Fools Gold and the Missing Treasure by Susan May Warren

This Manuscript Monday Susan May Warren concludes her series "Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters." It's been a pleasure hosting Susan again these several weeks. Thank you, Susie, for sharing craft tips with our readers in a movie-lover's fashion!

Fool’s Gold and the Missing Treasure
by Susan May Warren

This question lingers throughout the rest of the movie. Why are they divorcing?

I love a great romance. Something that stirs my heart and makes me believe anew in true love. And what’s not to love about Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson?

Any movie that takes place in the Caribbean is a winner for me. Add to that a buried treasure and an adventure . . . I thought I’d love their newest romantic comedy, Fool’s Gold.

Admittedly, the shallow part of me did. But the part that longed for a true romance . . . well, I walked out empty-hearted. It had the right ingredients:– cute couple, adventure, locale, even a sound subplot. What was it missing?

I call it The Key. It’s the moment/situation/reality in the movie that unlocks the characters’ true feelings and opens the treasure they’ve really been hunting for: intimacy; the realization that they belong together. Why do we love romances like Sleepless in Seattle, While You Were Sleeping, or even Return to Me? It’s because in these movies, the couple uses the key and to unlock their hearts. They confess the truth of their failings and their deep need for each other. (Remember the line in Return to Me: “I’ll always miss Elizabeth, but I ache for Grace.” Oh!)

Let’s return to Fool’s Gold.

We know Finn loves Tess, after all, he grabs her picture—and only her picture— from his sinking boat. And Tess loves Finn, evidenced by the mascara dropping in the sink in her first scene. But it’s not long after that we discover they have problems. Tess believes he is completely irresponsible and even uncaring about their relationship. After all, he can’t even bother to show up for their divorce on time.

However, he is racing to stop it. “This is a big mistake!” he says after bursting into the judge’s chambers. “This woman and I still love each other.”

But it’s too late. They’re already divorced. Finn, in desperation, turns to her and asks, “Why?”

This question lingers throughout the rest of the movie. Why are they divorcing? But a great romance needs to start at the beginning. Why do they belong together?

Sure, they’re both treasure hunters, both driven by the mystery, by the magic of adventure; however, clearly they are different people. She is smart, ambitious, responsible; he’s a mess and a lying scoundrel, albeit driven and charming.

One she can’t seem to eject him from her life.

He appears on the boat she’s working on, and soon he’s cajoled the owner (and her) into racing after the one thing that binds them together: a buried treasure.

The movie makes a valiant attempt to subtext the metaphor treasure with their happily ever after. “Aurelia’s [the treasure] right around the corner. And she’s all ours,” he says.

We hope so, but instead of diving deep into their issues, or even realizing why these two love each other, the story keeps us at surface level. Finn and Tess unlock the clues together, even share a moment of passion, but still, what went wrong? Why should they give their marriage another chance?

Fast forward to the end when they’ve nearly lost their lives and they’re in an airplane about to crash. He says, “This next part, I’m not exactly sure how to pull off.” Of course, he’s talking about landing. But he could just as well be talking about their future.

“Are we going to die?” she asks.

“No. No, we’re not.”

So, suddenly they’ve bridged their gap and are on the home run toward the happily ever after. Except, what happened to the middle? They key moment when they realize that something has changed? Is finding the treasure all they need to find happily ever after?

Apparently yes, because when they surface, the first thing out of Finn’s mouth is, “I’m sorry. I love you. I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes. Marry me.”

“No, you haven’t,” she says. And follows up with, “And, yes, I will.”

Okay, we can buy that excitement of finding the treasure has reminded her of why she was first drawn to him. And, of course, without the financial woes between them, life will certainly be easier.

But what about that deeper treasure? The value of each other that they’ve found during their journey?

What need do they fulfill in each other’s life? Passion? Adventure?

“Why?” Finn asked when his wife divorced him.

“Why?” we ask as we watch them get back together.

Because although it’s a fun romp with beautiful people, their issues are still so glaring we know it can’t last. Will he still be a scoundrel? Probably. Will she still get fed up with him? No doubt. Will they continue to require dangerous adventures to keep them together? Most likely. They haven’t really found the true value of their relationship; they’ve only discovered Fool’s Gold.

