Whataboutism: What it is and how to beat it, by Emily Conrad

The Dictionary.com word of the day on May 16th was, “whataboutism.” The definition wasn’t quite what I expected. I’ll share that with you, and then I’d like to suggest a couple of alternate definitions, if I may.

whataboutism
noun

1. The official definition is available here. Basically, it’s a tactic to excuse one’s own faults by pointing out others’ faults, as in, “What about all the typos in published books? The two in my query letter shouldn’t have been a big deal. We’re all human.”
2. A tactic to claim a right to the blessing someone else was given, as in, “What about her publishing contract, God? Don’t I deserve one, too?”
3. A tactic to pull another person else down with us, as in, “What about him? Shouldn't his work have been rejected for too much telling, too?”
4. A phrase used to check on the welfare or to advocate for another person, as in, “What about Jane? Do you have a minute to listen to her pitch, too?”

(Side note: The word was first used long after the publication of the dictionary I photographed for this post, so though it made for nice pictures, it doesn't have an entry to match the post.)

Whataboutism may sound kind of playful and funny at the outset, but the examples of it at work aren’t so funny anymore. Whether the official definition or one of my made-up ones, whataboutism is all about comparison and entitlement.

This is an incredibly easy trap to fall into as a writer.

Whether the official definition or one of my made-up ones, whataboutism is all about #comparison and entitlement. This is an incredibly easy trap to fall into as a #writer. #butJesus via @emilyrconrad on #seriouslywrite

Whataboutism can disguise itself by dropping the phrase it’s known for while keeping the comparison and entitlement. Instead of “What about the agent that asked to see her full manuscript? Why didn’t that agent request mine?” we may ask, “She got a request. Why didn’t I?”

And if we’re really going to get honest here, we’re probably mentally cataloguing what we feel are the faults in that other writer’s manuscript. Our focus is on ourselves, and though we’re not resorting to the childish phrase “What about…?”, we are insulting another writer, her work, and the journey it’s taken her to get where she is.

But she just started writing last year. I’ve been doing this for over a decade. Her journey’s nothing compared to mine.

Instead of focusing on how I know these thought processes so well, let’s just agree with a cringe that comparison and entitlement are ugly beasts.

They are also ancient ones.

There’s a “what about” question in the Bible. In John 21:21, after Jesus predicts the kind of death Peter will face, Peter spots John.

So when Peter saw him, he asked Jesus, “Lord, what about him?” (NET)

Though I’d previously assumed Peter asked this out of jealousy or frustration over his own fate, my MacArthur study Bible suggests Peter asked out of concern for John. If MacArthur is correct, Peter’s version of whataboutism is about as noble as it gets.

Either way, Jesus doesn’t seem to be a fan of the question. Read His response for yourself:

“If I want him to live until I come back, what concern is that of yours? You follow me!” (John 21:22, NET)

Despite concurrently serving the same God in similar ministries, Peter and John weren’t given the luxury of comparison.

As Christian writers, we’re not, either.

Despite concurrently serving the same God in similar ministries, Peter and John weren’t given the luxury of #comparison. As Christian #writers, we’re not, either. via @emilyrconrad on #seriouslywrite

What God decides for one of us is between that person and God. No one else should try to insert themselves into the conversation.

Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are different results, but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. (1 Corinthians 12:4 and 6, NET)

Continue reading in 1 Corinthians 12, and you’ll see that instead of comparing ourselves to others, we’re told to recognize that each of us is one part of a larger body. We serve different purposes in different ways, but we each have purpose in Christ.

Instead of arguing about what we might feel entitled to, we’re told to “clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. And God will exalt you in due time, if you humble yourselves under his mighty hand by casting all your cares on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:5-7, NET)


When we practice humility toward others and toward God, He gives us grace and eventually… exalts us? That sounds too good to be true—and apart from the grace of God, it is. But this doesn’t mean our work is guaranteed to someday hit the big bestseller lists, because the bestseller lists aren’t the point. Christ is the point, and when we have Him, we truly have everything we need.

