My Unbalanced Life by Mary Connealy

Mary Connealy

I have people ask me how I find time to do all the marketing involved with being an author and still get my books written.

Add in I’ve got a husband who likes some attention, four adult daughters who I love hanging around with, two glorious grandchildren who NEED THEIR GRANDMA!!! A home to maintain and a full time job.

So how do I do it all? Here’s the answer.

I don’t.

When someone asks me how I balance everything I have to admit I am unbalanced. I believe there has been some paperwork filed with the County Attorney to that affect.

Writing isn’t something I find time for. Writing is my default activity. I have to be dragged away from my stories. It’s the rest of my life that I struggle with.

Writers write. That’s what we do. No one can sit alone for hours on end, having imaginary conversations with themselves….if they don’t love it.

When you talk with a writer who is harried and exhausted and under deadline she may worry about getting her book finished but that’s not because she doesn’t love writing, it’s because life intrudes on her book. She has to pull herself away and feed small children. Field emergency phone calls. Pay attention to her husband, very often the man supporting her while she works on her often poorly paying little hobby/job. Walk the whining dog.

And we haven’t even talked about marketing. It’s fun to write blog posts.

I’m having a really good time right now. It’s writing, of course it’s fun. But it takes time. It takes creative energy. And that book is always whispering to you, alive in the back of your head ‘come back. You left your heroine hanging on a cliff by her fingernails. You left your hero heartbroken but too macho to admit he loves the heroine. You left a villain who needs to be arrested and shot and beaten with a big stick.

If the world would just leave a writer alone there would be only peace and harmony (for her at least, heaven help the kids and husband and dog).

I have people say to me A LOT ‘I think I have a book in me.’ Or sometimes, ‘I’ve always wanted to write a book.’

I always say, “You know, write if you have the desire but don’t feel bad if you never get that book written. Sitting alone hour after hour makin’ stuff up isn’t a very normal way to conduct your life and most people just can’t do it. They like human interaction, they like talking to REAL people. They like MOVING.

I tell heartbroken, cruelly rejected authors that if they can’t take the pain then GET OUT. Go do something else. The money is probably better in a career that includes the words, “You want fries with that?”

For the most part, writers can’t stop. The pain and rejection and public humiliation (I’m thinking of One Star Amazon Reviews here) would stop any writer if they could be stopped.

But there is peace in knowing this is how God made me. We just have to accept that. Embrace who we are. Live an unbalanced live with joy—since you can’t stop anyway.

About the Author

About Mary Connealy

Mary Connealy writes romantic comedy with cowboys. She is a Carol Award winner, and a Rita, Christy and Inspirational Reader's Choice finalist. She is the author of Swept Away and Fired Up, Book #1 & #2 in the Trouble in Texas series, Book #3 Stuck Together is coming June 2014. Mary is also in the anthologies A Bride for All Seasons and the newly released, A Match Made in Texas. She is also the author of the bestselling Kincaid Bride series, Lassoed in Texas Trilogy, Montana Marriages Trilogy and Sophie's Daughters Trilogy. Mary is married to a Nebraska rancher and has four grown daughters and two spectacular grandchildren, and one on the way.

A MATCH MADE IN TEXAS

There's a secret matchmaker at work in frontier Texas!

A Match Made in Texas
A Novella Collection

In the small town of Dry Gulch, Texas, a good-hearted busybody just can't keep herself from surreptitiously trying to match up women in dire straits with men of good character she hopes can help them. How is she to know she's also giving each couple a little nudge toward love?

Mary’s book in this collection--Meeting Her Match

When the tables are turned and a tenderhearted meddler becomes the beneficiary of a matchmaking scheme, her world is turned upside down. As her entire life changes, will she finally be able to tell the banker's son how much she cares for him?

Mary's Websites

Seekerville
Petticoats & Pistols
My Blog
My Website
My Newsletter
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryconnealy
Twitter: http://twitter.com/maryconnealy

Why Use A Pseudonym?

Sometimes a writer decides to publish a book under a pen name. One of those writers is best-selling author Mary Connealy. After reading another post Mary wrote, I asked her to repeat her own humorous take on why a writer might want to take this step.

"You publish your historicals under Mary Connealy and your mystery novels under the name Mary Nealy. Besides switching genres, what other reasons might a writer choose to use a pseudonym?" - Sandy

Mary: Hi, Sandy. To answer this question I wrote:

The top ten reasons you might want to publish 

under a pseudonym

10) You write romance and your name isn't romantic. Gertrude Hogg might wanta think about a pseudonym. (Please, Dear Lord God in Heaven don't let any readers of this blog be named Gertrude Hogg) Part 2 of #10, related, because your name is possibly stupid. So Myrtle, you really married a guy named Snarfblatt? Wow, that’s so wonderful. You must be MADLY in love. Pick a pseudonym, sweetie.

