Anne Shirley Says 'Wassup, Marilla?'

I eavesdrop on conversations. Like the two girls sitting behind me right now.

“I know, I like totally backed into pole. That thing on the bottom that runs across the car was like so smashed up, and my boyfriend didn’t even warn me I was going to hit it. I mean, what good is he if he’s just sitting there and doesn’t even say a word?”
“Chah, I know, boyfriends aren’t what they used to be.”
“I just don’t know where this is all going with him, if he’s going to be so…inattentive.” 

“Chah, I know. Good word, inattentive.” 

“I feel like I do all the work, you know, and he just sits there, not warning me of anything.”

The two guys sit across the aisle. 

“Hey.”
“Sup?”
“Eh.”
“Yeah.”
“So….”
Quiet for five seconds or ten minutes, then, “Dude, check it out.” He motions with his shoulder out the window. A young blond pulls up in a yellow Camaro.
“Gas mileage?”
“Ten, sometimes fifteen per mile.”
“Ugh.”
“Yeah.”
“My cousin Johnny was working on his brakes once, and saw a blah blah blah blah….”
I drummed the conversation out.

Writing preachers proclaim dialogue is not how people speak in real life but how we wish we could speak.

That’s cool, I guess. But I’ve got to tell you, more important than sounding like characters who have stepped off the set of an Errol Flynn movie is this—content is king. Writers bore readers all the time with gorgeous dialogue.

Here’s the key: Know your reader.

Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt doesn’t pull his buddy aside to talk about a growing feeling of loneliness that’s been haunting him since raising the Titanic and now he’s thinking of quitting because he’s found himself in a love triangle and can’t decide which girl to chose because they’re opposites and here’s how they’re different, and he’s getting away to a beach to think because he needs to clear his mind, and hey, buddy, want to split a cinnamon roll and get a London Fog half caff soy half sweet? Readers of action simply don’t care.

Equally off-putting would be Anne Shirley saying, ‘Wassup, Marilla?’ As a reader, I’m pleading with Anne to chatter for pages, and I’m loving EVERY WORD.

Simply put, when I pick up a romance—which I do often believe it or not—men don’t sound like men. I don’t want them to. Even as a male myself, I’m trying to escape the mindless facts that connect to nothing but are sometimes interesting, depending on how smart or good-looking he is. Instead, I’m reading dialogue that directly touches on his relationships….and I’m okay with that. I know the readers.

And when I pick up an action book, I’m looking for info dumps on red algae and how it’s destroying the world, and which scientist the hero is going to have to defend so she can save the world and they hook up for two pages and boom...romance done.

Keep in mind as you write dialogue that content is king, and to make your work sing, know your reader. 

Hey, while you're here, want to split a gluten free maple bacon cinnamon roll with black iced tea half sweet peach and vanilla?

~~~~~

Peter Leavell is an award winning historical fiction author. He and his family research together, creating magnificent adventures. Catch up with him on his website at www.peterleavell.com, or friend him on Facebook: 

Peter R. Leavell.

~~~~~

Writing Dialogue that Breathes by Debby Mayne

Debby Mayne

Dora here. Do you struggle with writing dialogue? I confess... some days are easier than others, so I appreciate these tips by Debby Mayne. Next week she will be back with three more tips to write compelling dialogue, so be sure to pop back by. Enjoy! ~Dora

One of the key components to a successful story is dialogue, so spend some time working on improving the skill of writing it. Most newbie fiction authors struggle with dialogue at first, but after you find the groove, you'll look forward to the next conversation between your characters. I've judged quite a few writing competitions, and one of the things that I look for is compelling dialogue.

In my opinion, strong dialogue is the foundation of a compelling, character-driven story. I use it to drive my plot, and the scenes typically flow much more smoothly when my characters take over. I've been amazed and entertained by what comes out of my story people's mouths.

Listen
Next time you're out among people, zip your lips and just listen. I'm the biggest eavesdropper out there, but I think it's one of the reasons my dialogue has improved over the years. Pay attention to various scenarios. A conversation between a mother and her daughter in the fitting room is quite different from a discussion between a husband and wife about where to go for their next vacation.

Use what you learn sparingly. 
Accents are wonderful to add to a story as long as you sprinkle them in. Don't overdo it, though, or you may lose your reader who gets bogged down trying to figure out what the character is saying. Most people have back-and-forth interaction with occasional interruptions. When writing dialogue, it's fine to add some of this, but remember that the written word needs to make more sense than a live conversation.

