Approaching Readers With Care

Booksigning at the Mall of America in 2008 ACFW members

If you’ve been around a while (Seriously Write celebrates two years this week! Thanks, readers!!), you may have seen my All About the Readers Series. (Click the link for the first post, then use the tags to navigate to the others.) That’s my philosophy, because it helps us keep our focus on ministry and not on ourselves. If we keep readers in the forefront of our minds while we’re writing, we’ll likely speak directly to them as they’re reading. If we’re prayerful, God will speak to them.

As a reader, it’s happened to me. How about you? A passage speaks directly to you as if the author had both read your mail and decided to broadcast it. Of course, they don’t know the words on the page are for you. Whew. You’re safe. J And blessed. God has just met you personally. Through fiction! But we already knew God could use fiction to speak to us, didn’t we?! ;)

We writers will have opportunities to meet with readers beyond when they’re holding our work in their hands. Booksignings, grocery stores, conferences, churches, these are all places to meet with our readers.

So, how do we approach them with care?

~ Listen to your reader. Remember, it’s not about us. Let them share more than you do, unless they ask you a question. Prayerfully watch for ways to bless them or minister to them. Be gracious, hospitable. Set an example.

~ Be yourself. No need to put on airs. There are plenty of unreachable people in the world. Don’t be one of those. Be accessible in that moment, relatable. Readers read to know they’re not alone. So, be friendly, Christlike, compassionate. Let God use you to express His heart to them.

 ~ Respect readers. They’re smart, savvy, gracious, critical, and they make up an army. So, handle them respectfully. We’re all peers.

~ Treat everyone the same. God is no respecter of persons. We shouldn’t be either. This is a tough one. But if we aren’t treating people the same, we’re actually devaluing someone somewhere. And that isn’t Christlike.

So, whether you’re blogging, penning a novel, or socializing, remember to always approach readers with care.           

Approaching People With Care Series: Part III

 Fellow Writers

Approaching People with Care Series

Net's Notations Tuesdays

Recently, I joined several other writers at a well-published author’s home, sharing stories and writing tips. What a treat to fellowship with other writers! We understand each other. But walking into the room, knowing only one other woman there, I was careful how I conducted myself. Later, your Seriously Write hostesses shared lunch to discuss our lives, our hearts, and our hopes. We laughed and related. Such a blessing. We’ve taken the time to cultivate a relationship with each other. We trust each other. We know how to relate with each other, but we still approach each other with care.

I watched an interview lately on DVD where the cast of a show sincerely praised one of their guests as being a nice guy. Everyone readily agreed. If people were to offer a one word descriptor of you in your absence, what would it be?

I can be prompt and current with all my responsibilities, but if I’m abrupt in my interactions, what good is it?

I can be known for keeping my writing deadlines, but if everyone else in my life suffers, have I really succeeded? What about trusting God with what’s on my plate and being gracious to those around me?

What is the one word you’d like people to use in referring to you? Live that word. Is it loving? Genuinely care for people. Is it relatable? Put others above yourself. Is it friendly? Be a friend. Years ago, I desired to be warm. Seeing others exuding grace and warmth baffled me. I’d always had so many guards up, I couldn’t understand how these people so freely, genuinely made others feel secure, just by being warm. Honestly, I’m unsure people would call me warm, even now, but I’m working on it. (By the way, the best way to become something is to study that facet in God’s character. You become what you see.) (2 Corinthians 3:18) To me, warmth is Christ-like, after all, it’s His kindness that leads us to repentance.

We all know the writing life, the writing calling, just as with the Christian life, is one of refining. What areas has God been highlighting in your character? He’s been at work in me in many areas, and it’s funny how they’re all related.

Publishing is a small world. We want to make a positive, Christ-like impression and maintain it. To be consistent with our family, our community and others in the writing world. That way we can approach people intentionally, “care”-fully, lovingly, genuinely. And in that God is glorified. It’s all in our approach to life, to people, to our calling, and to other writers.

  And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us,
         And establish the work of our hands for us;
         Yes, establish the work of our hands.

(Psalm 90:17 NKJV)

Approaching People With Care Series: Part II

 Your Community

Approaching People with Care: Part II

Net's Notations Tuesdays

People are often surprised when they find out what I do, and that’s probably because I don’t usually tell them.

My husband dropped off our youngest at a birthday party recently to hear these words, “I didn’t know your wife was an author. I went to her site and I’m thinking of getting her book.” Aww… I’ve seen this dear fellow mother three days a week for a year. Okay, you could chalk it up to my being an introvert, but it’s also easy not to mention what you do when no one asks.

Then, there are the times I’ve asked others what they do and they’ll tell me, but assume I’m a SAHM (thanks Meredith Efken for the acronym. It stands for Stay At Home Mom). And that’s partly true. So, if they do ever ask, I’ll tell them. Otherwise, let the conversation be about them. That’s cool.

When you interact with local people, what do you talk about? I’m not saying we can’t or shouldn’t mention our careers. Please do. And don’t be ashamed! For a long time, it was difficult for me to say I was a writer. And then when I published some things, it was challenging to “admit” I was an author. People give you strange reactions, am I right? You know it. But when you’re living out your calling, it’s important to do so unashamed. Shame, even when it's a lie, will only hold you back.

So, to return to my point, we’re talking about approaching people with care this month. And last week we discussed caring for editors and agents, remember they’re people too. Our interactions aren’t one-sided, and based in selfish motives. You’ll stand out if you genuinely care for others. Same’s true of conversations within your community. When we serve others, putting others first, we glorify God. So, our writing glorifies God. And our conversation and caring glorify God. That will help people find Him, want Him, seek Him, and perhaps peek at your writing too. See, a win-win-win-win. ;)

It’s all in the approach.

Approaching People With Care Series: Part I

Welcome to a new series on Net’s Notations Tuesdays.

Nod at me if your life is somewhat reclusive. That’s what I thought. Lots of nods. It’s so easy to do—pal around with your computer and never leave home except for the necessary errand days. Am I right?

I wonder if anyone has conducted research to discover whether writers/authors are more often introverts. Most writers I know are.

Then, when we do venture out of our caves—ahem, writing offices—we’re squinting and somewhat unaccustomed to the light. ;) Where do you find social opportunities? Church? Your child’s school? Your day job? Take advantage of those times, and not in ways you might think.

Several years ago, a fellow writer and I knew of an editor we both wanted to pitch to. So we each met with her at a conference and gave it our best shot. She was interested in both of our manuscripts. Shortly after that (if I’m remembering correctly), she was in an accident. The next time we saw her (after about a year) we discovered the news of her accident and that changed our focus. Only my friend got to speak with her in the hubbub of the busy weekend, and she chose wisely—to check in on the woman’s health. The editor was touched. My friend's compassionate approach made a difference. Our projects weren't mentioned, but really, who cares? The editor's health mattered so much more.

So often, we can get in the mode of looking at people like they’re commodities. We might ask ourselves, what can they do for me? Instead, I believe we’re called to care about them as people. Remember, editors, agents, fellow writers, experienced people in the biz (i.e. those who have connections or are gatekeepers) are people first. They have families (generally) and responsibilities and lives and hurts just like we do. Rather than asking what can s/he do for us, we should serve. Believe me, that kind of manner will stand out.

People know if you genuinely care for them. That should be our goal, our heart, our method. God will bring the connections when it’s time. He’ll open the doors for networking. Caring about people will set you apart. As you attend conferences this year, or interact with other writing professionals, consider approaching them with care.