Tag--You're It ~Tanya Hanson

I’m ever grateful for the colleague years ago who pointed me to an RWA chapter. Not that I didn't know

writing already, but teaching high school composition is a tad different from writing romance.

Mostly because fiction needs dialogue.

During one RWA chapter session early on, the speaker handed out an entire 8-11 sheet filled with speech tags, those little words that help the reader along during characters’ conversations. The alphabetical list included a million verbs like asked, answered. Anticipated. Articulated...affirmed, begged, bantered.

Chastised, chorused...demanded, dared. Remarked, recited, rebuked...said, stammered, spoke.

You get the picture.

My "first" best editor alerted me that the best tags to use are the simple ones: said, asked.

Well, I have fought for a “drawled” or two since my heroes are usually cowboys. But I do want to stave off too many he said/she saids while keeping clarity. Of course I know full well we need tags to identify the speaker, to keep the reader from getting confused, and to break up long sections. But...

...Most people don’t stand on a stage reciting Shakespearean monologues. They are doing something while they talk to somebody else. They’re driving around town. Emptying the dishwasher, chopping herbs. Even sitting at a table, they’re drinking tea or picking at a finger nail, maybe shuffling their feet. So why not use these physical actions as clues to teach more about our characters and balance out all the said’s and asked’s?

One thing, when a character’s spoken query is clearly punctuated with a question mark, I may not need to use another “asked”. What if the character scratches her head, or wrinkles her forehead instead?

And maybe we can short-cut sometimes. It might work using “He grimaced.” Instead of ...” he said with a grimace.

I personally want to avoid so-called “speech tags” that clearly are actions in themselves with nothing to do with talking. Like grimaced. Belched, laughed, wept. Nodded, sighed. Let’s hear a burp, wipe away tears.

Nope. “I’m so full I could burst,” he belched.

Better: “I’m so full I could burst.” He belched...

She nodded can stand alone, without being punctuated as a speech tag.

“I understand,” she nodded. Nope.

“I understand.” She nodded.

Yup. Run with those possibilities in your own style.

And I've got a pet peeve with “he lied.” Sorry, but that’s the lazy way of informing or reminding a reader of a character’s dishonesty. Let the reader see his face reddening, how he can’t look anyone in the eye.

Oh, and I grind my teeth at animal sounds like She chirped. He barked; she hissed. He roared, she growled. He snarled, she howled.

(Okay, I admit a good hiss can work but puh-leeze, have the S sound in the dialogue!) “I hate you,” she hissed does not work. “You’re a scandalous snob,” she hissed...Yeah.

Of course I use said and asked. And I know she whispered has as much potential as she said softly. But balancing a speech tag with action can grant us writers some variety and invite our readers right into the moment.

What are some versions you can think of for:

“I didn't mean it. It wasn't my fault.....” he said, looking guilty.

A native Californian, Tanya Hanson lives with her firefighter husband on the central coast where they enjoy traveling, good health, and two little grandsons. An award-winning author of both inspirational and secular western romance, she recently released Seeing Daylight, the seventh book in her Hearts Crossing Ranch series featuring the eight siblings of a Colorado ranching family.

www.tanyahanson.com

http://tinyurl.com/pxwg2w7

 A beautiful attorney widowed by a foolhardy man...a successful builder vanquishing guilt over his wife's death. Can they rebuild faith and find love enough to give each other and their kids a happy home together?

Order

Hey readers, Annette here on our final Grammar Wednesday. Watch for Ocieanna's return next week. We're excited!

Today let’s talk about order.

As an editor, I see the issue of order come up often. What do I mean?

Three hints: It’s something you read all the time in published books. If you’ve ever written dialogue, you’ve probably done it. And it’s sort of against the rules.

Note that last point. It is sort of against the rules. Other editors will disagree that it’s a problem, hence all the published books with this infraction. Ahem, I mean preference. ;)

So, consider my advice, but know your publisher will have their own position on this order issue.

So, what is it? See if you can find it in the following sentence.

Carol tightened her hold on the doorknob and said between clenched teeth, “I don’t care if they did say they’d take care of it. That’s your job. Now, get it done!”

Did you see it? Let me fix it and then maybe it’ll stand out more.

Carol tightened her hold on the doorknob. “I don’t care if they did say they’d take care of it,” she said between clenched teeth. “That’s your job. Now, get it done!”

Now it makes more sense, right? It’s the “said” before what was said.

Worse, is when the author writes how something sounded before it sounded. Like:

Carol softened her tone, “I can see your point. Just be sure it gets done.”

OR

Carol softened her tone. “I can see your point. Just be sure it gets done.”

The mention of Carol’s softened tone should occur after she speaks. You can’t tell us how something sounded before it sounds. (Please forgive my mixing of tenses there; that is what I meant to do.) So, the better way to say it is:

“I can see your point.” Carol softened her tone. “Just be sure it gets done.”

Make sense?

Now that I’ve brought this to your attention, you’ll probably see this order issue everywhere, and it may even become a pet peeve. Sorry about that. ;)

Write on, but don't forget about order.