Dealing With Criticism, Rejection, and Bad Reviews by Lisa Wingate

Lisa Wingate

So … remember that feeling of walking into the high school cafeteria, passing by a table of people you thought were nice and suddenly realizing they’ve been making fun of you – laughing at the satin disco pants (okay am I dating myself there?) you thought were just too cute, or making fun of your hair, your makeup, the poem you wrote in English… the one you thought was a major work of art?

Am I talking to the right crowd here?

Remember how quickly that world-by-the-tail feeling can suddenly morph into the I-want-to-hide-in-the-bathroom-stall-and-cry-for-the-rest-of-the-day feeling?

Dealing with rejection, criticism, and bad reviews as a writer is a little like that. Okay, at least it is for me. I hate it. I hate everything about it. When someone fires a cannonball my way, it invariably blows a hole in my sails, drops a rain cloud in my sunny sky, totally messes up my mojo, and occasionally challenges my faith in the world and in the basic goodness of other people.

It is, however, a part of the business and ultimately a part of life. The person everyone likes hasn’t been born yet, the clothes everyone admires haven’t been worn yet, the book everyone loves hasn’t been written yet. Maybe this is why God starts training us to deal with rejection and criticism waaaay back on the elementary school playground. It’s part of surviving in life and a big part of surviving in the writing business. Building a toolkit of survival skills is critical. Here are a few tips from mine:

The Writer’s Toolkit: Surviving Rejection, Criticism, and Bad Reviews

1. Rant, wallow, or rail as the case calls for. It’s okay to be angry, hurt, resentful, offended, or just perplexed as to why someone would want to be that ugly, heartless, mean…. Open your laptop or notepad and write a scathing response if you want to. Use your word processor to avoid accidentally hitting the send button. DESTROY IMMEDIATELY. Do not share this rant with the world.
2. Pray, pamper yourself, eat chocolate. Ask God to remind you of this moment the next time you’re tempted to shoot the holy lightning of criticism someone else’s way.
3. Search for validity. Recognize that all criticism comes from somewhere. Sometimes, it has everything to do with the other person’s hang-ups, preferences, bad day, bad year, bad experience in the high-school cafeteria. Sometimes the criticism is valid. Try to look at it objectively, especially if you’re seeing the same criticism from multiple individuals (or in the case of trying to sell your writing, from several editors or agents). One person’s opinion is just one person’s opinion… multiple critiques of a similar issue may indicate that it’s time to edit, reassess, reconsider, tweak your work … get rid of the satin disco pants, etc.
4. Talk to a trusted friend or critique partner. Ask for an honest answer, but be willing to accept it without getting offended.
5. DON’T reply to negative reviews on online bookseller sites or blogs. DON'T rant about the experience on Facebook, Twitter, etc. It’s just a bad, bad, bad thing to do. You really don’t want one unpleasant moment to haunt you forever no matter how offended or hurt you are at the time.
6. Do answer letters or email complaints. Keep the tone positive. Don’t argue your point. Be as kind as you can. If there’s an explanation, give it. If not, thank the person for caring enough to send input. Express regret that they were not happy with ABC (whatever), move on without being drawn into the argument. Remember that every person out there is looking at life through the glass of his or her own experiences. Life from that viewpoint may look much different than it does from yours. If you’re dealing with editor/agent rejection, remember that this holds true for editors and agents, too. They are people, just like the rest of us. They have their own likes and dislikes based on who they are, where they’re finding success in the market right now, whether their lists are fairly full at the moment, and maybe even just what kind of week they’re having.
7. Put on your Super Suit. How do super heroes survive when speeding bullets come their way? Why, the Super Suit, of course. Keep yours right there under your writer clothes (or your satin disco pants, as the case may be). Those speeding bullets may knock you down, but don’t let them penetrate too deep. Have faith in your calling and in yourself. For a little extra satisfaction, put that nasty person in your next book and add a case of botulism ... or something worse.(Disclaimer: All of my works are purely fictional, and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is completely *ahem* accidental. Honest.)

Above all, don’t go hide in the bathroom stall. You’ll starve to death in there, and there’s really not enough room for all your imaginary friends. If God has filled your head with stories and populated your mind with people who don’t exist, then you’re a writer. Trust it. Believe in it. Keep getting up and moving toward your goal.

Turn your face to the bright side and let the shadows fall behind you.

And… stop by the rest of the week and see what the Belles have to share.

In the meantime, I wish you and your imaginary friends a fantastic week!

