a result of all three.

How to decide when to use the LIE? Look at the rhythm of your story – does the lie cause the Black Moment, or does the Black Moment cause the revelation of the Lie?

Step 6: The Aha! The truth that sets them free

At some point during the black moment, you need to interject some light. It’s wonderful if it is delivered in a metaphorical moment, but it’s also good via another voice of truth.

This is where the character recognizes what they've needed to see all along.

Next week, we’re going to talk about the LAST step in the journey, something I call Storming the Castle.

* From My Book Therapy, originally titled: Set Me Free

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Susie's latest book, Nightingale, released this week from Summerside.

Wolfgang Jager grew up in Iowa---but he's fighting on the "other" side in World War II. And Esther Lange is trapped by her own battles. When Wolfgang is captured and sent to a Wisconsin POW camp, he's relieved---until he's accused of murder! Can faith save him and the woman he loves?

~~~~~

To learn more about Susan, visit her Web site.

Spiritual Journeys of our Characters, Part 2 by Susan May Warren

This week, Susie continues her series on developing the spiritual thread (inner journey) of our characters. I've found these posts very helpful! Please welcome her back this Manuscript Monday.

Spiritual Journeys of our Characters, Part 2*

by Susan May Warren

Last week, we started our character’s spiritual journey by asking: What lie do they believe? This week, armed with the lie, the first thing you want to do on the journey, (even in that first scene) is PROVE IT.

Step Two: Confirmation of the Lie – Proof

What can you do to convince the hero that his lie is true? You want to do something at the beginning of the book that will cement him into this lie – of course, it needs to be something that only pushes him deeper in trouble.

In my book, Nothing But Trouble, PJ Sugar, my heroine believes that she can do no right – and that God isn’t on her side. In fact, that she’s a sort of misfit, and that He has no use for her, even though she is saved. And, in the first part of the book, we really see this as true – her “pastor” boyfriend rejects her, her nephew whom she is supposed to take care of hates her, and when she tries to help a friend in trouble, it only backfires on her. She is convinced that she is trouble.

Step Three: The Voice of Truth

In every book, you should have someone who is outside the lie. Someone who sees the truth and can declare it – either directly, or in their actions, or in some sub-texted speech to the hero/heroine.

Step Four: The realization of the Lie and the Testing of the Truth

At some point, your hero has to see that he’s been living in the lie, and that he CAN change. He has to see there is another way—if only he can embrace the truth.

Next week, we’ll talk about how to weave the lie in for maximum Black Moment effect!

(*From My Book Therapy—Originally titled “I Have a Lie, Really?”)

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Nightingale, Susan's latest book, releases TODAY!

Wolfgang Jager grew up in Iowa---but he's fighting on the "other" side in World War II. And Esther Lange is trapped by her own battles. When Wolfgang is captured and sent to a Wisconsin POW camp, he's relieved---until he's accused of murder! Can faith save him and the woman he loves?

~~~~~

To learn more about Susan, visit her Web site.

Spiritual Journeys of our Characters, Part 1 by Susan May Warren

Susan May Warren is here this Manuscript Monday to continue our series on spiritual threads. For the next three MM's, she'll offer some practical advice on portraying our protagonists' inner journeys. Welcome, Susan!

Spiritual Journeys of our Character, Part One*
By Susan May Warren

As a reader, I don’t want the spiritual plot to be so thick that it strangles me—and as a writer, I don’t want to strangle my reader. I want the story to intrigue, to draw my reader deeper, to allow them to look at the issues and wrestle with them without feeling as though they are told what to believe and think. I want a journey for my character that feels unique, and yet personal—both to the character, and ultimately for the reader.

How do we do this?

Every story has a character on an inner journey—that’s actually the point of the journey—to teach your hero and heroine some truth that will change their lives. Even for general market books, a character is on this journey—they just don’t point to the source of truth.

As you’re writing your book, you might start out with a truth you want to reveal. Or, you might start out on the journey, not sure where you’re going to end up. Either way, you need a game plan on how you are going to get there.

Let’s start with a roadmap:

Step 1 – Spiritual Darkness – The Lie They Believe

In plotting my stories, you know I often start with a story question – and the same thing goes for the spiritual thread.

Knowing your hero’s dark past will help you understand their lie.

start by going to that dark moment in their past and ask: What lie do you believe from that dark moment?

The lie will lead you to the most important question in the interview: What holds them back from a relationship with God? Try and boil it down to one sentence.

In my book Happily Ever After, my heroine, Mona needed to trust God and forgive herself (accept God’s forgiveness). My hero, Joe needed to forgive his father.

In Francine Rivers’ book, Redeeming Love – Angel needed to accept God’s unconditional love and forgiveness, and then see Hosea as God’s instrument to love her.

(*From My Book Therapy—Originally titled “What Lie Do You Believe?”)

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Nightingale, Susan's latest books, releases November 1, 2010 from Summerside Press

Wolfgang Jager grew up in Iowa---but he's fighting on the "other" side in World War II. And Esther Lange is trapped by her own battles. When Wolfgang is captured and sent to a Wisconsin POW camp, he's relieved---until he's accused of murder! Can faith save him and the woman he loves?

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To learn more about Susan and her books, visit her Web site.

