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| Vanessa Riley |
With beautiful prose, author Vanessa Riley shares words of
encouragement with us today. Be blessed.
~ Dawn
God
Said No
I sit at my low window and draw the curtains open. Every
handkerchief is tear-stained, and I seek a breeze to dry my face.
But the air is calm and still.
Alas, God has said no again.
The day is bright. The branches of the mighty oak framing my
view revels in the shine and casts shadows upon my wrung hands. I should be
outside with my oils and canvas, capturing the lilies on the pond, the thick
greenery of the lawn. Yet, my artist’s soul is dour. My paints would be onyx or
charcoal. I possess no light today.
With a dry spot on my wrist, I scrub my wet cheek. On my lap
weighs the heavy letters of Your promises. I’ve no strength to open my Bible,
or dump it from my skirts. I’m frozen in regret. What if I said…. What if….
Can any of Your words soothe my restlessness? I know You
have plans for me, but what of mine?
Did You not know how much I craved the affection? It wasn’t
a trifle to me.
Did You not care how I set my heart upon this dream?
Why let my mind to think, my soul to wish, if I am to be
crushed when nothing comes to fruition?
Out on the lawn, a furry squirrel chases a rolling stone, no
an acorn. As he seizes on the nut, it squeezes out of his paws and scatters to
the pond’s edge. Undaunted, the animal makes a dash only to witness his prize
tumble away. The acorn doesn’t float. It sinks, rippling the stagnant waters.
I am one with the varmint.
I turn away from the window. With a deep breath, I declare
myself to be reasonable. I should chase a different nut and accept my lot, for
You know what’s best.
But I am not so easily consoled. I wish to join the squirrel
and reclaim the vision gone away, even in the murky depths.
My mind resounds with bitter memories, those times I forced
my desires. Yet, in the wake of those disappointments, I still want my way now.
I’ll admit to a poor track, missteps, but Abba, isn’t today different?
Oh, let me be Gideon. My fleece, my face, is still sodden
with misery. Therefore, allow me to question Your hand.
Did my pleading for this cause, fall away like Abraham’s for
Sodom? Was my dream truly so bad?
Can you not hear Habakkuk’s anguish in my voice? Have You
forsaken me?
Is it so, Abba? Is it so?
The glazed glass rattles. A soft rush of air billows the
gauzy muslin dressing the casement. Constant and steady this wind, this balm of
Gilead, covers me. Hints of fragrant lilies and peppery heather fill my lungs,
clearing my sniffles. I feel an embrace in my spirit. Thank You for not leaving
me. I welcome this no.
Scratching noises.
A few feet away, my friend, the squirrel, has scampered up
the oak and dances on a thick limb. His cheeks are pregnant, bulging twice the
size of before. He's gathered other acorns. My brethren’s sorrow seems
short-lived.
Chuckles gather in my throat. A glimmer of my joy has
returned. Could it be Sarah’s laugh at impossibility? Yet, it is true. Abba,
will You spin all my ashes to gold? I close my eyes and let the breeze stroke
my countenance, tickle the beading of my collar.
Abba, my Father, my Provider, renew my heart to Your plans,
Your ways. Amen.
________________________________________________
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I hope this helps when God says, “No.” Never doubt His plans
for your life.
Jeremiah 29:11(KJV) For I know the thoughts (plans) that I
think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give
you an expected end.
Tweetables:
Alas, God has said no again. Click to tweet.
I know You have plans for me, but what of mine? Click to tweet.
Abba, my Father, my Provider, renew my heart to Your plans,
Your ways. Amen. Click to tweet.
If all young men leapt off a cliff, Madeline St. James
wouldn’t care. Yet a chance meeting and a bullet wound change everything. She
must trust that the Good Shepherd has led her to marry a dashing stranger, Lord
Devonshire. Can they forge a true bond before the next disaster strikes?
See the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2OnXfFNwps
Even as she pursued engineering degrees, Vanessa Riley's love of 19th century
history yielded a hunger to take as many Western Civilization credits as
possible (two classes shy of a minor). Vanessa adores Regency times with its
conflicts between Church and State, the clash of the classes, and the sweeping
romances. Her mission is to have the world fall in love with powerful Regency
heroes and heroines who battle for peace with a flintlock and a prayer. Vanessa
writes from the comfort of her southern porch with a cup of Earl Grey or Cinnamon
Spice.
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