It’s our job to follow Him. Let’s pursue excellence as we do so.

But, come to think of it, there is one way we’re encouraged to notice what others are up to. The Bible encourages us to outdo each other in showing honor (see Romans 12:10). We can’t compete like that if we haven’t noticed what our brothers and sisters in Christ are up to. Instead of a mean-spirited or self-focused “What about…?” mentality, this mindset centers around, “How can I lift up someone else?”

Since I’ve already taken the liberty of inventing definitions for whataboutism, why not make up a whole new word?

Howcanism
noun

1. A tactic to lift others up in Christian love, as in, "How can I bless that person I’m tempted to be jealous of? How can I promote others to spread to a hurting world the hope reflected in Christian writing? How can I encourage someone today, even if my dreams still seem a long way off?"

When you recognize whataboutism, push it out of your life with something new: howcanism.

“Everyone will know by this that you are my disciples – if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35, NET)

_____________

Whataboutism: What it is to the #Christianwriter and how to beat it by @emilyrconrad on #seriouslywrite

Emily Conrad writes Christian romance and a blog to encourage women of faith. Her debut novel, Justice, released from Pelican Book Group in 2018. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and two rescue dogs. She loves Jesus and enjoys road trips to the mountains, crafting stories, and drinking coffee. (It’s no coincidence Justice is set mostly in a coffee shop!) She offers free short stories on her website and loves to connect with readers on social media.

www.emilyconradauthor.com
Facebook.com/emilyconradauthor
Instagram.com/emilyrconrad
Twitter.com/emilyrconrad

JUSTICE

Jake thought he was meant to marry Brooklyn, but now she's pregnant, and he had nothing to do with it. Brooklyn can’t bring herself to name the father as she wrestles with questions about what her pregnancy means and how it will affect her relationship with Jake. If Harold Keen, the man who owns the bookstore across from Jake's coffee shop, has anything to do with it, the baby will ruin them both. Can Jake and Brooklyn overcome the obstacles thrown in their path, and finally find the truth in God's love and in each other?


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Envy or Individuality

by Peter Leavell @peterleavell

The most dangerous game you can play as a writer is comparing your career to other writers. The following three reasons show the futility behind the envy that creeps into your heart and threatens to hold you back. To counterweight the bad, we’ll glance at three ways to flaunt your individuality.

Don't:

1. Writing journeys vary. Your unique experience is yours alone, and your trials and circumstances show in your work, creating an inimitable work of passion that only one person could create—you.

Comparisons, then, are completely fruitless, for if experience is different, then the outcomes must be different. Of course you will have a different amount of fans, a distinctive book cover that doesn’t look like theirs, a different plotline. It’s impossible to have the same, because you’re not the same person. That would just be creepy, and similar to bad utopian societies I’ve read about.

2. Readers vary and need difference in work. Getting to know a new author is a pleasure. You might be that new author. Envy might make you write like someone else because you want to be like them. Be a distinct voice. 

Also, envying another writer’s success shows in your writing as a lack of confidence. Jealousy makes it easy to let negativity flow from your tongue or from your fingers and onto the page. 

3. No author I know considers themselves a success. Not even the Pulitzer Prize winner. However, other writers envy your level of success. This Ping-Pong tournament could last forever. Let it stop with you. Be an example to other writers and avoid envy.

Do:

If you chose to glance at another author to envy their work and their following, you’re missing out on the focus that builds your own portfolio. So, stop it. But that’s far easier said than done. Focus on these three tips to break the envy cycle.

1. Be friends with other writers, not their colleagues. Ignore their work when you can. With my friends, we all have our own careers, and while I respect their work, we’re not competing. We’re talking, enjoying each other’s company.

2. Be so focused on bettering yourself, you won’t have time for envy. I believe this thought comes from the Bible. Be so focused on your search for God's character, you've no time for jealousy. 