Lisa

Lisa Wingate is a magazine columnist, inspirational speaker, and the author of eighteen mainstream fiction novels, including the national bestseller, Tending Roses, now in its nineteenth printing. She is a seven-time ACFW Carol award nominee, a Christy Award nominee, and a two-time Carol Award winner. She has found success in both the Christian and general fiction markets, writing mainstream fiction for Penguin Putnam and Bethany House. Recently, the group Americans for More Civility, a kindness watchdog organization, selected Lisa along with Bill Ford, Camille Cosby, and six others, as recipients of the National Civies Award, which celebrates public figures who work to promote greater kindness and civility in American life. More information about Lisa’s novels can be found at www.lisawingate.com.

Firefly Island

Firefly Island

At thirty-four, congressional staffer Mallory Hale is about to embark on an adventure completely off the map. After a whirlwind romance, she is hopelessly in love with two men--fortunately, they're related. Daniel Everson and his little boy, Nick, are a package deal, and Mallory suddenly can't imagine her future without them.

Mallory couldn't be more shocked when Daniel asks her to marry him, move to Texas, and form a family with him and motherless Nick. The idea is both thrilling and terrifying.

Mallory takes a leap of faith and begins a sweet, mishap-filled journey into ranch living, Moses Lake society, and a marriage that at times reminds her of the mail-order-bride stories. But despite the wild adventure of her new life, she discovers secrets and questions beneath her rosy new life. Can she find answers on Firefly Island, a little chunk of property just off the lakeshore, where mysterious lights glisten at night?
Fiction That's Good for the Soul
www.lisawingate.com
Blogging at www.SouthernBelleView.com Join us on the porch!
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From Seed to Sprout, Part 1 by Sharlene MacLaren

Happy Monday, writers! Annette here. Today we welcome Sharlene MacLaren as she begins a four-week series on following through on the calling of God, which she likens to a seed that we need to nurture. We hope these words encourage on your writer's journey. Read on!

From Seed to Sprout, Part 1*

by Sharlene MacLaren

On September 25 I had the wonderful privilege of teaching a couple of workshops on the writing craft at the 35th annual Maranatha Christian Writers' Conference on the beautiful shores of Lake Michigan. I'd like to share the information I taught and will break it up into segments. The first class is titled "From Seed to Sprout" and takes us on the writer's journey from the very beginning stages when God first plants that tiny seed of desire in your heart for writing to the final stages where one feels ready to publish. Ready to go on the journey with me? This class was broken down into twelve main points, so I'll share the articles in four stages, sharing three points per session.

And away we go!

1. EVERY LIVING THING MUST HAVE ITS BEGINNING!
My love for writing began with a seed of passion. I don’t know exactly why God chose to plant that seed deep within the pit of my soul, but He did. In fact, He planted it at a very early age, but it didn’t truly begin to grow until I began to nurture, feed, and care for it. God did the planting, but I had to see to its care. It’s that way with any sort of gift God gives. It begins as a tiny seed, and we can either choose to ignore it, allowing it to waste away, or recognize it for what it is—a gift.

I recognized my gift in high school around 11th grade and began writing silly teenage romances, but after filling three or four spiral notebooks with stories, the school year came to a close, and my love for writing waned as fun-filled summer activities took its place. I then entered my senior year of high school, then college life, followed by a teaching job, and shortly thereafter, marriage, family, and church activities. On top of that, I had a great love for vocal music, another seed of passion God had planted in my soul from birth. Thus, God, family, teaching, music, and a myriad of other things completely washed away all time for sitting down to pen a story of any kind, although I loved reading it!

2. WRITING REQUIRES PASSION.
I always knew I had a gift for writing. While in college if the professor announced at the beginning of the 10-week class period that we would be required to write a term paper I sighed with relief. This I could do. Or, given a choice of finishing out any given class with a multiple choice test of, say, 100 questions or writing a fifteen-page research paper, guess what I chose. I knew I could write my way to an “A” or “B” overall grade. Why was that? Because God had given me something others lacked, and that was a deep passion for words.

Yes, I had been given a passion, but I wasn’t much into feeding it yet. Far too many other things took precedence over cultivating my passion. So, I let it simmer on a back burner, mostly ignoring it and delving into other interests that also captured my heart, like falling in love, getting married, buying our first home, raising children, involving myself in church activities like choir and worship team, weekly Bible studies, teaching Sunday school, working in public education, planning family vacations, carting our children to and from school activities, and the endless list goes on. I had a passion for writing, don’t get me wrong, but like anything, if you fail to feed it, care for it, nurture it, it will just sit there and tarnish like an old piece of silver.