It's Just a Little Kiss by Susan May Warren

Hey everyone, Annette here. Welcome to Manuscript Monday. If you're like Dawn or me, you probably have lots of sources for craft material--magazines, ezines, writing groups. BookTherapy.com is one of those sources for us. As members, we receive articles from Susan May Warren and Rachel Hauck. Recently, Susan sent out a fantastic article on sexual tension for us inspirational romance writers. Now, not to worry, it's a wholesome treatment, of course. If you're a romance writer, get set for some great tips on honoring God while writing that love story. With Susan's permission, I've trimmed up her article and I'm sharing it here. Have a great writing week!

It's Just a Little Kiss
by Susan May Warren

How do we create sexual tension in a book, and when do we use it?

The components of great sexual tension start with the Wishing – or the Desire. The more our characters wish for romance, affection and a happily ever after, the stronger the tension will become. I usually put it in terms of the PULL toward the object of their affection. The pull takes on three different forms:

The Wanting – The characters must enjoy spending time together. Sure, they might have sparks, but even those sparks should be enjoyable. As the romance progresses they should have an increasing awareness that they like each other. They will also become more physically aware of each other. Increase the Wanting – emotionally and physically.

The Work – The characters will continue to discover the “layers” of each other, and find the “treasures” inside each layer. As they discover the increasing value of each other, the idea of not being with each other – even if they still have considerable obstacles, will seem more and more horrible. The key to the Work is a slow “unlayering” of the characters – and an appreciation of each layer.

The What-if – Your hero and heroine should also begin to picture what a future might look like with the other person. What it might be like to have them in their life (in a positive way – we’ll get to the negatives in a moment!) They need to talk to their friends about this, and even visualize it to the point where they thirst for it.

The Pull is just one half of Sexual Tension. We also need the Push if we want to create adequate pressure. I also call it The Waiting.

The Waiting is that time period where you are building the Wish….but are keeping the hero and heroine apart. This first element of keeping them can be termed The Walls.
The first set of Walls between your hero and heroine are those External Obstacles – or Why Nots that we’ve set up between the hero and heroine. What physical elements in the plot keep these people apart?

These obstacles are key to keeping them apart. However, as the story progresses, these external obstacles will feel less important than their love . . . and this is where internal obstacles come in. Underlying the external obstacles will be the hint of a bigger issue, usually something from the character’s past that make them afraid of love. Whatever the internal obstacle it is, it conspires to keep them apart on an emotional, and even a spiritual level.

However, eventually (usually around half-way through the book), they can’t hold back any longer, and . . . well, they have what I call . . . The Wink. This is that tentative, or quick, or accidental, or even purposeful-but-mistaken first Kiss. It acts as a taste of what could be. Now, here’s a secret – the timing of this kiss is essential because once you allow them the kiss, tension deflates. I often wait for that moment when the tension feels unbearable…and then I hold them back! I wait until the next chapter. And then I give them just a taste, so I don’t deflate the tension.

Now, we’ve had the taste of the happy ending, The Wish becomes overwhelming.
About three chapters later, I then have The Wow. This is the amazing, we waited for it kiss! The one to cement in their minds that Wonderful ending they’re hoping for. But they still need to Wish for it.

Hold them back with a final Warning. The Warning is that internal obstacle that suddenly becomes so overwhelming that it feels insurmountable. Often the Warning happens right before the black moment. The hero and heroine have to believe that they can’t overcome the internal obstacle to love.

To find that internal obstacle, ask your character: What holds you back from love? What inner element keeps you apart?

Of course, true love will win the day – they’ll know that the Why of their relationship is stronger than the Why Not, and armed with some truth that overcomes the black moment, and they are set free to have The Wonderful, foot-raising happy ending kiss.

See with the right kiss, all that tension was worth it.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Here's info about Susie's January, 2010 release: Double Trouble

With one solved case under her belt, PJ Sugar is ready to dive into her career as a private investigator. Or at least a PI's "assistant" until she can prove herself to Jeremy Kane, her new boss. Suddenly PJ's seeing crime everywhere. But is it just in her head, or can she trust her instincts? When she takes on her first official case-house-sitting for a witness in protective custody-Jeremy assures her there's no danger involved. But it soon becomes clear that there is someone after the witness . . . and now they're after PJ, too.

The next book in the PJ Sugar series, Licensed for Trouble, will release in August, 2010. Thanks, Susie, for visiting these past two months. We've loved having you here and can't wait to host you again!

Fools Gold and the Missing Treasure by Susan May Warren

This Manuscript Monday Susan May Warren concludes her series "Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters." It's been a pleasure hosting Susan again these several weeks. Thank you, Susie, for sharing craft tips with our readers in a movie-lover's fashion!

Fool’s Gold and the Missing Treasure
by Susan May Warren

This question lingers throughout the rest of the movie. Why are they divorcing?

I love a great romance. Something that stirs my heart and makes me believe anew in true love. And what’s not to love about Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson?

Any movie that takes place in the Caribbean is a winner for me. Add to that a buried treasure and an adventure . . . I thought I’d love their newest romantic comedy, Fool’s Gold.

Admittedly, the shallow part of me did. But the part that longed for a true romance . . . well, I walked out empty-hearted. It had the right ingredients:– cute couple, adventure, locale, even a sound subplot. What was it missing?

