Conference Tips for a Shy Introvert by Dora Hiers

Dora Hiers

Last week I attended my first Romance Writers of America national conference. For you extroverts this probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, but for a shy introvert like me? Epic proportions. For those of you on the fence about attending ACFW, maybe my experience will help you decide.

Did you know that shyness and introversion are not the same?

Shyness is a “feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness” around unfamiliar people especially in new situations, largely due to fear. Most of the time, a shy individual will avoid social situations.

Where does shyness originate? Some evidence suggests that shyness is genetic. It can also originate from a person’s environment or personal experiences. Perhaps mine resulted from being burned as a toddler and enduring countless pointed fingers and stares. Whatever the reason, I’m in my fifties now and fear still drenches my palms and tension knots my tummy during social events, so I don’t think it’s going away.

Introverts prefer to be by themselves, and “are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings.” Where extroverts thrive on energy from a crowd, introverts usually feel drained after interacting in a social situation…much like the beautiful hummingbirds that buzz across the neighborhood backyards, flitting from feeder to feeder.

Hummingbird in garage

  

Occasionally they find their way into our garage. Because they just keep fluttering to the ceiling, they exhaust themselves and sometimes die trying to escape. Just last week, I dragged the ladder out and rescued this little guy. Once outside the confinement of the garage, their energy is renewed. That’s a bit how an introvert feels in the midst of a social setting. Exhausted and drained, wilted until they can escape.

So, how can a shy introvert prepare for conference?

Persist. I refuse to let shyness rule my life, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t rear its ugly head. Keep putting yourself in situations where you are forced to deal with that awkward uncomfortable feeling. Don’t give up.

Practice. If you’re planning to pitch, practice every day for two to three weeks until you’re comfortable with the words and flow. Cover possible topics and get to know the person you’re pitching to by following them on Twitter. Doing this gave me tremendous courage.

Book a hotel away from the conference site. By the time I registered, the conference hotels were already booked, or I wouldn’t have discovered this valuable gem of a tip. My hotel was only a couple blocks away from the conference site but the short walk was worth the time to myself. Also, it was less crowded and quiet compared to the constant buzz in the conference hotel.

Pray. You’ve probably all prayed or read the NKJV of 2 Timothy 1:7 before ~ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind, but here’s another translation (TLB) that spoke to this shy introvert:

For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them.

Isn’t that fabulous?

Tips for a shy introvert to stay calm during a conference:

Remind yourself that the benefits outweigh your fears. Determine what your goals are beforehand so you can remind yourself as often as necessary.

Limit caffeine as much as possible. It’s less upsetting on the tummy.

Schedule down time. Did you see the RWA 2014 schedule? Hundreds of workshops, parties, book signings, publisher spotlights, you name it. Events started at 7:30 AM and lingered well into the night. Not for me. I attended the classes but reserved evenings to recharge.

Riverwalk-San Antonio

Find a chill spot. It’s not impossible, and definitely worth the effort. Before my pitch session, I found this perfect spot to chill and pray. 

What about you? What's your biggest hangup about attending a conference? What suggestions would you share to help someone enjoy their conference experience?

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Devastated after the brutal murder of her husband, Chelsea Hammond vows never to love another lawman. Intent on rebuilding her shattered life, she turns her focus to helping troubled teens. But when an angry father bent on retaliation, threatens her, Chelsea must turn to the one man she never thought to trust: Deputy U.S. Marshal Trey Colten.

Trey wants only to protect Chelsea, but she blames him for her husband’s death. Trey can relate. He blames himself, also. As danger lurks, Trey begs Chelsea to heed his warnings. He let down one Hammond. He won’t let down another—especially one who now holds his heart.

When Chelsea is snatched from her home, can she put aside her fear, and trust Trey with her life? Can she forgive him for destroying her past and let him help to rebuild her future?

Where one journey ends, another begins…

Dora Hiers is a multi-published author of Heart Racing, God-Gracing romances. She’s a member of RWA, ACFW, and the Treasurer for ACFW-Charlotte Chapter. Connect with her on Seriously Write, her personal blog, Twitter, Facebook or Pinterest.