9) You just got a contract for erotica and you don't want your mother to find out. (You should never publish ANYTHING your mother can't find out about. That ought to be a law.)

8) Your name is Nora and you’re married to the love of your life, William Roberts. Give up. Your name is never gonna come up first in a Google search. NEVER

7) Your name is twistable into something that sounds like a porn site. Ask my friend Carol Cox about that one. And no, she didn’t change her name, but it’s been interesting at time.

6) You work somewhere at a day job where your privacy is important. Though I suspect any effort you make to write with true anonymity is a failed effort.

5) To hide your gender. See Leigh Greenwood and Alex Kava on this one. Yes their gender is out now but not at first. In fact I met Leigh Greenwood, a very successful romance novelist, at RWA and he said he’d come out of the closet and admitted he was a man several books ago.

4) Because you’re prolific. And you want to write more books a year than your publisher will let you.

3) Because your name is generic. Ask my sister Linda Swenson about this one. A lovely name and a lovely woman. But go google her name. It didn’t even come up. I got ‘narrow search’ instead of hits.

2) Your name is impossible to spell. Hello Mary Connealy. HOWEVER, the upside of an odd name is that the website for your name is most likely not taken. AND I picked Mary Nealy but it was by no means my first choice. I found naming myself surprisingly embarrassing.

1) You are changing genres. Yes, if you’re going from western romance to romantic thrillers you probably ought to warn your readers. Same goes for romance to women’s fiction. And Christian fiction to Vampires.

Go see the suspenseful side of ME. http://www.marynealy.com/

And for the 'regular' Mary Connealy who writes romantic comedy with cowboys, I'm out there too.

Seekerville
Petticoats &Pistols
My Blog
My WebsiteMy Newsletter

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryconnealy

Twitter: http://twitter.com/maryconnealy

Mary Connealy writes romantic comedy with cowboys. She is a Carol Award winner, and a Rita, Christy and Inspirational Reader's Choice finalist. Her newest book is in bookstores now. Swept Away, book #1 in the brand new Trouble in Texas series. She is the author of bestselling Kincaid Brides Series: Out of Control, In Too Deep, Over the Edge, also, Lassoed in Texas Trilogy, Montana Marriages Trilogy and Sophie's Daughters Trilogy. Mary is married to a Nebraska rancher and has four grown daughters and two spectacular grandchildren.

So what about you? Have you ever considered using a pen name? What made you decide for or against doing so?

My Unbalanced Life by Mary Connealy

I have people ask me how I find time to do all the marketing involved with being an author and still get my books written.

Add in I’ve got a husband who likes some attention, four adult daughters who I love hanging around with, two glorious grandchildren who NEED THEIR GRANDMA!!! A home to maintain and a full time job.

So how do I do it all? Here’s the answer.

I don’t.

When someone asks me how I balance everything I have to admit I am unbalanced. I believe there has been some paperwork filed with the County Attorney to that affect.

Writing isn’t something I find time for. Writing is my default activity. I have to be dragged away from my stories. It’s the rest of my life that I struggle with.

Writers write. That’s what we do. No one can sit alone for hours on end, having imaginary conversations with themselves….if they don’t love it.

When you talk with a writer who is harried and exhausted and under deadline she may worry about getting her book finished but that’s not because she doesn’t love writing, it’s because life intrudes on her book. She has to pull herself away and feed small children. Field emergency phone calls. Pay attention to her husband, very often the man supporting her while she works on her often poorly paying little hobby/job. Walk the whining dog.

And don’t even talk about marketing. It’s fun to write blog posts. I’m having a really good time right now. It’s writing, of course it’s fun. But it takes time. It takes creative energy. And that book is always whispering to you, alive in the back of your head ‘come back. You left your heroine hanging on a cliff by her fingernails. You left your hero heartbroken but too macho to admit he loves the heroine. You left a villain who needs to be arrested and shot and beaten with a big stick.

If the world would just leave a writer alone there would be only peace and harmony. (for her at least, heaven help the kids and husband and dog)

I have people say to me A LOT ‘I think I have a book in me.’ Or sometimes, ‘I’ve always wanted to write a book.’

I always say, “You know, write if you have the desire but don’t feel bad if you never get that book written. Sitting alone hour after hour makin’ stuff up isn’t a very normal way to conduct your life and most people just can’t do it. They like human interaction, they like talking to REAL people. They like MOVING.

I tell heartbroken, cruelly rejected authors that if they can’t take the pain then GET OUT. Go do something else. The money is probably better in a career that includes the words, “You want fries with that?”