I call it The Key. It’s the moment/situation/reality in the movie that unlocks the characters’ true feelings and opens the treasure they’ve really been hunting for: intimacy; the realization that they belong together. Why do we love romances like Sleepless in Seattle, While You Were Sleeping, or even Return to Me? It’s because in these movies, the couple uses the key and to unlock their hearts. They confess the truth of their failings and their deep need for each other. (Remember the line in Return to Me: “I’ll always miss Elizabeth, but I ache for Grace.” Oh!)

Let’s return to Fool’s Gold.

We know Finn loves Tess, after all, he grabs her picture—and only her picture— from his sinking boat. And Tess loves Finn, evidenced by the mascara dropping in the sink in her first scene. But it’s not long after that we discover they have problems. Tess believes he is completely irresponsible and even uncaring about their relationship. After all, he can’t even bother to show up for their divorce on time.

However, he is racing to stop it. “This is a big mistake!” he says after bursting into the judge’s chambers. “This woman and I still love each other.”

But it’s too late. They’re already divorced. Finn, in desperation, turns to her and asks, “Why?”

This question lingers throughout the rest of the movie. Why are they divorcing? But a great romance needs to start at the beginning. Why do they belong together?

Sure, they’re both treasure hunters, both driven by the mystery, by the magic of adventure; however, clearly they are different people. She is smart, ambitious, responsible; he’s a mess and a lying scoundrel, albeit driven and charming.

One she can’t seem to eject him from her life.

He appears on the boat she’s working on, and soon he’s cajoled the owner (and her) into racing after the one thing that binds them together: a buried treasure.

The movie makes a valiant attempt to subtext the metaphor treasure with their happily ever after. “Aurelia’s [the treasure] right around the corner. And she’s all ours,” he says.

We hope so, but instead of diving deep into their issues, or even realizing why these two love each other, the story keeps us at surface level. Finn and Tess unlock the clues together, even share a moment of passion, but still, what went wrong? Why should they give their marriage another chance?

Fast forward to the end when they’ve nearly lost their lives and they’re in an airplane about to crash. He says, “This next part, I’m not exactly sure how to pull off.” Of course, he’s talking about landing. But he could just as well be talking about their future.

“Are we going to die?” she asks.

“No. No, we’re not.”

So, suddenly they’ve bridged their gap and are on the home run toward the happily ever after. Except, what happened to the middle? They key moment when they realize that something has changed? Is finding the treasure all they need to find happily ever after?

Apparently yes, because when they surface, the first thing out of Finn’s mouth is, “I’m sorry. I love you. I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes. Marry me.”

“No, you haven’t,” she says. And follows up with, “And, yes, I will.”

Okay, we can buy that excitement of finding the treasure has reminded her of why she was first drawn to him. And, of course, without the financial woes between them, life will certainly be easier.

But what about that deeper treasure? The value of each other that they’ve found during their journey?

What need do they fulfill in each other’s life? Passion? Adventure?

“Why?” Finn asked when his wife divorced him.

“Why?” we ask as we watch them get back together.

Because although it’s a fun romp with beautiful people, their issues are still so glaring we know it can’t last. Will he still be a scoundrel? Probably. Will she still get fed up with him? No doubt. Will they continue to require dangerous adventures to keep them together? Most likely. They haven’t really found the true value of their relationship; they’ve only discovered Fool’s Gold.

It’s all about the why. Why do they belong together? Why can’t they live without each other? Why is the happily ever after worth the risk? Ask your hero and heroine why, and you’ll discover The Key to unlocking the real treasure of a great romance.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Back to the Deep Magic of Narnia by Susan May Warren

Hey readers. Do we have any C.S. Lewis fans out there? This Manuscript Monday, Susan May Warren draws lessons from Narnia to share craft tips. Enjoy!

Back to the Deep Magic of Narnia:
How to Write a Successful Sequel
by Susan May Warren

It’s not easy to write a sequel . . .

I love series books. I can’t help it—I get to know a character or a group of people and I want to stick around with them, to know them and watch them journey on. I am sure this is what made Dee Henderson’s O’Malley series a must-buy on my list. And why I flock to movies one, two, three, four, five, and six (whatever order you want to put them in) of Star Wars and Harry Potter. As soon as we hear the word “sequel,” whether to a great book or movie, we’re caught up in the magic, the images, and the emotions of our favorite books and movies. We long to dive back into that world, to be enchanted again with the story, the characters, and the fictive dream.

But sadly, we’re so often let down. How many “sequel” movies have we watched only to leave the theater with a sense of disappointment? Or how many second books have we put down, thinking, I can’t read the third?

It’s not easy to write a sequel . . . much less make it better than the first. I had mixed emotions about Prince Caspian. I didn’t love the ending, but perhaps because I knew Susan and Peter’s adventures were over. But I did enjoy the romp through Narnia a second time—so let’s take a look at the elements of a successful sequel.

Draw us back into the storyworld. Narnia 2 (Prince Caspian) opens with an explosive start— the birth of a son of the king of Miraz (Prince Caspian’s uncle), and thus the need to kill the heir to the throne (Prince Caspian). Crossbows, swordplay, a race on horseback, an escape into the “dark forest,” and an accidental meeting of Narnians set the stage for the storyworld.

