Tuesday, August 21, 2012

My Unbalanced Life by Mary Connealy

I have people ask me how I find time to do all the marketing involved with being an author and still get my books written.

Add in I’ve got a husband who likes some attention, four adult daughters who I love hanging around with, two glorious grandchildren who NEED THEIR GRANDMA!!! A home to maintain and a full time job.

So how do I do it all? Here’s the answer.

I don’t.

When someone asks me how I balance everything I have to admit I am unbalanced. I believe there has been some paperwork filed with the County Attorney to that affect.

Writing isn’t something I find time for. Writing is my default activity. I have to be dragged away from my stories. It’s the rest of my life that I struggle with.

Writers write. That’s what we do. No one can sit alone for hours on end, having imaginary conversations with themselves….if they don’t love it.

When you talk with a writer who is harried and exhausted and under deadline she may worry about getting her book finished but that’s not because she doesn’t love writing, it’s because life intrudes on her book. She has to pull herself away and feed small children. Field emergency phone calls. Pay attention to her husband, very often the man supporting her while she works on her often poorly paying little hobby/job. Walk the whining dog.

And don’t even talk about marketing. It’s fun to write blog posts. I’m having a really good time right now. It’s writing, of course it’s fun. But it takes time. It takes creative energy. And that book is always whispering to you, alive in the back of your head ‘come back. You left your heroine hanging on a cliff by her fingernails. You left your hero heartbroken but too macho to admit he loves the heroine. You left a villain who needs to be arrested and shot and beaten with a big stick.

If the world would just leave a writer alone there would be only peace and harmony. (for her at least, heaven help the kids and husband and dog)

I have people say to me A LOT ‘I think I have a book in me.’ Or sometimes, ‘I’ve always wanted to write a book.’

I always say, “You know, write if you have the desire but don’t feel bad if you never get that book written. Sitting alone hour after hour makin’ stuff up isn’t a very normal way to conduct your life and most people just can’t do it. They like human interaction, they like talking to REAL people. They like MOVING.

I tell heartbroken, cruelly rejected authors that if they can’t take the pain then GET OUT. Go do something else. The money is probably better in a career that includes the words, “You want fries with that?”

For the most part, writers can’t stop. The pain and rejection and public humiliation (I’m thinking of One Star Amazon Reviews here) would stop any writer if they could be stopped.

But there is peace in knowing this is how God made me. We just have to accept that. Embrace who we are. Live an unbalanced live with joy—since you can’t stop anyway.

Mary Connealy writes romantic comedy with cowboys.

She is a Carol Award winner, and a Rita and Christy finalist. She is the author of The Kincaid Brides Series: Out of Control, In Too Deep, Over the Edge.

Lassoed in Texas Trilogy containing three full length books: Petticoat Ranch, Calico Canyon and Gingham Mountain. Petticoat Ranch was a Carol Award Finalist. Calico Canyon was a Christy Award Finalist and a Carol Award Finalist.

The Montana Marriages Trilogy: Montana Rose, The Husband Tree and Wildflower Bride. Montana Rose and The Husband Tree are Carol Award Finalist.

Cowboy Christmas and Deep Trouble: Cowboy Christmas is the 2010 Carol Award for Best Long Historical Romance, and an Inspirational Readers Choice Contest Finalist.

The Sophie's Daughters series: Doctor in Petticoats, Wrangler in Petticoats, Sharpshooter in Petticoats. Doctor in Petticoats was a finalist for a Rita Award.

Mary is also the author of Black Hills Blessing a 3-in-1 collection of sweet contemporary romances, Nosy in Nebraska, a collection of cozy romantic mysteries and, writing under the pseudonym Mary Nealy, she's the author of Ten Plagues.

About Over the Edge
Seth Kincaid survived a fire in a cave, but he's never been the same. He was always a reckless youth, but now he's gone over the edge. He ran off to the Civil War and came back crazier than ever.

After the war, nearly dead from his injuries, it appears Seth got married. Oh, he's got a lot of excuses, but his wife isn't happy to find out Seth doesn't remember her. Callie has searched, prayed, and worried. Now she's come to the Kincaid family's ranch in Colorado to find her lost husband.

Callie isn't a long-suffering woman. Once she knows her husband is alive, she wants to kill him. She's not even close to forgiving him for abandoning her.

Then more trouble shows up in the form of a secret Seth's pa kept for years. The Kincaid brothers might lose their ranch if they can't sort things out. It's enough to drive a man insane -- but somehow it's all making Seth see things more clearly. And now that he knows what he wants, no one better stand in his way.

Find Mary online at:


  1. Awesome post, Mary! I can't imagine any 1-star reviews for your books. It's just not possible! After reading the first two Kincaid Brides books, I can't wait to dig into OVER THE EDGE and discover Seth's story. Congrats!

    Thanks for sharing your "unbalanced" life. Love it!

    1. I know, right? I'm so glad she didn't take the "you want fries with that" route!

      Thanks for your comment, Dora!

    2. Bless your heart, Dora. But you learn that no book is for EVERYONE. Although I don't see why mine can't be!!!

  2. Thank you for your post, Mary! I sure relate to the desire to forsake every other aspect of real life and lose myself in my little pretend world. Ah, there's something so satisfying. But how awesome that God works through all the aspects of our days and somehow weaves them all together. Congratulations on your new release!

    1. Ocieanna, that's such a wise comment. I'm still a little groggy this morning and your wisdom is helping me wake up!

  3. Oh Mary, I love your honesty. And humor, of course. I was just thinking today about how I like my ducks all in a row, but wondering why I can't even find my ducks right now. Your post helps me see my reality. Thanks!

    Though I don't comment often, I love this blog!

    1. I love ducks, Dianne. Thank you so much for bringing ducks into this blog conversation.

  4. Amen, Mary! Couldn't have said it better! Nice to know we're not alone in our weird and wonderful world!


    1. Hi Susan. It's fun to see you over here.


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