Ask O: Dialogue

Hi and welcome to Ask O Wednesdays! Don't forget to leave a question in the comments section and check out the end of this post for a FREE DIALOGUE WORKSHEET.

Today's question is, how do you make dialogue distinguishable between characters?

Have you ever read a book that really bored you? You couldn’t get into the characters, and you realized you’d zoned out by the end of a page? I sure have—my own writing!

In my early attempts at fiction, I remember reviewing a manuscript I’d put my heart and hard work into, only to realize…bluck!...this is terrible. But what was wrong with it?

Fortunately, soon thereafter I learned of the concept of distinguishable dialogue. Oh, so you need to be able to tell the difference not just from dialogue tags? Maybe that was the problem.

Since then I learned to ask myself this question: Can you tell who’s speaking without any tags? This has helped!

To accomplish this is not easy, but over the years, I’ve learned a remarkable secret weapon to make it easier: become the character!

I’ve heard that I need to know my characters. And yes, I agree. I fill out the character charts like everyone else. I can tell you what her goals and desires are. Whether she twirls her hair when she talks or keeps a mint in her pocket to share with her nephew—and what kind of mint it is (probably Mentos).

I highly recommend this path of character discovery. And I’m careful to apply it to dialogue. I add “How does she talk?” to my chart. “She has a southern accent, a slight tilt to her voice when she’s irritated, and a sniff which can mean she likes you or hates you.”

It’s good stuff and important, but it only takes me so far. If I forget one of my character’s carefully created dialogue traits, the spoken words easily drift toward the standard, indistinguishable talking-head version. Plus, implementing dialogue by using facts from a chart can create stilted, unrealistic conversations.

For my dialogue to sound authentic, to draw readers into the life of a real person (not just a character) I must become the character. That means I must tear down the walls between her and I, slather myself in her identity, and let her flow out of me. I actually close my eyes and visualize myself roaming around in her world. I don’t think, What would my character say? I am the character. I think, What would I say?

How do I “get there”? Well, the best comparison is to those times when I was incredibly connected to a character I read about in a novel. I felt her emotions, saw what she saw, heard what she heard. Cared deeply. In a way, I entered a new world where I no longer existed.

That’s where I try to be when writing dialogue. I do the hard work—filling out charts, analyzing motives, understanding desires—but when I sit down to write, I forget it all and let the words flow from her—I mean my—lips.

When I do this for each character, each character not only sounds unique, their words grow and change organically, becoming more realistic with each revision.

Try it. I'd love to hear how this works for you!

For a free Dialogue Worksheet visit ocieanna.com.

And be sure to leave me a question for next week's Ask O!

Writing Good Dialogue by Kay Marshall Strom

Kay Marshall Strom has graciously agreed to let us post her blog article on dialogue. Here’s the original link. I hope you are blessed this Manuscript Monday by Kay’s wise advice.

Don’t Let This Happen to You:
Writing Good Dialogue
by Kay Marshall Strom

Writing good dialogue is an art. Here are some dialogue-polishing pointers I call: ”Don’t let this happen to you.”

Unnatural Dialogue: “You’re crazy, Justin!” said Megan. “Look who’s talking, Megan,” Justin replied. When we talk to people, we hardly ever say their names. Yet the tendency in dialogue is to repeatedly address our characters by name. Don’t. Better: “You’re crazy!” said Megan. ”Look who’s talking,” Justin replied.

Over-descriptive dialogue: Too many adjectives and adverbs give a fake, amateurish feel to your writing, and dialogue is no exception. “When I gazed upon the snowy-white petals of the lilies, so like winter’s icy coat of velvet, I knew Louie’s love for me was at an end,” she murmured tragically. Choose your adjectives carefully and sparingly. Make certain each one is worth its presence. Be even more stingy with your adverbs. Much better to let your sentence set the emotion than tack instructions on at the end. Better: “When I saw the white lilies, I knew what they meant; Louie no longer loved me,” she murmured.