One philosopher I've read sequestered himself from others in his field because they influenced him, and he needed to break from their subjective mindsets. He worked in a stone tower and only emerged when he'd finished his book.  He'd learned from other careers, but didn't envy them. He focused on his own work. Build that stone tower in your mind. 

3. Action! Pay attention to what's working for someone that sparks your jealousy, and make that thing yours. If they're doing great things on twitter, but you love Facebook, do great things on Facebook. Make it yours! Ask how they're getting good book contracts instead of wishing you had one. Then shake your head on how they did it, and do it your way. Take action!

This is about your story, your experience, your value—which is considerable. Don’t squander it by envying others. The following references lead to a few of the many Bible verses about envy that help put jealousy’s consequences into perspective. Take great pains to focus on you, your own journey with God, your own skills and value. Your fans will thank you for your efforts!

James 3:16. James 4:2-3. Proverbs 14:30. Proverbs 27:4. Ecclesiastes 4:4. Song of Solomon 8:6. Job 5:2. Galatians 5:26. 1 Corinthians 13:4. Romans 13:13. Matthew 27:18

                                                       ~~~~~~

Peter Leavell, a 2007 graduate of Boise State University with a degree in history and currently enrolled in the University's English Lit Graduate program, was the 2011 winner of Christian Writers Guild's Operation First Novel contest, and 2013 Christian Retailing's Best award for First-Time Author. A novelist, blogger, teacher, ghostwriter, jogger, biker, husband and father, Peter and his family live in Boise, Idaho. Learn more about Peter's books, research, and family adventures at www.peterleavell.com.

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Publishing Envy by Robin Johns Grant

Like all of us who take this writing for publication life seriously, Robin Johns Grant has had her share of ups and downs, but she's looking to the right source for help. -- Sandy

Robin: I confess. My name is Robin Johns Grant and I suffer from publishing envy.

I pursued a traditional publishing contract literally for decades, and that’s when the envy first started to creep in. While I submitted and suffered rejection and waited, I read about newbie authors who seemed to land contracts with no effort at all.

Then the self-publishing explosion came along to level the playing field, and I truly believe God guided me to go indie. I came out with my first novel, Summer’s Winter, in January.

For a while, it was a blast. No, I wasn’t selling thousands or making lots of money, but I seemed to be developing momentum, and I was getting endorsements and great reviews. I was out there! Published! And then…

Even as I learned about marketing and increased my efforts, sales tanked. I feel stuck again. It’s hard not to feel like a failure.

Meanwhile, I read stories like Colleen Hoover’s. She self-published and put very little money or effort  into it. She simply decided to publish a book so she could give copies to her family. Then a popular blogger reviewed her book, she started selling like crazy. And two years later, she has had five NYT best-sellers and two books optioned for movies!

And here I go again…publishing envy.

Does it ever seem to you that when God wants to communicate with you, He sends you the same Bible verse or story from all different directions? As I’ve been experiencing my slump, over and over God has sent me the story of Elijah on Mount Carmel. You know, Elijah going against the prophets of Baal to see which one could call upon their god to bring down fire from Heaven and ignite the wood on the altar? (SPOILER ALERT: Our God wins!)

It really excites me that God is sending me this story even as I’m praying about igniting my writing career. I mean, fire from Heaven would be like what happened to Colleen Hoover, right? Instant gratification and success. Yes!

God even told Elijah to soak the altar three times with water, so the success would be even more amazing. So maybe He’s just soaking my writing career to show His glory even more when the success comes…

His glory.

This is where I need to stop myself and get real. Elijah did not win Prophet Idol on Mount Carmel, bring himself fame and fortune and a movie deal. The whole competition was not about Elijah—it was about bringing glory to God. Actually, for Elijah, brought about death threats and exhaustion, even depression, all in the service of the Lord.