It’s all about the why. Why do they belong together? Why can’t they live without each other? Why is the happily ever after worth the risk? Ask your hero and heroine why, and you’ll discover The Key to unlocking the real treasure of a great romance.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Back to the Deep Magic of Narnia by Susan May Warren

Hey readers. Do we have any C.S. Lewis fans out there? This Manuscript Monday, Susan May Warren draws lessons from Narnia to share craft tips. Enjoy!

Back to the Deep Magic of Narnia:
How to Write a Successful Sequel
by Susan May Warren

It’s not easy to write a sequel . . .

I love series books. I can’t help it—I get to know a character or a group of people and I want to stick around with them, to know them and watch them journey on. I am sure this is what made Dee Henderson’s O’Malley series a must-buy on my list. And why I flock to movies one, two, three, four, five, and six (whatever order you want to put them in) of Star Wars and Harry Potter. As soon as we hear the word “sequel,” whether to a great book or movie, we’re caught up in the magic, the images, and the emotions of our favorite books and movies. We long to dive back into that world, to be enchanted again with the story, the characters, and the fictive dream.

But sadly, we’re so often let down. How many “sequel” movies have we watched only to leave the theater with a sense of disappointment? Or how many second books have we put down, thinking, I can’t read the third?

It’s not easy to write a sequel . . . much less make it better than the first. I had mixed emotions about Prince Caspian. I didn’t love the ending, but perhaps because I knew Susan and Peter’s adventures were over. But I did enjoy the romp through Narnia a second time—so let’s take a look at the elements of a successful sequel.

Draw us back into the storyworld. Narnia 2 (Prince Caspian) opens with an explosive start— the birth of a son of the king of Miraz (Prince Caspian’s uncle), and thus the need to kill the heir to the throne (Prince Caspian). Crossbows, swordplay, a race on horseback, an escape into the “dark forest,” and an accidental meeting of Narnians set the stage for the storyworld.

Catch us up to the characters. In the second scene of the movie, we see Lucy and Susan back in London, and immediately they intervene to stop a street fight in which Peter is at the center. Edmund bounces in to save him, and in the aftermath of their fight, Peter catches us up: “It’s been a year. How long does he expect us to wait?”

“I think it’s time to accept that we live here. It’s no use pretending any different.”

It’s like they’ve started to question the life they experienced in Narnia . . . and then the magic happens: The train station morphs into Narnia. Suddenly they’re throwing off their shoes and splashing in the turquoise waters of their favorite world. We see them explore the ruins of Car Paravel, the world they knew and loved, and at once we too are back inside the adventure. The next few scenes reach back to the past and build on the present—establishing their royalty, their skills, and their noble goal: save Narnia.

Widen the cast. Shortly after Peter and gang return to Narnia, we meet the “new players”: Prince Caspian’s evil uncle, King Miraz (who also jumpstarts the plot by raising the herald against the Narnians), and of course, we’ve already met Prince Caspian in the first scene. We also meet the starring Narnian (Trumpkin). Widening the cast not only allows the principals to interact with a new set of villains, but it allows them to deepen as they discover new conflict. Also, it lets us readers/viewers fall in love with a new set of characters—ones who can continue on in the series (e.g. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader).

Build on victories and defeats in previous books. Peter and his siblings soon realize that something nasty is afoot in Narnia. Car Paravel is in ruins, Aslan is missing, some of the animals no longer talk, and the land is troubled. The royal line (Prince Caspian) and the existence of Narnia is at stake (bringing up, by the way, the question about the beginning: “It’s no use pretending”), all the victories the kings and queens of Narnia accomplished—freeing Narnia from the witch and establishing peace—have been destroyed, and now they must repair the mess they left behind and save the world once again. Only, this time, it seems as if they’re in it alone because Aslan is nowhere to be found. And Narnia is worse off for having experienced peace and then losing it. A sequel must build on the past and raise a new problem as a result of it.