Persistence...Does It Payoff? by Dora Hiers

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Soon after we married, my husband and I began praying for different jobs so we could leave Florida. The constant ninety degree temperatures left me fatigued, and both of us longed for cooler climates. We prayed. And prayed. God told us no...for twenty years.

We'd walk in the evenings, sweat dripping down our necks and backs, sharing our dreams, and talking about where we might live. Sometimes when we felt particularly discouraged, when it didn't feel that God was listening to our prayers, He'd open up a door. An interview, just enough encouragement to keep us knocking on heaven's gate.

In 2007, God finally called us into our promised land, North Carolina, a land flowing with milk and hon...er, seasons. Where trees bud and leaves flutter softly to the ground in a gentle breeze. Where we could tug on sweaters and long pants, instead of the usual shorts and flip flops. Where we learned to appreciate snow and four-wheel drive.

What if we'd given up praying for our dream? Would God have given up on us? No. But He might not have blessed us so abundantly. He moved us smack into the middle of NASCAR country! Hubby thinks he's already in heaven!

Jesus shared the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18, instructing us to "always pray and not give up" and that God wants to bring justice to His chosen ones, the ones who cry out to Him continually.

Many of us started writing with only our dreams. Years stretch into decades, and as we walk the path, sweat drips down our backs. We're fatigued, worn out from sending queries and proposals, and the constant rejections seem to be the only answer to our prayers.

What does God call us to do?

I believe He gave us our marching orders.

Pray. Pray. Pray. Don't give up. Cry out to Him continually.

What if your promised land is right around the next query letter?

What about you? 
Are you weary from the long journey?

Have you considered quitting? What, or who, has kept you going?

Purchase Link

Devastated after the brutal murder of her husband, Chelsea Hammond vows never to love another lawman. Intent on rebuilding her shattered life, she turns her focus to helping troubled teens. But when an angry father bent on retaliation, threatens her, Chelsea must turn to the one man she never thought to trust: Deputy U.S. Marshal Trey Colten.

Trey wants only to protect Chelsea, but she blames him for her husband’s death. Trey can relate. He blames himself, also. As danger lurks, Trey begs Chelsea to heed his warnings. He let down one Hammond. He won’t let down another—especially one who now holds his heart.

When Chelsea is snatched from her home, can she put aside her fear, and trust Trey with her life? Can she forgive him for destroying her past and let him help to rebuild her future?

Where one journey ends, another begins…

Dora Hiers is a multi-published author of Heart Racing, God-Gracing romances. She’s a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and the Treasurer for ACFW-Charlotte Chapter. Connect with her here on Seriously Write, her personal blog, Twitter, Facebook or Pinterest.

Tips to Keep Distractions from Veering You Off Course

Me - Dora Hiers

This spring, hubby and I purchased a new car. Before that, I drove a Ford Explorer, which I loved, but now that it's mostly me and the dog tooling around, it seemed pointless to drive such a big car. And gas? Nothing like watching $70 drain out of a tank, right?

So when the Explorer got to be of age, I set out to find a car with better gas mileage, but it had to be sporty and roomy enough to accommodate our full-figured Golden Retriever.

We decided on a Hyundai Santa Fe. I could ramble all day about the features. Heated seats, shiftronic capability (the ability to switch between automatic and stick~don't get me going on that!), great gas mileage, and ...

<--- check this out!

An electronic digital display estimates my average miles per gallon. What?? Do you know that you can boost your gas mileage by taking your foot off the accelerator for a few seconds? Well, I am all over that! That's why I got the car, right?

So, instead of focusing on the road, sometimes I would find myself honing in on that blue line, getting giddy as it edged closer to 50 mpg. I mean, really. How cool is that?

But then a honk would get my attention. Or moseying off the side of the road...

It's the same with our writing, isn't it? We allow distractions to take our attention away from getting words on the page. Those interruptions and diversions will drain our writing time and cause us to veer off the road, er...not accomplish anything that day.