3. EMBRACE YOUR PASSION!
I didn’t truly recognize my writing passion as a gift from God and something that needed nurturing till I drew near to retirement from teaching. Yes, I had already lived out 50+ years of life before I began to see that God didn’t want me thinking that retirement from one career meant putting my feet up on a stool and lounging away the rest of my days. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Simply put, God ALWAYS has a job for us to do. He didn’t put us on this earth without a map so that we could wander aimlessly, never knowing our purpose. I love what The Message says about this in Proverbs 16: 1-3 “Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. Put God in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place.”

So, embrace your passion! Watch what God does with it when you fully surrender that passion to Him.

Stay tuned for the next installment next Monday!

*These articles originally appeared on Sharlene’s blog in October, 2012. Used by permission. 


Born and raised in west Michigan, Sharlene MacLaren attended Spring Arbor University. She traveled married one of her childhood friends and together they raised two lovely daughters. Now happily retired after teaching elementary school for 31 years, "Shar" enjoys reading, writing, singing in the church choir and worship teams, traveling, and spending time with her husband, children, and precious grandson. Shar is a regular speaker for her local MOPS organization, is involved in KIDS' HOPE USA, a mentoring program for at–risk children, counsels young women in the Apples of Gold program, and is active in two weekly Bible studies. She and her husband, Cecil, live in Spring Lake, Michigan with their lovable collie, Dakota, and Mocha, their lazy fat cat. 

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Doing It for the One by Nancy Mehl

Nancy Mehl

The following article arrived in my e-mail box on a morning when I sat polishing my manuscript before sending it to an agent, hoping and praying that she would love it. I’d poured not only many hours, but also myself, into the story. Sometimes, we can get so wrapped up in all that's involved and expected in the publishing industry, we can lose sight of what's really important. Today, author Nancy Mehl reminds us where we need to keep our focus as writers. I found her words inspiring, and I think you will too. 
~ Dawn

Doing It for the One

by Nancy Mehl

Usually writers start out with a clear direction. We know what we want to write, and we know what kind of readers we want to reach. Unfortunately, once we sell a book, things can change. Suddenly we’re faced with editors who have their own ideas and reviewers whose words can sometimes shake our confidence. Many authors wind up confused, no longer knowing why they’re writing or who they’re writing for.

My advice is two-fold. First of all, put each book in God’s hands and dedicate it to Him. I’ve found that if you do this, and mean it, you’ll get ideas and inspiration that can only come from Him.

Secondly, make your audience small. I mean, really small. Reduce it down to one person.

I once had a friend who ran a mission for homeless men. So many of his clients seemed doomed to failure, and there didn’t appear to be many success stories that resulted from his endeavors. One day, during a conversation, I asked him, “Out of one hundred men, how many have you actually helped? How many lives have actually changed for the better?”

He thought seriously for a moment. Then he answered, “Maybe one.”

I was flabbergasted. “How do you do this every day? What keeps you from giving up?”

He smiled and said, “I do it for the one.”

Writing is a gift. For many Christian writers, it becomes something more. It becomes a ministry. But how do we effectively reach out through our books and touch people for Him? We know that if we try to stuff our stories with too many spiritual insights, we can actually end up diluting the message we want to convey. Readers will call our work “too preachy.”

After remembering my friend’s inspirational statement, I made a change. Now, I “do it for the one.” In other words, before I start a novel, I ask God to show me the person he wants to reach. Is it someone who didn’t have a father growing up and has a hard time trusting Father God? Or is it someone being abused, who needs to know there is a way out? Who is the person God wants to touch through this book? Doing this helps me to keep my focus and makes my main theme much clearer.

For me, “doing it for the one,” is the way I can use my writing to really “do it for the One.”

Click to reach Amazon.

Nancy Mehl lives in Wichita, Kansas, with her husband Norman and her very active puggle, Watson. She’s authored fourteen books and is currently at work on a new series for Bethany House Publishing. The first book in her Road to Kingdom series, “Inescapable,” came out in July of 2012. The second book, “Unbreakable”released in February of 2013.

To learn more about Nancy and her books, please visit:

Website: www.nancymehl.com

Blog: www.suspensesisters.blogspot.com

A New Hostess for Seriously Write

We're excited here at Seriously Write to introduce a new hostess to the team! Our dear hostess and friend, Ocieanna Fleiss, is moving on to new writing opportunities and we're welcoming author Sandra Ardoin to take over Wednesdays. She's been writing for publication since the mid-1980s. 


Sandy enjoys reading, gardening, sports, and country music. Her day will focus on sharing the wisdom of other writers. We all can learn from their experiences when it comes to such topics as research, marketing, creativity, and the organizational side of the business.

To learn more, see the added page here on Seriously Write and visit her blog, or see her article here. Watch for Sandy's first post on Wednesday, February 6th.

Welcome aboard, Sandy!!