New Lessons for our favorite people. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Edmund acts as the chief character of change as he betrays the others for a piece of Turkish delight. It is his faith (or lack thereof) that is revealed and tested. However, Prince Caspian focuses on High King Peter and his struggle with the loss of his noble identity. He longs to be the adult, the king, the leader he’d been in Narnia, and we the start his journey in the train station when in a burst of frustration he says, “Don’t you get tired of being treated like a child?” In a good sequel, especially with a “team” of people, the principal character change must happen with the known, favorite characters. Sure, we care about Prince Caspian, and his rise to kingship is compelling, but it is Peter we are rooting for because we already know and love him, because we already identify with him, and for us, this trip to Narnia is about him. When we see him become the leader he once was, and he defeats King Miraz, both in battle and in morals, we see that he hasn’t been pretending. He is still the High King of Narnia.

A sequel doesn’t have to be a shadow of its predecessor. It can, in fact, build on the world and the characters already created and whet the reader’s/viewer’s appetite for number three!

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Indy and the Great Promise by Susan May Warren

This Manuscript Monday Susan May Warren continues her series "Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters." Welcome back, Susan.

Indy and the Great Promise:
A study of the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
by Susan May Warren

...who can argue with the magic of Connery and Ford as father and son...

I’ll never forget the first time I met Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Fresh from the Stars, Han Solo—um, er, Indy was exactly my kind of hero—a little bit arrogant, a little bit unassuming, a whole lotta cute, and best of all, he was searching for the ark of the covenant. In an age when most people still knew their Sunday school dogma, it was a quest worth investing in. And the premise, keeping the most holy of artifacts out of the hands of an evil empire—the Nazis—well, right there the franchise became a classic.

But Indy two—remember it? I didn’t think so. Sure, we all went, hoping for a continuation of the fun from Raiders, but in the Temple of Doom, what we got was a dark, mystical, creepy quest in the Far East, where Indy suddenly begins to speak a different language when muscled and sweaty priests try to rip his heart from his chest. I hated it.

Thankfully, the franchise took the clues and ended the trilogy with the formula that worked: Indy going after the relics of our faith in the Last Crusade, my personal favorite (who can argue with the magic of Connery and Ford as father and son?).

Another hit, and it revived the magic of the Indy Chronicles.

Fast forward a couple decades and the old believers still love Indy. Yet, it’s time for a new guard. So, Indy is revived, and still looking good, despite a few years on him, enters the screen the same old arrogant, lip-curling rebel, this time taking on the Russians. (And, as a gal who lived in Russia, I can tell you that the accents are good!)

They bring Indy to the warehouse to find some mummified remains, during which we experience the good old Indy, battling his way out of danger through fast footwork and not a little luck. Better, we even see the ark, a nod to the past for Raiders fans.

We’re off to a great start with Indy teaching at college, quickly followed by a great escapade, where he meets his soon-to-be replacement, Shia LaBeouf, who of course has a map and a mystery. Old fans and new settle back for a great new quest.

Until Indy and Jr. head to South America . . . and the Indiana franchise reverts to the Temple of Doom mode. Veering away from the Judeo-Christian history of unearthing religious artifact, suddenly Indy’s entering the realm of the mystical. Psychic powers and strange magnetic fields and visitors from outer space.

The problem isn’t the subject matter—it’s the promise. See, Indy made us a promise in the first movie that he cared about the roots


And that’s when half the audience begins to go out for popcorn.

of our society—particularly the Judeo-Christian past. He proved that he’d save our beliefs from the clutches of evil. And our forgiving him for the crazy adventure in the Temple of Doom paid off in the Last Crusade.

However, now he’s got us chasing after aliens who suck out brains through our eyeballs, and, well, we’re not sure what to think.

I’m not against brain-sucking aliens, mind you. If it were Mulder and Scully in the X-Files sure, I’m game, because I know what to expect. They’re into visitors and creepy things from other planets. And frankly, I’m a big Smallville fan. But Indy, well, some of us in the old guard walked out of the theater feeling a little betrayed.

Really, Indy, do you believe in crystal-skulled aliens?