Catch us up to the characters. In the second scene of the movie, we see Lucy and Susan back in London, and immediately they intervene to stop a street fight in which Peter is at the center. Edmund bounces in to save him, and in the aftermath of their fight, Peter catches us up: “It’s been a year. How long does he expect us to wait?”

“I think it’s time to accept that we live here. It’s no use pretending any different.”

It’s like they’ve started to question the life they experienced in Narnia . . . and then the magic happens: The train station morphs into Narnia. Suddenly they’re throwing off their shoes and splashing in the turquoise waters of their favorite world. We see them explore the ruins of Car Paravel, the world they knew and loved, and at once we too are back inside the adventure. The next few scenes reach back to the past and build on the present—establishing their royalty, their skills, and their noble goal: save Narnia.

Widen the cast. Shortly after Peter and gang return to Narnia, we meet the “new players”: Prince Caspian’s evil uncle, King Miraz (who also jumpstarts the plot by raising the herald against the Narnians), and of course, we’ve already met Prince Caspian in the first scene. We also meet the starring Narnian (Trumpkin). Widening the cast not only allows the principals to interact with a new set of villains, but it allows them to deepen as they discover new conflict. Also, it lets us readers/viewers fall in love with a new set of characters—ones who can continue on in the series (e.g. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader).

Build on victories and defeats in previous books. Peter and his siblings soon realize that something nasty is afoot in Narnia. Car Paravel is in ruins, Aslan is missing, some of the animals no longer talk, and the land is troubled. The royal line (Prince Caspian) and the existence of Narnia is at stake (bringing up, by the way, the question about the beginning: “It’s no use pretending”), all the victories the kings and queens of Narnia accomplished—freeing Narnia from the witch and establishing peace—have been destroyed, and now they must repair the mess they left behind and save the world once again. Only, this time, it seems as if they’re in it alone because Aslan is nowhere to be found. And Narnia is worse off for having experienced peace and then losing it. A sequel must build on the past and raise a new problem as a result of it.

New Lessons for our favorite people. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Edmund acts as the chief character of change as he betrays the others for a piece of Turkish delight. It is his faith (or lack thereof) that is revealed and tested. However, Prince Caspian focuses on High King Peter and his struggle with the loss of his noble identity. He longs to be the adult, the king, the leader he’d been in Narnia, and we the start his journey in the train station when in a burst of frustration he says, “Don’t you get tired of being treated like a child?” In a good sequel, especially with a “team” of people, the principal character change must happen with the known, favorite characters. Sure, we care about Prince Caspian, and his rise to kingship is compelling, but it is Peter we are rooting for because we already know and love him, because we already identify with him, and for us, this trip to Narnia is about him. When we see him become the leader he once was, and he defeats King Miraz, both in battle and in morals, we see that he hasn’t been pretending. He is still the High King of Narnia.

A sequel doesn’t have to be a shadow of its predecessor. It can, in fact, build on the world and the characters already created and whet the reader’s/viewer’s appetite for number three!

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Indy and the Great Promise by Susan May Warren

This Manuscript Monday Susan May Warren continues her series "Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters." Welcome back, Susan.

Indy and the Great Promise:
A study of the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
by Susan May Warren

...who can argue with the magic of Connery and Ford as father and son...

I’ll never forget the first time I met Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Fresh from the Stars, Han Solo—um, er, Indy was exactly my kind of hero—a little bit arrogant, a little bit unassuming, a whole lotta cute, and best of all, he was searching for the ark of the covenant. In an age when most people still knew their Sunday school dogma, it was a quest worth investing in. And the premise, keeping the most holy of artifacts out of the hands of an evil empire—the Nazis—well, right there the franchise became a classic.

But Indy two—remember it? I didn’t think so. Sure, we all went, hoping for a continuation of the fun from Raiders, but in the Temple of Doom, what we got was a dark, mystical, creepy quest in the Far East, where Indy suddenly begins to speak a different language when muscled and sweaty priests try to rip his heart from his chest. I hated it.

Thankfully, the franchise took the clues and ended the trilogy with the formula that worked: Indy going after the relics of our faith in the Last Crusade, my personal favorite (who can argue with the magic of Connery and Ford as father and son?).

Another hit, and it revived the magic of the Indy Chronicles.

Fast forward a couple decades and the old believers still love Indy. Yet, it’s time for a new guard. So, Indy is revived, and still looking good, despite a few years on him, enters the screen the same old arrogant, lip-curling rebel, this time taking on the Russians. (And, as a gal who lived in Russia, I can tell you that the accents are good!)

They bring Indy to the warehouse to find some mummified remains, during which we experience the good old Indy, battling his way out of danger through fast footwork and not a little luck. Better, we even see the ark, a nod to the past for Raiders fans.

We’re off to a great start with Indy teaching at college, quickly followed by a great escapade, where he meets his soon-to-be replacement, Shia LaBeouf, who of course has a map and a mystery. Old fans and new settle back for a great new quest.

Until Indy and Jr. head to South America . . . and the Indiana franchise reverts to the Temple of Doom mode. Veering away from the Judeo-Christian history of unearthing religious artifact, suddenly Indy’s entering the realm of the mystical. Psychic powers and strange magnetic fields and visitors from outer space.