Small Talk
Some small talk is fine, but omit all but the most essential conversation that drives the story forward. When people greet each other, they often spend several minutes saying insignificant things that you should condense in order to hold your readers' interest. After a brief greeting among your characters, get to the interesting part.

Backstory
Avoid using dialogue to do a backstory dump. Having your characters rehash something that happened in 1985, simply to provide information for the reader, is a sign of someone who doesn't want to go to the trouble of working it into the story in a more natural way. Don't provide too much information all at once in dialogue. Leave your readers wanting more.

Purchase Link

Dixie Belle and Uptown Belles series Blurb 

In Dixie Belle, book one of the Uptown Belles series, sparks fly when Cissy Hillwood arrives in New York City from her Alabama hometown and meets her uncle’s fiercest competitor.

SERIES DESCRIPTION: In this fish-out-of-water contemporary romance series, three Southern belles living and working in New York City develop a friendship based on their fondness and homesickness for the South. Although they’re different from each other in many ways, they share a love for the South and faith in Christ. And they each fall victim to Cupid, one at a time and when they least expect it. At least they have each other for venting, laughing with, and…shopping.

Debby Mayne has published more than 30 books and novellas, 400 print short stories and articles, more than 1,000 web articles, and a slew of devotions for women. She has also worked as managing editor of a national health magazine, product information writer for HSN, a creative writing instructor for Long Ridge Writers Group, and a copy editor and proofreader for several book publishers. For the past eight years, she has judged the Writers Digest Annual Competition, Short-Short Contest, and Self-Published Book Competition. Three of Debby’s books have been top ten favorites by the Heartsong Presents book club. Love Finds You in Treasure Island, Florida received 4-1/2 stars and was named a "Top Pick" by Romantic Times Magazine. Her latest book, Dixie Belle, is the first in the Uptown Belles series published by Charisma House.

We All Talk–But Writing Dialogue is Tricky by James R. Callan

Let's welcome James R. Callan back to Seriously Write with some tips on writing good dialogue. Enjoy!

We All Talk–But Writing Dialogue Is Tricky

by James R. Callan

Dialogue is deceptive. We all talk, so there is a tendency to believe dialogue is easy and presents no problems.

Not true.

Writing good, engaging dialogue takes care, patience, and a lot of practice. The topic is too big to cover in this blog. I’ve written an entire book on creating good dialogue. So, let’s just look two aspect of the subject.

Natural dialogue, the conversations you hear and engage in every day, is replete with unnecessary words, information that is redundant, pleasantries that are mostly ignored.

“How are you?”
“I’m fine. And you?”
“Doing well.”

This does not mean that either person is doing well. It’s just how we start a conversation.

Here’s an example of a piece of a normal, natural conversation. Ann meets her friend Mary.

“Hi, Mary. How’re you doing?”
“Good. And you?”
“Things are great.”
“Glad to hear that. Been to any good movies recently?”
“No. Too busy getting the kids ready for school.”
“Oh, it is getting close to that time of year, isn’t it.”
“Too close; too fast.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Have you seen Joan lately? I’ve called and gone by and I never can catch her.”

There’s a typical conversation between two women meeting at the post office. In fact, what we want to get to is that Joan is missing. The novel dialog should start where we want to be.

“Hi, Mary. Have you seen Joan lately? I’ve called and gone by and I never can catch her.”

We move the plot along. We don’t waste the reader’s time. We don’t slow down the pacing. We improve the novel. So, in dialogue, cut the fat. Be ruthless. Whack out what doesn’t either move the plot along or improve the reader’s understanding of a character.

The second point is, with all deference to English teachers, do not be tied to complete sentences. Many people leave out words. Sometimes a pronoun. Sometimes a verb. And other words as well. Of course, this depends on who is talking. Now, if the speaker is a professor of English, probably everything he says comes in perfectly formed sentences. Most people leave out a few words. And some characters would be perfectly at home leaving out many words.

Example:
“John, will you come here, please.”
“Sure. What you want?”
“I need someone to move with extreme care this antique table. I am unable to move it myself.”
“Too heavy for ya?”
“Yes. I’m afraid I might damage it if I tried to move it.”
“Not for me.”