I know the producers were probably buying into the alien/psychic–crazed culture, wanting to grab an audience that could fall in love with Shia as Indy Junior. And I dig that . . . in fact here’s my edit: What if Shia was the one who believed . . . and Indy simply played along? Then at least Indy would still be that guy who might just be a little like us, the people who fell in love with him back in the day when church and pot-roast on Sundays were still a way of life. Now, we’re not sure what to think of Indy . . . has he lost his mind, whacked one too many times with his bullwhip? Or did we never really know him?

The point is to remember your audience and the value system of your hero from book to book. Because you made a promise to your readers about what they can expect from your hero, what he believes in, and what he’ll die for. And breaking that promise could cost you your loyal fans.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

Flawed Plotting: the Secrets of National Treasure by Susan May Warren

Happy Manuscript Monday everyone. Susan's back with some craft focus on how characterization affects plotting. Please welcome her back to Seriously Write as she continues her fantastic series.

Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters Series
Flawed Plotting: The Secrets of National Treasure
by Susan May Warren

When you’re plotting a book, think about the character flaws . . .

When I plot a book, I always start with a hero’s greatest dreams and greatest fears. Getting to the bottom of what my character dreads the most is a great way to develop the ultimate black moment.

But it’s not the only way. What if, in fact, you started with a character’s greatest FLAWS…and wrapped the black moment and the entire plot around your Character’s foibles? This is exactly the kind of plotting technique used in one of my favorite series of movies – National Treasure. And most specifically, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets.

Benjamin Gates. National Hero. Treasure Hunter, Historian and adventurer. He’s a guy with a long family history, and a firm belief in the secrets of our country. But Benjamin has a few flaws.

First, he has an overabundance of family honor. It’s a classic case of “Pride goeth before the fall.” Not saying that a person shouldn’t have pride in one’s family, but Ben’s so convinced of his family’s honor that he’s certain his great grandfather could never have planned the assassination of President Lincoln. This family pride conspires to drive him into proving the innocence of his family name. Like he says to his father, “We’re crazy, but we’re not liars.”

But Ben is also convinced that his always right, and believes that no one can solve the case but him. This flaw, at the onset of the movie, has driven his girlfriend crazy and caused him to be kicked out of the house. Of course, he needs her security pass to examine some evidence, so he breaks into her house. And then, when caught, he convinces her to let him examine the diary page that convicted his great grandfather of plotting the assassination, because of course, he can’t trust her (or anyone) to do it but himself. Because, they might miss a vital clue.

Of course, he’s….right.

Which leads to a further flaw used to plot the story. Benjamin Gates is highly suspicious of everything – which means he’s not going to settle for the obvious. He believes in the myths and the conspiracy theories which drive him to probe deeper into every mystery, and it’s this flaw that uncovers the cipher on the back of the diary page which leads to the next clue.

Benjamin Gates is also under the delusion that he can figure out a way to accomplish just about anything. Like break into the Queens’ Office in Buckingham Palace, or the Oval Office in the White house.

And eventually kidnap the president of the United States.

“Of course someone is after the treasure – it’s the axiom of treasure hunting.” (Thank you Riley, that was my point exactly). All these flaws work together to embroil his family and friends in the search for truth, and they end up, yes, discovering the City of Gold, but at nearly the cost of their lives. The flaws all converge into a final, fatal flaw – a belief that the ends justify the means. That it’s okay to risk life and limb and reputation and love for pride and family honor. And, well, money. The dark moment of truth: it’s not worth it if everyone you love dies, is it?

When you’re plotting a book, think about the character flaws. What kind of issues does your character deal with, and how can they lead him from one bad (or good?) action to the next? How can they converge to bring about the dark moment, and hopefully, an epiphany?

Thankfully, Gates is learning. Like, realizing that he can’t always assume he’s right. And that his stubbornness can lead to disaster. And hopefully, (but probably not, because we need a National Treasure 3) that the ends DON’T justify the means.

Of course, despite his flaws, Gates, has one character strength that balances out all his flaws, all his foibles. A noble belief that truth will win the day, and lead to the treasure.

Yeah, me too.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. See her Web site to learn more about her award-winning fiction.

A Tale of Two Villains: the Dark Knight by Susan May Warren

This Manuscript Monday we're kicking off a new series with award-winning author Susan May Warren: Craft Tips and Techniques from Today's Blockbusters. She'll take movies and help us writers learn new techniques from them. Please welcome this author and friend back to Seriously Write.

