It's a challenge to include emotions in our stories. We have to be vulnerable. And we not only want to include our characters' emotions, we want to evoke our readers' emotions. Karen Witemeyer has returned with part three of her great series on deep POV. Read on for more great tips!
Deepen
POV by Deepening the Portrayal of Emotion
One of the points we made last week
about deepening POV, was about how important it is avoid the use of head words
like "he thought," "she knew," etc. The same principle can
be applied to portraying emotions.
Do
your best not to name your character's emotions.
I won't lie to you. This is the hardest
part of writing deep POV. An author has to dig deep to evoke emotions instead
of simply naming them. It requires more words, more effort, and more editing.
But the payoff is huge.
If your heroine is afraid, we want the reader's
heart to race. If the hero's been brutally wounded, we want the reader to
wince. If the heroine believes she's lost the man of her dreams, we want a tear
to slide down the reader's cheek.
Just as there are times to tell instead
of show, there will be times to name emotions instead of showing them, but do
this as little as possible. Showing emotions through direct thought, visceral
responses, and active behavior creates a much greater impact on your reader
than simply naming the emotion.
Example:
Stephanie eyed her rival, jealousy burning within
her as the woman's manicured hand stroked Jason's sleeve.
Re-write:
Stephanie eyed her rival, her throat constricting as
she fought to keep her hostess smile from contorting into a snarl. That tramp!
How dare she show up tonight on Jason's arm? And with her talons sunk into his
sleeve like some medieval war bird. Where was a cat when you needed one?
You can feel the jealousy in the
re-write can't you? And isn't your reaction stronger? Don't you relate more
fully to Stephanie's emotions in the second version?
Notice the visceral response: …her throat constricting
The action: …she fought to keep her hostess smile from contorting into a snarl
The direct thought: That tramp! How dare she show up tonight on Jason's arm?
The personality: And with her talons sunk into his sleeve like some medieval war bird.
Where was a cat when you needed one?
Take a look at some of the
emotion-packed scenes in your own manuscripts. Are you naming the emotions
instead of evoking them? Look for ways to deepen your portrayal of emotions in
those scenes and you will end up deepening the POV at the same time.
Next
week: Deepen POV by creating fresh comparisons.
~~~~~
Short-Straw Bride released June 1, 2012.
No one steps on Archer land. Not if they value their life. But when
Meredith Hayes overhears a lethal plot to burn the Archer brothers off
their ranch, a twelve-year-old debt compels her to take the risk. Fourteen years of constant vigilance hardens a man. Yet when Travis Archer confronts a female trespasser with the same vivid blue eyes as the courageous young girl he once aided, he can't bring himself to send her away. And when an act of sacrifice leaves her injured and her reputation in shreds, gratitude and guilt send him riding to her rescue once again.
Four brothers. Four straws. One bride. Despite the fact that Travis is no longer the gallant youth Meredith once dreamed about, she determines to stand by his side against the enemy that threatens them both. But will love ever be hers? Or will Travis always see her merely as a short-straw bride?
~~~~~
Two-time RITA® Finalist and winner of the coveted HOLT Medallion, CBA bestselling author, Karen Witemeyer, writes historical romance fiction for Bethany House, believing that the world needs more happily-ever-afters. She is an avid cross-stitcher, shower singer, and bakes a mean apple cobbler. Karen makes her home in Abilene, TX with her husband and three children. Learn more about Karen and her books at: www.karenwitemeyer.com.