Here we have one character using perfect English, and the other character leaving out subject and verb, using incomplete sentences, violating many grammar rules. But it’s okay. It happens in dialogue and reflects the educational level of the character.

Let me emphasize this point. It is not only okay, but desirable, because it helps define the character.

And most important, you must listen to your dialogue. Read it aloud. Listen to how it sounds. Does it reflect your characters? If not, redo it.

~~~~~

About the author:

After a successful career in mathematics and computer science, receiving grants from the National Science Foundation and NASA, and being listed in Who’s Who in Computer Science and Two Thousand Notable Americans, James R. Callan turned to his first love—writing.  He wrote a monthly column for a national magazine for two years, and published several non-fiction books.  He now concentrates on his favorite genre, mystery/suspense, with his fifth book released in 2013.

About the book:

When the Sweet Adelines International Barbershop Competition brings Tina's chorus to San Antonio, she kicks back. For a week, she can forget about her career as a police officer. Time for fun, glitz, and as much a cappella singing as she wants-and she wants to hear it all. Who knows, there may even be four winners' crowns for their local quartet! But when two members die singing "Mister Sandman" in front of the Alamo, Tina discovers that bullets and barbershop are anything but a harmonious combination. Although police work was the last thing on her mind, Tina sifts through racks of sequined costumes and whispered gossip, desperate to discover who might want the lead and bass singers dead. Could it be the protesters who hate that the Sweet Adelines turned the Alamo into a theater backdrop? The rival quartet that lost a contract because of their group? The director with a reputation as a ladies' man and a bad habit of poaching the best singers? As the notes and the stakes rise higher, it becomes obvious that the killer has more on his mind than a song, and Tina may be next in the crosshairs.

Learn more about James here:

www.jamesrcallan.com

www.jamesrcallan.com/blog

Amazon Author Page: http://amzn.to/1eeykvG

  

Random Thoughts & Ideas to Spark Your Fiction Writing By Creston Mapes

A friend sent me six pages of his new novel. He wanted to get my feedback. I don’t have time to do this much anymore, but I owed him. I read the first six pages of his first attempt at fiction without taking any notes. Then I stuffed it in a book and am still letting it simmer.

Here’s what I need to tell him, and I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and share some of these insights with you, too.

• The story needs to begin right in the middle of an intriguing, tension-filled moment. Pick right up smack dab in the middle of the situation. Back story can come later, if at all. Who the characters are can come later. What they look like can come later. You must quarantine the reader in the first few pages of the book or you’ve lost him.
  
  On about page four of my friend’s manuscript, there was finally some dialogue and some conflict. “That is where his book needs to start!” I said aloud. The details can come later! His first four pages were all back story. Granted, those pages included a bunch of good ideas and it will all make for a good book. But all of that back story needs to be shown, not told, as the story unfolds. That brings me to my next point.
  
• Please, please, show and do not tell, because if you tell, no serious fiction editors are going to want to publish your book. This might take you awhile to learn, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes habit.
  
  Which gives the reader a better, more vivid and emotional picture of what the character is doing and feeling:
  
  He was nervous and thought about just leaving.
  
  Or…
  
  He drummed his fingers on the table, checked his watch and scanned the room to see if anyone would notice if he disappeared.
  
  The later shows. The former tells.
  
  The whole book needs to show. Just work a sentence at a time, showing. Soon you’ll have the hang of it. And keep adding new things. Don’t just keep rehashing the same old plot. Keep the story alive with new twists and turns that put readers on the edge of their seats.
  
  As for the back story you wanted to include right up front…much of that can be woven in later, throughout the manuscript, as you are showing the reader what happens, like a mesmerizing movie on the big screen.
  
• Write from one point of view (POV) at a time.
  