The problem isn’t the subject matter—it’s the promise. See, Indy made us a promise in the first movie that he cared about the roots


And that’s when half the audience begins to go out for popcorn.

of our society—particularly the Judeo-Christian past. He proved that he’d save our beliefs from the clutches of evil. And our forgiving him for the crazy adventure in the Temple of Doom paid off in the Last Crusade.

However, now he’s got us chasing after aliens who suck out brains through our eyeballs, and, well, we’re not sure what to think.

I’m not against brain-sucking aliens, mind you. If it were Mulder and Scully in the X-Files sure, I’m game, because I know what to expect. They’re into visitors and creepy things from other planets. And frankly, I’m a big Smallville fan. But Indy, well, some of us in the old guard walked out of the theater feeling a little betrayed.

Really, Indy, do you believe in crystal-skulled aliens?

I know the producers were probably buying into the alien/psychic–crazed culture, wanting to grab an audience that could fall in love with Shia as Indy Junior. And I dig that . . . in fact here’s my edit: What if Shia was the one who believed . . . and Indy simply played along? Then at least Indy would still be that guy who might just be a little like us, the people who fell in love with him back in the day when church and pot-roast on Sundays were still a way of life. Now, we’re not sure what to think of Indy . . . has he lost his mind, whacked one too many times with his bullwhip? Or did we never really know him?

The point is to remember your audience and the value system of your hero from book to book. Because you made a promise to your readers about what they can expect from your hero, what he believes in, and what he’ll die for. And breaking that promise could cost you your loyal fans.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

August Rush Asks a Question by Susan May Warren

Welcome to the first Manuscript Monday of April. We're pleased Susan May Warren will continue her series on "Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters" As a lover of movies (Annette here, though I know Dawn loves movies, too) I've appreciated the parallels Susie's used to help us study craft. Enjoy!

August Rush Asks a Question
by Susan May Warren

It’s the question that is answered in the last line...

Can you hear it?

August Rush Asks a Question

Listen, can you hear it? The music.

I can hear it everywhere.

In the wind;

In the air;

In the light;

It’s all around us.

All you have to do is open yourself up;

All you have to do is listen.

These are the opening lines of last fall’s delightful movie, August Rush, delivered in the haunting, delicate voice of amazing young actor Freddie Highmore. The story opens with young Evan, a so-called orphan, leading a symphony made up of tall grasses in some lush field in upstate New York.

If you haven’t seen August Rush, rush out (pun intended!) and get it today because the soundtrack is soul filling. The pure delight in Evan/August’s eyes as he creates music resonates in the soul of any writer who loves to try on words for size, move sentences around, watch a character take life. Or for that matter, anyone who writes, or runs, or sings or even cooks, just because they must.

You’ll also learn something about the use of story question woven clearly, if not overtly, through every character, every scene in the movie.

A story question, more than a theme of any story, song, or movie, is a specific question that lingers behind every scene, every line of dialogue, every action the character makes. It’s the question that is answered in the last line. It’s the thing that makes a reader/viewer mull upon the story they’ve experienced long after the last notes have faded.

What can we learn about Story Question from August Rush?

Is it possible to hear the music in a person’s heart? Is music universally bonding? I think anyone who has been to a concert (Rascal Flatts to Daugherty) will pump a fist into the air with a resounding yes! But August Rush takes that question and turns it personal. Can people create music—essentially expose their souls to the world—and connect with the one person they’ve been looking for all their lives? This is the specific question that Evan/August asks as he runs away from his orphanage and sets out on a quest for his parents. And it’s this specific question, applied to this little boy, that drags us, fearing and cheering, with him.

It’s not only Evan/August who grapples with this question. In a well-woven story, the main characters all wrestle with some element or mutation of this question. His parents (Keri Russell and Jonathon Rhys Meyers) experienced the answer—which cumulated in August’s conception—but years later lost the ability to listen, to even hear their own music. Until they begin to hear it in their own souls, they’ll never hear it in August’s. The Wizard, played by Robin Williams, believes in the universal truth but scoffs at this personal application, angry with some wretched past at how this hope has betrayed him. He refuses to listen to the music inside and is angry at August’s naivety. The effect of August’s quest— and his unwavering conviction—is shown through the eyes of his social worker (Terrance Howard), who becomes a believer as he sees August’s dreams materialize.

[Spoiler Warning] Although critics might call the story overwritten, even sappy, it’s enjoyable because the answer to the question is easily accessible. We see the journey both parents take as they first acknowledge their “deafness” and begin to open themselves up again to their music; we see how “music” cares for August, landing him in Julliard, and even when he’s pulled back to the street, putting him face-to-face with his father in a wonderfully emotional reunion scene, (clear only to the audience, not to August and his father.) Then we see both parents lured first to each other, then to August as he breaks free from Wizard, believing in the truth, and bares his soul to the world (or at least New York City). The answer to the story question needs to be revealed, one page (or scene) at a time, gradually, but visible to the reader/viewer until it’s finally answered in the last scene.

Admittedly, August Rush is a feel-good movie, one designed to tug at our heart strings. But it works. Because by the end we, too, have listened and opened our hearts to the call of the music around us, and answered the question . . .