For the most part, writers can’t stop. The pain and rejection and public humiliation (I’m thinking of One Star Amazon Reviews here) would stop any writer if they could be stopped.

But there is peace in knowing this is how God made me. We just have to accept that. Embrace who we are. Live an unbalanced live with joy—since you can’t stop anyway.

ABOUT MARY

Mary Connealy writes romantic comedy with cowboys.

She is a Carol Award winner, and a Rita and Christy finalist. She is the author of The Kincaid Brides Series: Out of Control, In Too Deep, Over the Edge.

Lassoed in Texas Trilogy containing three full length books: Petticoat Ranch, Calico Canyon and Gingham Mountain. Petticoat Ranch was a Carol Award Finalist. Calico Canyon was a Christy Award Finalist and a Carol Award Finalist.

The Montana Marriages Trilogy: Montana Rose, The Husband Tree and Wildflower Bride. Montana Rose and The Husband Tree are Carol Award Finalist.

Cowboy Christmas and Deep Trouble: Cowboy Christmas is the 2010 Carol Award for Best Long Historical Romance, and an Inspirational Readers Choice Contest Finalist.

The Sophie's Daughters series: Doctor in Petticoats, Wrangler in Petticoats, Sharpshooter in Petticoats. Doctor in Petticoats was a finalist for a Rita Award.

Mary is also the author of Black Hills Blessing a 3-in-1 collection of sweet contemporary romances, Nosy in Nebraska, a collection of cozy romantic mysteries and, writing under the pseudonym Mary Nealy, she's the author of Ten Plagues.

About Over the Edge

Seth Kincaid survived a fire in a cave, but he's never been the same. He was always a reckless youth, but now he's gone over the edge. He ran off to the Civil War and came back crazier than ever.

After the war, nearly dead from his injuries, it appears Seth got married. Oh, he's got a lot of excuses, but his wife isn't happy to find out Seth doesn't remember her. Callie has searched, prayed, and worried. Now she's come to the Kincaid family's ranch in Colorado to find her lost husband.

Callie isn't a long-suffering woman. Once she knows her husband is alive, she wants to kill him. She's not even close to forgiving him for abandoning her.

Then more trouble shows up in the form of a secret Seth's pa kept for years. The Kincaid brothers might lose their ranch if they can't sort things out. It's enough to drive a man insane -- but somehow it's all making Seth see things more clearly. And now that he knows what he wants, no one better stand in his way.

Find Mary online at:

Seekerville
Petticoats & Pistols
My Blog
My Website

My Journey to Publication by Mary Connealy

This Fortifying Friday, please welcome Mary Connealy, as she shares what helped get her stories on our book shelves.

My Journey to Publication

I started writing when my baby went to kindergarten. The book came out in February of the year she graduated from high school, so journey is the right word.

At first it was just me, home, alone. It took me two years to find RWA (yes, I live in a cave) Then I found a ‘local’ chapter. I started entering contests. I did well enough that the last two years before I got a contract, I finalled in eleven contests with five different books.

Through RWA I discovered ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers). Through ACFW I joined an online critique group, and entered my manuscript Petticoat Ranch in ACFW’s Noble Theme contest. I decided to attend the 2004 conference. Through all this passing of the years, whatever else I did to get published, I kept writing.

Well, I won The Noble Theme contest. I got a lot of requests at the conference to send in my book. I also got a really simple request from Cathy Marie Hake, an author I didn’t know. She asked me to send her my first three chapters. She just wanted to see how I wrote.

Just before the next year’s conference, Cathy Marie Hake told me she wanted to pitch my name to write a book as part of a three book series set in historical Alaska. I worked on a proposal and talked on the phone with Cathy a lot before the 2005 conference.

Every year at the conference the acquiring editor for Heartsong Presents gives a contract to an unpublished author. In 2005 it was me. It was a thrilling moment.

I have since gotten more contracts from Barbour. I’ll be writing eighteen books for them through 2011 including Montana Rose, and the soon to be released Cowboy Christmas.

One of the reasons it took me so long to get a book published, I believe, is that what I wanted to write didn’t fit anywhere.

I still remember reading that Harlequin was opening a line of Christian romances called Love Inspired. And here I was with all these finished books that were too clean to fit anywhere. I was writing for a genre of fiction that hadn’t been born yet.

Please visit Mary’s Web site to learn more.


Mary Connealy, writes romantic comedies with cowboys for Barbour Publishing. Montana Rose, Book #1 of the Montana Marriages series, released in July, book #2 The Husband Tree comes in January. Cowboy Christmas, a stand-alone romantic western is in bookstores now.