  I need to tell my friend that he needs to choose one character and to write from that character’s POV for the entire scene or chapter, then switch to another character’s POV. It’s as if you are that character and you are standing behind a video camera. You can see and hear what’s going on around you, but you cannot read other peoples’ minds. You can only write about what you see and hear and what you taste and smell.
  
  There will be more than one POV character. In the novel I’m writing now, I’m writing different scenes and chapters from the POV of 5-7 different characters. It’s a whole lot of fun getting into the mind of a bossy female antagonist, or in the head of an unsuspecting villain, or in the POV of a modern day hero. Again, get POV down and you’ll have mastered one of the top requirements in writing publishable fiction.
  
• Avoid clichés.
  
  Create unique names. Some of the favorites in my novels have included Everett Lester, Twila Yonder, Zane Bender, Gray Harris, Chester Holte, Hudson Ambrose, and Granger Meade. This is important. It sets your book and characters apart.
  
  Create unique storylines. If it’s been done too often and we can predict what’s going to happen, as they say in the Bronx, forgetaboutit! When you’re at a turning point in the book, think up five to seven options of what could happen, and choose the most flabbergasting one! Remember, tension on every page is what you want to keep pulling the reader along with you!
  
• Don’t write too much.
  
  I’ve passed my 500 word limit!

I hope you’ll read my thrillers and connect with me via my website, Twitter or Facebook.

About the Author

Creston Mapes is the author of Fear Has a Name, Nobody, Dark Star, and Full Tilt. A journalist, copywriter, and editor, he works from his home-office in Atlanta for some of the nation’s top media companies, Christian ministries, and nationally-recognized corporations. His early years as a reporter inspire many of his novels. Creston studied journalism at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, and began his writing career 30 years ago. 

How Far Would He Go To Keep Them Safe?

It was more than a break-in. More than a stalking. It was personal. When a stalker targets his family, journalist Jack Crittendon must uncover who the person is and what his motives are—if he is to protect the ones he loves. It will lead Crittendon into a world of behind-closed-door secrets and faith gone awry, as does his investigation of a missing pastor, whose apparent suicide is more than it appears. Each move Crittendon makes weaves him tighter and tighter into a web of lies, greed, hypocrisy, sin, and danger. He believed he’d never give in to feareHAnd it leads to. But that was before. And holding on to his faith won’t be easy. Nor will keeping his family safe, and ending the terror. Because that might require him to step over lines he never dared to cross.

www.CrestonMapes.com

www.Twitter.com/CrestonMapes

www.Facebook.com/Creston.Mapes

The Power of Polish, Part 3 by Anita Higman

Hey everyone, Annette here. We have Anita Higman back with us today to finish her series on self-editing. To see the earlier posts, click here and here. I don't know about you, but this series is good timing for me as I'm currently editing one of my manuscripts. There are so many elements we fiction writers have to keep in mind, it's helpful to use checklists in the editing stage and who better to trust for said checklist than a multi-published writer? Happy (self-)editing, friends!

The Power of Polish, Part 3

by Anita Higman

• When my character presents a potent line of dialogue, do I use it later to make an arc that is memorable and effective?
• Do I have a sagging middle that’s in need of a few tummy tucks of story tension?
• Did I succumb to the temptations of authorial intrusion?
• Do my characters make gestures that reflect their personalities, and are those gestures fresh and unique? Or are my characters engaged in too much shrugging, sighing, lip chewing, nodding, brow furrowing, arm crossing, throat clearing and head shaking?
• If I’ve added humor to my novel, does it fit the characters, and does it flow with the rest of the work?
• Do the elements of faith happen naturally in the story, or did I toss in some prayer and Scripture to make it sound Christian?
• Are the themes in my story memorable and effective?
• Are the character’s thoughts interesting and necessary, or are they merely repeats of what the character is saying?
• Do I have an overall story arc that is clear and memorable?
• Did I create a satisfying ending, or is it too predictable and rushed because I’m tired of the story?
• Have I read the work out loud to catch the errors that might be more obvious when heard rather than seen?