Yes, August, we can hear it.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Flawed Plotting: the Secrets of National Treasure by Susan May Warren

Happy Manuscript Monday everyone. Susan's back with some craft focus on how characterization affects plotting. Please welcome her back to Seriously Write as she continues her fantastic series.

Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters Series
Flawed Plotting: The Secrets of National Treasure
by Susan May Warren

When you’re plotting a book, think about the character flaws . . .

When I plot a book, I always start with a hero’s greatest dreams and greatest fears. Getting to the bottom of what my character dreads the most is a great way to develop the ultimate black moment.

But it’s not the only way. What if, in fact, you started with a character’s greatest FLAWS…and wrapped the black moment and the entire plot around your Character’s foibles? This is exactly the kind of plotting technique used in one of my favorite series of movies – National Treasure. And most specifically, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets.

Benjamin Gates. National Hero. Treasure Hunter, Historian and adventurer. He’s a guy with a long family history, and a firm belief in the secrets of our country. But Benjamin has a few flaws.

First, he has an overabundance of family honor. It’s a classic case of “Pride goeth before the fall.” Not saying that a person shouldn’t have pride in one’s family, but Ben’s so convinced of his family’s honor that he’s certain his great grandfather could never have planned the assassination of President Lincoln. This family pride conspires to drive him into proving the innocence of his family name. Like he says to his father, “We’re crazy, but we’re not liars.”

But Ben is also convinced that his always right, and believes that no one can solve the case but him. This flaw, at the onset of the movie, has driven his girlfriend crazy and caused him to be kicked out of the house. Of course, he needs her security pass to examine some evidence, so he breaks into her house. And then, when caught, he convinces her to let him examine the diary page that convicted his great grandfather of plotting the assassination, because of course, he can’t trust her (or anyone) to do it but himself. Because, they might miss a vital clue.

Of course, he’s….right.

Which leads to a further flaw used to plot the story. Benjamin Gates is highly suspicious of everything – which means he’s not going to settle for the obvious. He believes in the myths and the conspiracy theories which drive him to probe deeper into every mystery, and it’s this flaw that uncovers the cipher on the back of the diary page which leads to the next clue.

Benjamin Gates is also under the delusion that he can figure out a way to accomplish just about anything. Like break into the Queens’ Office in Buckingham Palace, or the Oval Office in the White house.

And eventually kidnap the president of the United States.

“Of course someone is after the treasure – it’s the axiom of treasure hunting.” (Thank you Riley, that was my point exactly). All these flaws work together to embroil his family and friends in the search for truth, and they end up, yes, discovering the City of Gold, but at nearly the cost of their lives. The flaws all converge into a final, fatal flaw – a belief that the ends justify the means. That it’s okay to risk life and limb and reputation and love for pride and family honor. And, well, money. The dark moment of truth: it’s not worth it if everyone you love dies, is it?

When you’re plotting a book, think about the character flaws. What kind of issues does your character deal with, and how can they lead him from one bad (or good?) action to the next? How can they converge to bring about the dark moment, and hopefully, an epiphany?

Thankfully, Gates is learning. Like, realizing that he can’t always assume he’s right. And that his stubbornness can lead to disaster. And hopefully, (but probably not, because we need a National Treasure 3) that the ends DON’T justify the means.

Of course, despite his flaws, Gates, has one character strength that balances out all his flaws, all his foibles. A noble belief that truth will win the day, and lead to the treasure.

Yeah, me too.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Jump In, But Follow the Rules by Susan May Warren

Are you enjoying Susan's series as much as we are? She's back this Manuscript Monday with another great article, pulling from movies to help us writers with our books. Welcome back, Susie!

Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters Series
Jump In, But Follow the Rules
by Susan May Warren

When the readers/viewers understand the rules of the world, regardless of how far-fetched...

A Review of Jumper

I admit it; I went to see the movie Jumper because I have four teenagers, three of whom are boys. Because the special effects captured every boy’s wildest dream of being able to transport himself wherever his whims carried him and the hero was Hayden Christopher (that was for the teen daughter), I thought we’d have a winner.

Aside from the morally questionable, unsympathetic hero, David, who uses his brilliant superpowers not for good, (i.e., saving Katrina victims), but rather to seduce women, steal money, and live a life of debauchery every mother would cringe at, the story itself, which I as a writer can’t get past, drove me crazy with its messiness.

Somewhere in the mess was story structure. Good Guy (or is he Bad Guy?) David (Christopher),is chased through the world by Bad Guy (or is he Good Guy?) Paladin Roland (played by Samuel L. Jackson). We know David’s motivation has to be to stay alive and to win the girl’s heart (played by Rachel Bilson), after all, it is a teen movie. But he too easily wins her affections, so it can’t be a romance. And then there’s that mystery about his mother, and why she abandoned him at age five…

But those aren’t the biggest issues. I could probably sit back, numb myself with some popcorn and a giant soda if it weren’t for that fact that, well …I was confused.

Regardless of where the story takes place—in the streets of historical London, or Tatooine, the forest of Middle Earth, or the dark alleys of Gotham, we need to know the rules of the world in which our hero lives. Constructing Story World is about details, and making the fictional world breathe. But when constructing such a world, if it’s an unfamiliar world, the reader/viewer needs to know what can and can’t happen. Can trees talk? Can they walk? Which trees? (If you read Tolkien, you know the difference). What can destroy the Death Star and why? (Thank you, George) When the readers/viewers understand the rules of the world, regardless of how far-fetched, they can move inside it and lose themselves in the fictional dream.