Here are some suggestions that help me stay on track:

Determine your most productive time and stick to it. Early on, I recognized my most productive time of the day was in the morning, so that’s when I write. After breakfast and quiet time, I respond to emails and check social media briefly, and then immediately start writing. Every thirty minutes I get up and stretch, occasionally hit the restroom or refresh my drink. I don’t answer the phone unless it’s my husband, and I schedule all appointments for afternoons. Figure out your most productive time and do your best to work with it within the confines of your schedule. 

If you work a full time job, but your fingers fly across the keyboard in the mornings, can you get up a few minutes early to write? If your mind comes alive late at night, carve out some time after the kids go to bed to write. If your day consists of taxiing your kids around from football to gymnastics, you may have to adjust to lugging a laptop or tablet and squeezing word counts in fifteen minute increments. As much as possible, whenever you write, guard that time.

Set a goal. Set a realistic word count goal for the day, and then map it out for the entire year. Sounds like a lot of work, but it’s actually a great tool to help you see what you can accomplish if you cut out the distractions. Ask your spouse or a friend to keep you accountable by asking how many words you wrote that day.

Recognize your priorities. My recent college grad lived at home for a short time while he searched for a job. When he sauntered in my office, no matter the time, I was all ears because I recognized time with him was short, so talking with him was a priority. Occasionally, I found it necessary to adjust my word count while he was living with us, which I did, willingly.

Eliminate unnecessary distractions. Do whatever it takes to eliminate distractions. The biggest distraction for me is the Internet. There are apps available to disconnect from the Internet for extended periods of time, or you can just set a timer to alert you when your break is over.

What about you? How do you minimize your distractions?

Care to share the tips that work for you?

Journey's End
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Devastated after the brutal murder of her husband, Chelsea Hammond vows never to love another lawman. Intent on rebuilding her shattered life, she turns her focus to helping troubled teens. But when an angry father bent on retaliation, threatens her, Chelsea must turn to the one man she never thought to trust: Deputy U.S. Marshal Trey Colten. 

Trey wants only to protect Chelsea, but she blames him for her husband’s death. Trey can relate. He blames himself, also. As danger lurks, Trey begs Chelsea to heed his warnings. He let down one Hammond. He won’t let down another—especially one who now holds his heart.

When Chelsea is snatched from her home, can she put aside her fear, and trust Trey with her life? Can she forgive him for destroying her past and let him help to rebuild her future?

This Writer's Thanksgivings by Dora Hiers

On any given day, if you ask my hubby how he’s doing, he will respond, “Life just doesn’t get any better than this.” That doesn’t mean he hasn’t experienced disappointments or struggles, but in his opinion, things could always be worse. Smart man, my hubby. 

Every writer suffers painful circumstances, whether that’s receiving another rejection or a negative review. Groaning and grumbling about our writing disappointments steals our joy and robs us of the abundant life God desires for us. He calls us to 

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; 

give thanks to Him and praise his name.” (Ps 100:4 NIV)

So let’s give Him thanks for our writing blessings! Today, I’m thankful for…

My Father, the God of all creation who continually inspires me with ideas and stories. Our God designed the entire universe, not leaving out a single detail, and yet He loves and cares for us. Isn’t that amazing? What an awesome God we serve!

My hubby. My biggest encourager and loudest fan. He's an integral part of my writing journey, from character development to plotting to marketing. He’s so many other things, but this is a writing blog, so I’ll leave it at that. :-)

Carolina Christian Writers and my Seriously Write team members. Dear friends who make the writing road less lonely and who encourage and uplift others with their sweet words.

Pelican Book Group/White Rose Publishing, Nicola Martinez & my gracious editors. Thank you for believing in me and for providing my stories with a publishing home. That’s how you make me feel. At home. You’re such a blessing to me.

Terry Prather, Emily Leachman and Friends of the Kannapolis Library for encouraging me to share my story and for opening library doors across the country.

Bruiser, my Golden Retriever, for providing me with much needed exercise throughout the day. Let him out, let him back in. Repeat fifty times a day. If it weren’t for him, I would be ten pounds heavier.

What about you?

Care to share your thanksgivings today?

Wishing you a joyous, Son-filled Thanksgiving Day, my friends!