I hope these excerpts from the mini-version of my checklist are helpful in all your novel-polishing endeavors.

Texas Wildflowers anthology

*****

Romance is in full bloom for four McBride sisters living in Texas. A jilted Rosy goes home to Galveston to nurture her broken heart. Will she find the courage to love again? Lily has just opened a Christian counseling business. Will an eccentric client cause her to break the most solemn of vows? Violet runs a business that shows people how to live romantically. Will a quirky geek teach her the real meaning of love? Heather’s perfectly planned life has just come undone. Will an unexpected date give her the courage to let go—in life and love?

CBA bestselling and award-winning author, Anita Higman, has over thirty books published (several coauthored) for adults and children. She’s been a Barnes & Noble “Author of the Month” for Houston and has a BA degree, combining speech communication, psychology, and art. Her latest books are A Merry Little Christmas (Guideposts/Summerside Press) and Where God Finds You (Standard Publishing). Anita loves good movies, exotic teas, and making brunch for her friends. Please visit her online at www.anitahigman.com.

(paperback)        (e-book)

Order

Hey readers, Annette here on our final Grammar Wednesday. Watch for Ocieanna's return next week. We're excited!

Today let’s talk about order.

As an editor, I see the issue of order come up often. What do I mean?

Three hints: It’s something you read all the time in published books. If you’ve ever written dialogue, you’ve probably done it. And it’s sort of against the rules.

Note that last point. It is sort of against the rules. Other editors will disagree that it’s a problem, hence all the published books with this infraction. Ahem, I mean preference. ;)

So, consider my advice, but know your publisher will have their own position on this order issue.

So, what is it? See if you can find it in the following sentence.

Carol tightened her hold on the doorknob and said between clenched teeth, “I don’t care if they did say they’d take care of it. That’s your job. Now, get it done!”

Did you see it? Let me fix it and then maybe it’ll stand out more.

Carol tightened her hold on the doorknob. “I don’t care if they did say they’d take care of it,” she said between clenched teeth. “That’s your job. Now, get it done!”

Now it makes more sense, right? It’s the “said” before what was said.

Worse, is when the author writes how something sounded before it sounded. Like:

Carol softened her tone, “I can see your point. Just be sure it gets done.”

OR

Carol softened her tone. “I can see your point. Just be sure it gets done.”

The mention of Carol’s softened tone should occur after she speaks. You can’t tell us how something sounded before it sounds. (Please forgive my mixing of tenses there; that is what I meant to do.) So, the better way to say it is:

“I can see your point.” Carol softened her tone. “Just be sure it gets done.”

Make sense?

Now that I’ve brought this to your attention, you’ll probably see this order issue everywhere, and it may even become a pet peeve. Sorry about that. ;)

Write on, but don't forget about order.

Don't Let This Happen To You: Dialogue Tips by Kay Marshall Strom

Hi, readers! We hope you had a great Independence Day. This Manuscript Monday Kay Marshall Strom has graciously agreed to let us post her blog article on dialogue. Here’s the original link. Enjoy!

Don’t Let This Happen to You: Dialogue Tips
by Kay Marshall Strom

“Write good dialogue,” she said.

I just got a message from an excited writer eager to tell me all about the novel she’s writing. “My greatest fear was the dialogue,” she wrote. “I was afraid I couldn’t make it realistic enough. But I stumbled onto a secret. I’m hiding my tape recorder in the house so I can capture real talk.”

Um… unh-uh.

See, the aim isn’t really to write “real talk.” In real talk, we say such things as:

“Hey, guess what! I just got back from the… what’s it called… um… oh, I hate getting old! That place where we had your brother’s birthday deal, remember? Over by the apple place? Anyhoo, I thought I saw Micky. So funny after what happened that other time. Last year, you know… You were there. It was so hot and windy and that funny guy who sells the….”

No, the aim is to give the illusion of real talk while you actually accomplish something important such as moving your story forward or revealing a character or showing an incident rather than simply telling about it. The illusion of dialogue might say something like:

“Hey, I just got back from Gray’s Farm. I thought I saw Micky, but after what happened last year, it can’t be!”

