Fraud - a person who is not what he or she pretends to be: imposter
I'll let you in on a little secret, sometimes when I tell people I'm a writer, I feel like a fraud. Case in point, when I purchased my new laptop I explained to the salesman I needed the laptop for writing not gaming. Then he asked me what I wrote. I replied, "Christian suspense."
Well, when he asked me if I wrote like Ted Dekker I wanted to sink into the floor. Then to top it off he added Frank Peretti to the mix. By then surely there was a scarlet F for FRAUD emblazoned on my shirt. I believe I mumbled something about wishing I wrote like them.
I didn't want to confess the mobility and freedom the laptop would afford me would help boost my word count.
Lately I've had definite issues with productivity in my writing life. I plan to write, I want to write, but I don't actually write.
Why?
Believe me, I wish I knew. I've come up with four possibilities.
1. Maybe writing was my calling for a season and that season is past.
2. Maybe I'm procrastinating because I'm not good enough.
3. Maybe I'm a hobby writer and not a "real" writer.
4. Maybe I just need to focus or set (and keep) office hours.
Those are questions that only I can answer. If you're having any of the same doubts then only you, with God's help, can answer them for you. But I do have a few suggestions to finding the answers. Pray and seek God's will. Tell Him your concerns. He will help you and guide you to the correct answers.
As for me, this is where I currently stand.
1. The fear that my calling to write was over distressed me. I WANT to write. I have story ideas and books in my mind waiting to be written. I don't believe my time as a writer is finished.
2. If God called me then I'm good enough.
3. I am a "real" writer. As long as the devil can make me feel inadequate than I won't be productive.
4. I definitely need to focus and I definitely need office hours. I've tried setting them and not keeping them - doesn't help a bit. I battle staying on track. Discipline is key to my being successful as an author.
As for the question the salesman asked me about writing like Ted Dekker or Frank Peretti . . . I'll probably always say I wish. But you know what - I write like Terri Weldon. God created each of us and we are all unique so no two of us should write alike.
Currently I'm working on a project that I'm excited about. Hopefully I'll have it finished by the end of summer at the latest.
And as far as feeling like a fraud, well I doubt those feelings will go away overnight, but with time, prayer, and words on the page I think they'll diminish.
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:14 (NIV)
How about you, do you ever feel like a fraud? If so leave a comment on how you overcome. I hope everyone's answer is a resounding no. If you don't let me know that as well. I promise, I'll still like you. 😉
Terri Weldon feels blessed to be a full time writer. She enjoys
traveling, gardening, reading, and shopping for shoes. One of her favorite
pastimes is volunteering as the librarian at her church. It allows her to shop
for books and spend someone else’s money! Plus, she has the great joy of
introducing people to Christian fiction. She lives with her family in the
Heartland of the United States. Terri has two adorable Westies – Crosby and
Nolly Grace. Terri is a member of ACFW and RWA.