I call myself writing and publishing in service to the Lord. So maybe instead of revving me up and promising me that I, too, can be successful and famous—with very little effort! Fire from Heaven!—God is reminding me why I write. Reminding me that at times, however we serve him, it may be exhausting and discouraging. But that just as he did with Elijah, he’ll renew us and comfort us and get us going again. (SPOILER ALERT: God takes care of Elijah in a totally cool, supernatural way. It involves ravens.)

Do you ever feel that "publishing envy" when looking at what other writers are accomplishing?

~~~~~

ROBIN JOHNS GRANT has been writing for most of her life. While waiting for her writing to pay off, she wrote and edited university publications; managed an office for a team of private investigators; and worked as a university financial aid counselor. She also did a lot of crazy fan stuff and developed fascinations with books and movies like Harry Potter and Star Wars, which helped her dream up Jeanine and Jamie for Summer's Winter.

Robin now has her best day job ever as a college librarian, which keeps her young by allowing her to hang out with students.  She lives in Georgia with her wonderful husband Dave and formerly feral feline, Mini Pearl. Robin is celebrating the release of her first novel, Summer's Winter, a romantic suspense about preacher’s daughter Jeanine and her obsession with troubled film star, Jamie. Keep up with Robin and her writing at http://www.robinjohnsgrant.com.

Letting Go of Comparison by Ian Acheson

Do you know someone who appears to have it all together in a way that makes you wonder why you can't be like that? Today, Ian Acheson gives us some tips about dealing with envy. -- Sandy

Ian: One of the benefits of social media is we can get an insiders view of authors we admire. They will often share a lot about their writing routine. Many times I’ve marveled at some authors incredible ability to produce. Somehow between doing another job, managing their household commitments, being an engaged spouse, parent and friend, they’re able to pump out thousands of words every day.

I’m in awe.

Sometimes (well more frequently than I really would care to admit) the nagging green beast of envy rises up within my heart. It’s a similar feeling that may strike me when a friend appears to have everything worked out and their life appears to be a bed of roses.

Comparison.

Arrgh. Yes, I think we can all relate to it.

As the annual book award season is about to start in earnest it is very easy to start wondering why others books have received more accolades than ours. Forget accolades, what about the number of reviews such and such has received for their latest work?

“Comparison is all about conformity and competition,” Brene Brown says. “When we compare, we want to be the best or have the best of our group.”¹ Even the disciples (and members of their families) struggled with similar impulses. Recall how James and John’s mother asked of Jesus that her sons be seated at his right and left hand. The other disciples were “indignant” at such a request. (Matthew 20: 20-28)

So how do I deal with the green-eyed monster of comparison?

1. I thank God for the person whose situation has prompted the negative emotions in me. It is amazing what happens when we start being thankful and praising God for the blessings another is experiencing. Something magical happens and those pesky negative emotions subside.
2. Encourage the other person in some way. You may not know them but these days with so many methods of connecting with people sending a tweet or FB comment usually isn’t too difficult. Once again, this encouragement acts like an anaesthetic to the wound in our heart. 
3. Get back to my writing project. God has made us to create (yes, all of us) and it’s in using our creativity that we can leave our own small original imprint on the world. No one else can write the story that He has placed in our heart. Yes, it is risky as Erwin McManus states, “We cannot create without risk.”2 But it is only in leaning into the discomfort that comes with risk that we are able to experience the joy from obeying the call that burns within our hearts. The call to create.

Note: 1. The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown, Hazelden 2010 p94-95 2. Article in RELEVANT Magazine,  May/June 2014, titled “Everyone is Creative”, Erwin McManus.

How do you deal with the green-eyed monster of comparison?  

~~~~

Ian Acheson is an author and strategy consultant based in Sydney, Australia. Ian's first novel of speculative fiction, Angelguard, is now available in the US, UK, Canada and Australia. He’s currently busy working on Wrestling with Shadows, the second novel in The Chronicles of the Angelguard. You can find more about Angelguard at Ian's website, on his author Facebook page and Twitter