Writing good dialogue is an art. (Okay, that dialogue isn’t so good, but you get the idea.) If you do dialogue well, it will add great strength to your work–non-fiction as well as fiction.

So what can you do to help your characters speak well? I’m so glad you asked! Here are some dialogue-polishing pointers I call: ”Don’t let this happen to you.”

• Unnatural Dialogue: “You’re crazy, Justin!” said Megan. “Look who’s talking, Megan,” Justin replied. When we talk to people, we hardly ever say their names. Yet the tendency in dialogue is to repeatedly address our characters by name. Don’t. Better: “You’re crazy!” said Megan. ”Look who’s talking,” Justin replied.

• Over-descriptive dialogue: Too many adjectives and adverbs give a fake, amateurish feel to your writing, and dialogue is no exception. “When I gazed upon the snowy-white petals of the lilies, so like winter’s icy coat of velvet, I knew Louie’s love for me was at an end,” she murmured tragically. Choose your adjectives carefully and sparingly. Make certain each one is worth its presence. Be even more stingy with your adverbs. Much better to let your sentence set the emotion than tack instructions on at the end. Better: “When I saw the white lilies, I knew what they meant; Louie no longer loved me,” she murmured.

• Lectures or soliloquies: “You will be taking the driving test next week,” Mother said. “All the days of practice, all the hours of study, all the mistakes and all the do-overs will come into play when you sit down behind the steering wheel, take off the parking brake, and put the car in gear. Take a deep breath, my dear daughter, and clear your mind of everything but the test. I know you can do this.” Long speeches grow stale very quickly. Don’t try to pack too much information into a passage. Dialogue isn’t the place to display all the research you did, either. Nor should you use it to sneak in “And the moral of this story is…” Better: “You will be taking the driving test next week,” Mother said. “You’re ready. I know you can do it.”

• Exposition: “I happened to run into your sister Julia, the one who married the doctor, Tim, from Peru, and who has the three children–Luisa, Freddie, and Lizzie. She was telling me that your mother moved to an eight-bedroom mansion on the tip of Florida where she lives among writers.” Oh, my! Please, do not have your characters tell each other what they already know just for the sake of letting your readers in on it. If you want us to know that kind of information, give it to us in narrative form. Better: I had wanted to hear the words from Sarah‘s mouth. Her sister Julia was in town with, Tim–her doctor husband from Peru– and their children. Julia had talked on and on about her mother’s eight-bedroom mansion on the tip of Florida, and all her writer neighbors. When I finally saw Sarah, I said, “I talked to Julia.”

• Unnecessary Dialogue: “Frank, this is my good friend, Jean. Jean, this is my neighbor from up the street, Frank. I thought it would be nice for the two of you to have a chance to shake hands and at least say hello to each other.” If the dialogue has no real purpose, leave it out. Dialogue that fills the page and simply serves to bide time succeeds only in slowing your story down and boring your reader. Better: She introduced Jean and Frank to one another.

• Repetitious Dialogue: All day, Marianne had been busy painting the room. She paused when Philip entered. “I’m painting,” she told him. She lifted her blue brush high. “Blue,” she said. Tell us in the narrative or tell us in the dialogue, but don’t do both. Better: Marianne had been busy painting the room. She paused when Philip entered. “Blue,” she said, holding her brush high.

• Sugary-Sweet Dialogue: “Oh, Mother, the dinner is delicious, as always. Brother, dear, please pass me more of the wonderful potatoes,” little Francine said. You say you have to be extra nice because you are writing about your own family? And you don’t want anyone to look bad? So you just add an extra touch of the positive and pare off anything that could be interpreted as negative? Your readers won’t believe a word of it! Better: “Eat your dinner, Francine,” mother said. “Starving children around the world would be glad to have those mashed potatoes!”

• Creative Attributions: “Don’t talk back,” he coughed. First of all, attributions must be other ways of speaking. People cannot cough words–or smile them or laugh them or sneeze them, for that matter. Second, plain old said and asked and answered are far more serviceable than more creative options, such as queried or extrapolated or implored. Third, look for opportunities to use an action in lieu of any attribution. Better: Franklin’s face went livid. “Don’t talk back!”
Okay, that’s my ”get started” list. Any dialogue hints you want to add?

