The pleasure bounces from the top of my head to my toes and back again.
Pleasure isn't a sin. But what happens next is where it all goes wrong, and I think:
Maybe I am a good writer. No, they said great writer. I’m amazing! The best!Pleasure isn't a sin. But what happens next is where it all goes wrong, and I think:
Chest puffed out, chin high, I turn to my computer to write—and fail miserably.
Where did I self-destruct? In frustration, I turn to God. What did I do wrong?
But I know. God has told me before. He’s explained there's a fine line between pleasure and pride—the joy of a job well done that twists into I’m amazing. And at that point He can’t use me anymore. Because what once pointed fans to Christ, now becomes the Peter Leavell show.
So I pray:
Lord, my pride has done me in again. I’m sorry, I thought better of myself than I am, and now I’m dealing with the heartache of being less than I thought myself. Let me give all good things back to you.
Oh, the joy and pleasure of repentance! Oh, the sweet closeness between God and I, and now I can write the blessed words He gives me!
You know, that was a really good prayer of repentance. I’m really good at repenting. I’m amazing at repenting! The best!
And…fail.
But I know. God has told me before. He’s explained there's a fine line between pleasure and pride—the joy of a job well done that twists into I’m amazing. And at that point He can’t use me anymore. Because what once pointed fans to Christ, now becomes the Peter Leavell show.
So I pray:
Lord, my pride has done me in again. I’m sorry, I thought better of myself than I am, and now I’m dealing with the heartache of being less than I thought myself. Let me give all good things back to you.
Oh, the joy and pleasure of repentance! Oh, the sweet closeness between God and I, and now I can write the blessed words He gives me!
You know, that was a really good prayer of repentance. I’m really good at repenting. I’m amazing at repenting! The best!
And…fail.
Thank you to my brother Chris for sharing with me his meditations on pride. Follow my brother's progress as he battles stage IV cancer here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/christopherleavell
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Peter Leavell is an award winning historical fiction author. He and his family research together, creating magnificent adventures. Catch up with him on his website at www.peterleavell.com, or friend him on Facebook:
Peter R. Leavell.
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