When you
can’t write because life hurts, what do you do? Quit? Take a break? Write the
hurts? We each react a different way. If you’re like me, matters of the heart
and spirit pour over into your writing. Experiences that hurt either stifle our
writing or open it up like a flower bursting through hardened soil and opening
under the brilliance of the sun.
I took a
break for a year and a half. In the same way a crimped water hose staunches the
flow, no words streamed from my heart or gushed from my keyboard. I could deal
with what was already written, so I edited. However, the pain in my heart was so
raw and ugly, filled with anger and grief that I didn’t even want in a journal.
Within two
years’ time, I experienced three relationships torn apart, our son went through
a divorce, my mom died, I became caretaker for an elderly aunt and uncle, my
husband went through a job change, and finally forced retirement. I underwent
four major surgeries. My mind, body, and heart were worn out. My tears flowed
freely. My words did not.
As time
passed, scripture touched my wounds with healing balm. God’s word confronted me
about attitudes, words, and actions that required submission to him. It became
clear that I must seek and offer forgiveness out of obedience. Hurtful emotions
had to be left to him. My heart became a garden where weeds threatened to choke
the fruit. However, forgiveness kills spiritual weeds.
To forgive
heals even when the heart hasn’t caught up. Peace comes when I pray God’s will
and not my own. Rest happens when I walk away from the throne and leave my
burdens there.
As writers,
our hearts speak through words. It doesn’t matter what the form, devotions,
inspiration, fiction, or non-fiction. Our emotions break their silence through
words. Yet silence is necessary to hear God’s thoughts above my own. Whatever
our struggle, it impacts our writing with new meaning which can touch our
reader’s hearts with power.
It’s all
right to take a break. I jotted down feelings, sentences, quotes, and
scriptures. None formed a written piece of any kind, although their impact is
etched in my spirit. God met me through those broken sentences.
When we
survive the trials life sends, we grow. However, we don’t grow in a vacuum.
Others experience similar times. Psalm 37:23 says, “If the Lord delights in a
man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for
the Lord upholds him with his hand.”
I
survived. I’m stronger as a person and a writer because God upholds me with his
hand. When life hurts and stifles words, rest in the Father’s arms, soak up his
word like healing balm. Allow him to grow you in new ways. He will not let go.
© Norma Gail Holtman, May 11, 2020
When you can’t write because life hurts, what do you do? via @Norma_Gail
~~~~~~
Norma
Gail’s debut novel, Land of My Dreams, won the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. Within Golden Bands released May 19th. A women’s Bible study
leader for over 21 years, her devotionals have appeared in several
publications. She lives in New Mexico with her husband of 44 years.
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As Kieran's elusive attacker stalks the family, threatening their safety, the couple is forced to hire bodyguards. Bonny still longs to be a mother but Kieran fears his deep-seated opposition to adoption will drive them apart. Are faith and love strong enough to keep their fledgling marriage on solid ground? Will they choose to trust God when his ways are impossible to fathom?