~~~~~~
Coming in October, 2010: The Voyage of Promise

She is safe, and she is free . . . but she is still alone.

Slavers burst into Grace Winslow's life with guns blazing and tear her family apart forever. She watches in anguish as her husband is led in chains aboard a tightly packed slave ship bound for America. An old enemy has a more sinister plan for Grace and prepares her for a different kind of servitude in London. But Grace will not be enslaved. And she will not give up on the man she loves. In her determination to be reunited with her husband, she finds God reaching out to her.

~~~~~~

Kay Marshall Strom is the author 36 published books. Her writing credits also include numerous magazine articles, short stories, curriculum, two prize-winning screenplays, and booklets for writers. For 10 years Kay taught writing classes through the California State University system, during which she designed and directed the Writers Certificate Program for Long Beach State University. Today her writing and speaking take her around the word.

You can learn more by visiting www.kaystrom.com
Blog: http://www.KayStrom.wordpress.com
http://www.vibrantnation.com/our-blog-circle/kay-strom
Twitter: http://twitter.com/kaysblab

Dialogue and the Western Novelist by Stephen Bly

Western writer, Stephen Bly, has returned this Manuscript Monday with advice on dialogue. He narrows down his topic, gearing it toward western writers, but I (Annette) believe you'll find some useful information no matter which genre you write. Enjoy!

Western Lilt: Dialogue of the Western Novelist
By Stephen Bly
Copyright©2010

Speech has rhythm. To write good dialogue, an author must listen to each character’s voice, to discern timing as well as vocabulary.

Every era and region boasts its language and dialect, which can be learned through research or experience. But tone and timing can’t be taught. It’s in your bones . . . or not.

In my newest novel, Cowboy For A Rainy Afternoon, six old cowboys chatting can’t wait for one topic to die before blurting another. I worked to hear the tune of their chatter, the lilt of the lyrics, to produce an authentic, natural flow. And blend the philosophy within the words.

Cowboy Culture

Talk slow and think deep. It’s part of the Code. It’s the way true westerners talked.

These cowboys told their stories often and not the same each time. That’s the beauty of oral history. It’s not a static photograph of the past, but a monologue that percolates, evolves, and sometimes digresses through the memory and heart, by the one who lived it. My task: be true to the characters, yet sympathetic to my readers. Spend a morning near the old-timers booth at the local café and you’ll know what I mean.

In Cowboy For A Rainy Afternoon, I used a lot of classic cowboy terms that have now disappeared. For instance, a phrase often used on a cattle drive was “man at the pot.” Someone at the coffee pot gave a shout-out to indicate he’d fill everyone’s cup.

To cowboys, ‘nobby’ signified fine, expensive clothing. They mention the store Nudies. That’s where Hollywood cowboys and country-western singers bought their fancy boots and rhinestone jackets. I bought a cowboy hat there . . . a plain, beaver felt XXX, size 7 7/8, dark brown Resistol with horsehair hatband . . . for the sake of research.

“You never know the luck of a lousy calf,” one of my favorite cowboy sayings. Healthy, sturdy calves seem to fall off cliffs or get attacked by wolves. It’s the scrawny, worthless ones that survive.

I once stood at the graveside of my rancher uncle. As I looked down at his coffin, an old-timer slid up beside me. “He was a good man, son. He lived by the Code.”

In my novel, Pop would “do to ride the river with.” That’s the highest compliment for a cowboy. Crossing wild rivers with great herds of cattle exposed dangers for man and beast. Not a time to trust your safety to some rookie just learning the ropes. “He’ll do to ride the river with” signified “I’d trust that man with my life.”

Cowboy Faith

Every writer filters their work through a worldview. Mine happens to be Christian. Sometimes that pops through. In Cowboy For A Rainy Afternoon, you’ll find this quote:
“If you feel prodded, Shorty, it’s the shovel of the Lord. He’s diggin’ you up and intends on restorin’ you.”

The narrator’s granddaddy chides his pals with the Gospel. He cares too much to keep silent. He’s hoping that fifty years of friendship and five minutes spouting Jesus will open their eyes.

My suggestion: read Cowboy For A Rainy Afternoon aloud, like around a campfire, to capture the cadence. Then, the characters will start to feel like family. Maybe you weren’t born 100 years too late.