Lectures or soliloquies: “You will be taking the driving test next week,” Mother said. “All the days of practice, all the hours of study, all the mistakes and all the do-overs will come into play when you sit down behind the steering wheel, take off the parking brake, and put the car in gear. Take a deep breath, my dear daughter, and clear your mind of everything but the test. I know you can do this.” Long speeches grow stale very quickly. Don’t try to pack too much information into a passage. Dialogue isn’t the place to display all the research you did, either. Nor should you use it to sneak in “And the moral of this story is…” Better: “You will be taking the driving test next week,” Mother said. “You’re ready. I know you can do it.”

Exposition: “I happened to run into your sister Julia, the one who married the doctor, Tim, from Peru, and who has the three children–Luisa, Freddie, and Lizzie. She was telling me that your mother moved to an eight-bedroom mansion on the tip of Florida where she lives among writers.” Oh, my! Please, do not have your characters tell each other what they already know just for the sake of letting your readers in on it. If you want us to know that kind of information, give it to us in narrative form. Better: I had wanted to hear the words from Sarah‘s mouth. Her sister Julia was in town with, Tim–her doctor husband from Peru– and their children. Julia had talked on and on about her mother’s eight-bedroom mansion on the tip of Florida, and all her writer neighbors. When I finally saw Sarah, I said, “I talked to Julia.”

Unnecessary Dialogue: “Frank, this is my good friend, Jean. Jean, this is my neighbor from up the street, Frank. I thought it would be nice for the two of you to have a chance to shake hands and at least say hello to each other.” If the dialogue has no real purpose, leave it out. Dialogue that fills the page and simply serves to bide time succeeds only in slowing your story down and boring your reader. Better: She introduced Jean and Frank to one another.

Repetitious Dialogue: All day, Marianne had been busy painting the room. She paused when Philip entered. “I’m painting,” she told him. She lifted her blue brush high. “Blue,” she said. Tell us in the narrative or tell us in the dialogue, but don’t do both. Better: Marianne had been busy painting the room. She paused when Philip entered. “Blue,” she said, holding her brush high.

Sugary-Sweet Dialogue: “Oh, Mother, the dinner is delicious, as always. Brother, dear, please pass me more of the wonderful potatoes,” little Francine said. You say you have to be extra nice because you are writing about your own family? And you don’t want anyone to look bad? So you just add an extra touch of the positive and pare off anything that could be interpreted as negative? Your readers won’t believe a word of it! Better: “Eat your dinner, Francine,” mother said. “Starving children around the world would be glad to have those mashed potatoes!”

Creative Attributions: “Don’t talk back,” he coughed. First of all, attributions must be other ways of speaking. People cannot cough words–or smile them or laugh them or sneeze them, for that matter. Second, plain old said and asked and answered are far more serviceable than more creative options, such as queried or extrapolated or implored. Third, look for opportunities to use an action in lieu of any attribution. Better: Franklin’s face went livid. “Don’t talk back!”

Okay, that’s my ”get started” list. Any dialogue hints you want to add?

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Kay Marshall Strom is the author 36 published books. Her writing credits also include numerous magazine articles, short stories, curriculum, two prize-winning screenplays, and booklets for writers. For 10 years Kay taught writing classes through the California State University system, during which she designed and directed the Writers Certificate Program for Long Beach State University. Today her writing and speaking take her around the word.

You can learn more by visiting www.kaystrom.com

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Look for Kay's book The Voyage of Promise, releasing Oct 2010.

She is safe, and she is free . . . but she is still alone.

Slavers burst into Grace Winslow's life with guns blazing and tear her family apart forever. She watches in anguish as her husband is led in chains aboard a tightly packed slave ship bound for America. An old enemy has a more sinister plan for Grace and prepares her for a different kind of servitude in London. But Grace will not be enslaved. And she will not give up on the man she loves. In her determination to be reunited with her husband, she finds God reaching out to her.