What are these rules?

Let’s take a closer look at Jumper.

David gets his magical powers to jump when he’s about fifteen, when his life is threatened. He’s drowning. And suddenly, he’s not. He’s in a library. Why the library? What triggered the jump?

Great questions, and we’re at the edge of our seats waiting for answer that never comes. Rule #1: Tell us how and why the hero got his magic powers. Even if in “real world” –and the hero is a world-renowned sculptor, tell us where he studies and how he achieved his talent. Just a little clarity will help us believe.

After a little honing of these mysterious skills, David becomes a playboy with seemingly no consequences to his actions. This mother was actually a little relieved when Paladin Roland (Jackson) showed up with his Discipliner, the Mother of all Tazers. Which brings us to Rule #2: What are the hero’s limitations? His weaknesses? What foils him? Every hero has to have a weakness, a glitch in his abilities. The Terrifying Tazer helps, and later we discover that electricity binds David, but some hint of this at the beginning would have helped resolve the panic.

So poor David is chased around the world and meets another Jumper who knows this evil Paladin well. We begin to care a little bit (frankly, Roland is a bit terrifying), but we’re left wondering . . . why? So what if David is a playboy. And a thief. He’s not a serial killer. He’s not going to destroy the space-time continuum or the fabric of the earth (although he does some structural damage every time he lands). Why does Roland want to kill him? (I don’t buy the, “No one but God should have this power” bit; after all, Roland is trying to, uh, kill David. Another ideally, God-only power. Can anyone say, “Hypocrisy”?) Rule #3 is: ’Splain, please. What’s the big deal? Draw us a picture of what could happen if you don’t take out the Death Star, or if you don’t kill David. We want a glimpse at the dark future so we can get behind the, uh Good Guys? (See, I told you I’m confused).

These are not hard rules: How? What? Why? They frame the story for us, allowing us play freely on the playground of the imagination. They keep us from jumping out of our seats and running out for more popcorn. (And maybe the movie next door.) Supposedly these questions will be answered in the sequel.

Yeah, let me know if they do.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

27 Tears, er . . . Dresses by Susan May Warren

Please welcome back award-winning author Susan May Warren, to share another installment of her series this month.

Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters
27 Tears, er . . . Dresses
by Susan May Warren

Instead of one of dress, there’s a flock of look-alike dresses, all fitting (painfully) differently on each attendant . . .

What we can learn from 27 Dresses?

The problem with bridesmaids dresses is that they’re overcute. Especially the ones from the ’80s—you know what I’m talking about. Go to your closet, way in the back where you hid them and take a close look. Puffy sleeves, dropped waists, mermaid curves with one-shoulder straps. And the colors—peach, turquoise, metallic blue. Yes, there wasn’t one woman in the audience of the movie 27 Dresses who didn’t wince just a little when Jane Nichols (Katherine Heigle) opened her overstuffed closet and dragged out her monstrosities.

We vowed, right there in the theater, to run home and take a match to our own closets full of bygone trophies. But the very element that made this movie’s premise sympathetic and even endearing is also the reason this movie doesn’t work. Why it is . . . in a word . . . overcute.

Or, in another word: Sappy.

I really wanted 27 Dresses to be sweetly romantic. I love Katherine Heigl and James Marsden, who plays hero Kevin Doyle. The truth is, it’s not their fault the movie is syrupy, to the point of eye-rolling sappiness.

No, I blame the dresses.

Think about it. A bridesmaid dress is made to accentuate the bride’s dress. But instead of one of them, there’s a flock of look-alike dresses, all fitting (painfully) differently on each attendant. It’s overkill of theme and color. It is, in writer’s terms, overwriting. Overwriting is simply saying the same thing over and over, in different ways, with different words, using different angles . . . you get the picture. Sort of like wedding photos.

27 Dresses is cute and might have worked if it weren’t for the long, “preachy” scene where Jane’s sister, who up until this point not only has been a materialistic ditz, but also hasn’t earned our respect at all, delivers what is supposed to be sage wisdom to our beloved Jane about letting go of things. But Jane already knows this. She’s let go of the man she loves, her hopes and dreams, and even her decency. We get it—she has to live her own life. We don’t need it spelled out for us. First key to staying out of the Sap: Don’t preach it to us.

Remember the day when you looked at the V-necked lime green bridesmaid dress you were to wear, knowing that in it you would look like pasty dough-girl or an anemic whelp? Mine was a burgundy


scooped-back dress that made me look like I’d undergone surgery only hours before. Most of us said, “Okay, I’ll wear it.” The rest of us kept our mouths shut. Because that is what good bridesmaid do. And this is what the movie does.

In a leap that fit the movie plot but not the character, Jane decimates her sister’s rehearsal dinner. Why? Because the formula demanded it. She (like us) could have said, “Hey, I won’t wear that! I would look horrible in that.” Sappy movies don’t listen to the characters, they make them wear the dresses, because it follows the rules. Key two to staying out of the Sap: Stay true to your character.