~~~~~

Cowboy For A Rainy Afternoon (hardback, Center Point) will release this month (June 2010). Available through Amazon or www.BlyBooks.com

~~~~~~
More about Stephen Bly:

Married to writer, Janet Chester Bly, 46 years; they’ve co-authored 18 books. Resides in northern Idaho at 4,000 ft. elev., on the Nez Perce Indian Reservation. Father of 3 sons: Russell, Michael, & Aaron. The family includes daughters-in-law, Lois, Michelle & Rina Joye, plus grandkids: Zachary, Miranda (& husband Chris), and Keaton. Third-generation westerner, Steve spent 30 years working family ranches and farms in central California. His hobbies include collecting and restoring Winchesters; studying histories of Old West; doing construction on Broken Arrow Crossing, a false front western village next to his home. He also plays a par game of golf.

* authored and co-authored 102 fiction and nonfiction books,
including historical and contemporary westerns
* Christy Award winner, Westerns, 2002, The Long Trail Home
* Christy Award finalist, Westerns, 2003
* mayor of Winchester, Idaho, pop. 308 (1999-2007)
* pastor of Winchester Community Church
* speaker for men’s and writers’ groups, USA and Canada
* roving editor, Big Show Journal
* mentor, Jerry B. Jenkins Christian Writers Guild
* represented by agent Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
* Interviews and Media Kit available, http://www.blybooks.com/
* Fresno State University, CA, Philosophy, summa cum laude
* M. Div., Fuller Theological Seminary, CA, 1974

Writing Backyard Dialogue by Anita Higman

Please welcome multi-published and award-winning author Anita Higman with her thoughts on dialogue this Manuscript Monday:

Writing Backdoor Dialogue*

My family loves snappy movie dialogue, so we weave bits of it into our conversations. The more inventive we are at making it fit into our banter, the bigger the smiles all around. The snippets we choose are always poignant, witty, sardonic, or dazzlingly clever. Rarely do we take the time to memorize dialogue that's ordinary. In other words, it's never the mundane, repetitious things we say at home or the tedious yak I might produce when eating lunch with a friend. Readers want realistic dialogue, yes, but only to a point. Readers also want to be swept out of the droning, utilitarian chatter of everyday life, and given the opportunity to partake in a Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers kind of word-dance that leaves us a little breathless.

After writing a rough draft, checking dialogue for its effervescent levels is part of my editing phase. I always want to ask these questions. "Has the scene gone flat because the dialogue is boring? Is there a more interesting way for my characters to say this?" I call ho-hum writing, "front door writing" because it just walks right up, knocks on the door, and does exactly what we expect it to do—walk in the front door. But a more unexpected approach, one that sneaks up on us a bit, I call "backdoor writing." And of course, it relates to dialogue as well as writing in general. Here is an example of dialogue from my cozy mystery, Another Hour to Kill. This is the way the scene ended up in the book, and I'm hoping it shows a bit of "backdoor writing."

I looked outside. The Mexican feather grass near my porch dipped and swayed in the gusts like strands of hair. "As I'm sure you know, Houston isn't a very windy place. . .unless there's a storm coming."

"I like a good storm. They're heady and unpredictable." Vlad gazed at me. " ‘O Wild West Wind, thou breath of Autumn's being, Thou from whose unseen presence the leaves dead are driven like ghosts from an enchanter fleeing.' Shelley."

So, he was one of those guys who loved to quote famous dead poets. I fidgeted with my rose, starting to feel uncomfortable and wondering how many women he'd schmoozed into a senseless stupor over the years with his smooth hair and silvery tongue. Probably more than he could keep track of. That was the way with well-designed men. They were like Italian suits in a denim world.

Okay, that is a bit of conversation as well as inner dialogue. Here are some of my reasons for writing it that way.

1. The heroine, Bailey, mentions the storm, because she senses that something ominous is coming—something beyond mere atmospheric conditions. It makes for a moment of foreshadowing.

2. Vlad speaks of loving storms and their unpredictability. This statement reveals some of the wildness and impulsiveness in his nature.

3. I thought having Vlad quote the poet, Shelley, might be a more interesting way for him to comment on the approaching storm. I could have had Vlad say, "The wind sure is picking up outside. Gee, you're right. . .there's a storm coming." First of all, this approach wouldn't have worked since Vlad has a more formal way of speaking, but secondly, it wouldn't have been as interesting or as revealing as the poetry.

4. Also, the Shelley quote gives us more to chew on. It tells us that Vlad is a man who is either putting on airs or is cultured and likes sharing his love for poetry with others. The reader must decide who Vlad really is. And the quote gives us a bit of subtext dialogue, to reinforce the idea that a tempest is coming—one that may have nothing to do with the weather. In addition, the Shelley quote speaks of mystical elements such as ghosts and an enchanter. These are bits of Vlad's personality, so it not only keeps the scene within a gothic framework, but it holds some revelation for the reader concerning Vlad.

The last part of this passage from Another Hour to Kill is merely the internal thoughts of the heroine. Hopefully, I set up the dialogue well enough that it would allow me to make Bailey's head-talk more engaging, enlightening, and possibly amusing.

Novels have the potential to magically sweep us away from everyday life. Encountering this kind of enchanting word-dance in dialogue is something I long for whether I'm at the computer writing a novel or curled up in my den reading one.

Award-winning author, Anita Higman, has twenty-four books published (several coauthored) for adults and children, and she has been honored as a Barnes & Noble “Author of the Month” for Houston. Anita has a B.A. degree, combining speech communication, psychology, and art. Some of her favorite things are exotic teas, going to the movies, and all things Jane Austen. She’d love for you to visit her website at www.anitahigman.com.