Craft Tips and Techniques from Today’s Blockbusters series
A Tale of Two Villains: The Dark Knight
by Susan May Warren

So, a great villain is human . . .

I love Batman. I don’t know why—maybe it’s the cool gadgets, but my fascination started with “Holy Toledo, Batman,” in the fifth grade as I watched Adam West run around in his blue pajamas. Even then, the villains scared me—the Penguin and Catwoman . . . but no one was worse than the Joker. And through the years, he’s only gotten scarier—first through Jack Nickolson’s portrayal in the 1989 version of Batman, and most recently the late Heath Ledger’s amazing performance.

But what makes the Joker so frightening, the quintessential villain? It’s not just his face, or his crazy antics, although they help. No, there is a formula to every epic villain and the Joker nails it.

First, however, let’s find out what makes a villain.

“Holy super-villain, Batman! Is that a list?”

1. A great villain is Human, a little bit like us. He wants what we want, or has been through what we’ve been through. For example, the sad (but untrue) story the Joker in The Dark Knight tells one of his victims about being abused by his father makes us, just for a second, feel for the sick, deranged Joker. Says our favorite caped crusader: “Criminals are complicated . . . we just need to find out what they’re after.”

2. Except when they’re just a bit Eccentric. Weird. Creepy. Like the Joker’s scars, and his propensity to lick his lips, play with his hair, wield his knife to etch smiles into his victims’ faces. As wise Alfred says, “Maybe you don’t fully understand him.” Or, maybe we don’t want to!

3. Especially since we don’t have to understand him to fear him. A great villain is Believable. We know he’ll do what he says. Like the Joker videotaping and killing Batman look-alikes.

4. A good villain also Goes after People in Power —like the Joker taking out the judge and commissioner. They don’t stop at the little people, they aim for the Big Dogs.

So, a great villain is human, he’s creepy, he’s believable, he’s taking out the power players, and then he is . . .

5. Tricky. A great villain can find his way into private places . . . like a meeting of the Mafia minds, or Bruce Wayne’s penthouse party. Nowhere is safe.

6. And it’s not enough that he can find anyone anywhere, but he does Big Ticket Crimes, like commandeering a semi and taking on a SWAT convoy. A great villain doesn’t let a daunting thing like a police escort or a heavily armed building detour him. He thinks BIG.

7. Because he’s also Indestructible. He walks away unscathed from terrible crashes and flying bullets. Like the Joker, walking away from said semi flipping over onto its back.

8. Most of all, a great villain Taunts Death. He seemingly doesn’t care about being defeated, even about dying. A great villain seems fearless before his own demise.


The Dark Knight allows us the perfect opportunity to apply our list of Great Villain elements and compare villains. In a surprise twist, Two-Face appears to finish the movie.

So, let’s see how Two Face stacks up against the Joker.

1. Human? Yep, Two Face has lost the woman he loves, and we understand his motivation for hating the people who killed her.

2. Creepy? Take one look at his face, and you can’t deny he’s got the Joker on the creepy scar scale.

3. He’s also a bit Eccentric with his coin flipping.

4. But will he kill people? Yep, Two Face tracks down a bad cop, and point-blank takes him out. He’s Believable.

5. And Two Face has developed Tricky track-down skills. He’s found the mobster responsible for freeing the Joker.

6. Then he becomes Indestructible when he survives a car crash that kills the mobster.

7. Two Face even Taunts Death, putting the gun to his head, ready to let the flip of the coin decide his fate at the end when he is deciding whether to take out Batman and Commissioner Gordon.

So, who wins the war of the Two Villains?

Without a doubt, the Joker. Because while Two Face has all the ingredients of a great villain, his motives are sane, even understandable: revenge.

The Joker however has no motives.

“Some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn,” Alfred says about the Joker. He kills to kill. He destroys to destroy.

And that’s the scariest villain of all.

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a boutique fiction editing service for writers, and runs A Writer’s Blog. Join her and 300 other voices to write a book online in 2009 – Blog a Book with www.MyBookTherapy.com!