Finally, have you ever stood, dressed for show, with the bride at the altar, knowing that she and the groom didn’t belong together? That despite his current pledges you were pretty sure he had made a pass at one of the guests the night before at the rehearsal dinner? Or worse, that the bride didn’t love the groom like she did her high school sweetheart, and was headed for disappointment? We want to wave them off, scream, “They don’t belong together!” But because they look so good in their white and black, we smile and hold the flowers.

Why exactly were Jane and Kevin right for each other? Yes, he was a romantic at heart, and she made him see that, but what did he do for her? He mocked her and zeroed in on her issues. Does that show he would care for her? That he would look beyond those issues and love her anyway? And what does knowing him do for her? Just because they were the only two single people in the cast does not mean they belong together. Just because they fit into the dress and the tuxedo doesn’t mean they should be the bride and groom. Final hint to staying out of the Sap: Give the hero and heroine a reason to belong together.

I really wanted to like this movie. I certainly loved the premise. And, I still love Katherine and James. In fact, I’m going to give them another chance . . . as long as no dresses are in the movie.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

PS I Love You and the Art of Flashbacks by Susan May Warren

Susan May Warren has returned this Manuscript Monday with the second installment of her craft series. Welcome, Susan!

Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters Series
P.S. I Love You and the Art of Flashbacks
by Susan May Warren

Plant clues to the past to raise your reader’s curiosity...

P.S.: I really, really love you!

P.S. I Love You and the Art of Flashbacks.

Gerard Butler as Irish pub-singing Gerry. The incredibly talented Hilary Swank as uptight American tourist Holly. A few precious moments with charming Denny, er Jeffery Dean Morgan, aka Denny, my favorite heart transplant patient from Grey’s Anatomy. What’s not to love? And I did love P.S. I Love You. Love, love, loved it. Cried my eyes out. My favorite line was “Let’s just go barefoot,”—a brilliant use of resonant metaphor in dialogue.

Aside from the many wonderful themes written into this screenplay, the movie also can eloquently teach us about effective use of flashbacks. Let’s take a look at how the screenwriter weaves in the backstory through flashbacks to draw out our emotions.

First, in the long prologue scene, the screenwriter gives us the clues that form the backbone of Gerry and Holly’s past, and provides a checklist of the backstory scenes we’ll need to experience to fully understand the story. It’s embedded smoothly in their “fight” scene: 1) Gerry was an Irish singer (now out of his element), 2) Holly and Gerry got married quickly (something that made her mother angry), and 3) Holly has to have life planned out. (Ultimately, these elements also raise the driving story question: Will Holly be able to get past her grief of losing her first brilliant love to find love again?) First principle of revealing backstory: Plant clues to the past to raise your reader’s curiosity (and provide some backstory elements to search for).

The first wonderful flashback scene is the hilarious karaoke moment when Holly breaks her nose. But that scene is essential for the reader to understand the impact Gerry had on her life. Through it, we see that only he could coax her out of her controlling personality. (It also plays into the epiphany moment, when she realizes that he saw in her more than she ever did). The second principle to revealing backstory: Focus on one specific essential moment. There may have been a thousand moments when Gerry made her think/act outside her tight personality. But this one stood out in stark, painful relief. And by focusing on one event instead of piling many together, we see the power he has in her life.

The second flashback scene takes place in Ireland at a pub. We don’t understand the significance of the pub nor the rather strange reaction Holly has when hunky hero Billy Gallagher (played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) begins to sing. Holly rushes out, leaving us to


wonder why—something we’ll discover later. Note that in revealing backstory, the screenwriter doesn’t trek all the way back to the beginning and build it chronologically, but rather unwinds the past starting at the most recent events. The key isn’t the sequence, instead it’s the significance. In the first flashback, Jerry liberates the inner “free” gal locked inside this rather tight real estate agent. It is a hint that there is more to her than we see and raises questions about how these two got together. The second flashback only raises more questions: What is it about this song and this pub that haunts her? Third principle to building backstory: Don’t reveal the backstory in one dump. Use it to raise more questions about the plot, even if you have to do it out of chronological order.

The final flashback clip is long, and finally we see how Gerry and Holly met, the girl she was when he first fell in love with her, and the significance of the pub scene. We see how he swept her off her feet, and likewise, what she was to him. More than anyone, Gerry believed in Holly and her vision, unclear as it was to her at the moment. Understanding this moment when they met, the girl she was, and Gerry’s goal to help her see that again is essential to give resonance to the ending and Holly’s final step in the journey. Fourth principle to revealing backstory: Give the final reveal of the backstory significance to the epiphany. This moment has to do more than build character; it has to reveal some truth vital to the story.

I was a sopping mess while watching the final flashback scene. I then rewound back to the pub scene, over and over, and . . . well, it’s a good thing I have TiVo. Then I rewatched the move. Again. And again. Like reading a good book over again, now that I knew the ending, the scenes became richer, evoking more emotions, and bringing the themes to life.

Flashbacks can be used effectively: Plant Clues, Focus on the most important moments, Raise More Questions, and finally Reveal Truth that add significance to the epiphany. These are the principles for creating backstory that is relevant, essential, and emotionally powerful. And P.S. . . . see the movie—you’ll love it!

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.