Happy Wednesday, my writing friends,
Does it seem impossible? I tried it, and it really gave life
to otherwise slow, bland scenes.
I first found this concept on Camy Tang’s blog, StorySinsei. I’ll read you her example.
Before tension is added:
Wow, she was
having lunch with Dr. Devon Knightley. How cool!“Are you sure this restaurant is okay with you?”
“Yes, of course.”
After tension is added:
Lunch had so
not been a good idea.
Aside from the fact Naomi couldn’t scrub
Jessica’s waxen face from the backs of her eyelids, Aunt Becca had embarrassed her worse than when she’d crashed Naomi’s eight-grade
sleepover.
“Are you sure this restaurant is okay with you?” Devon
peered at her over the top of his menu with wary
eyes.
“Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
I’m sure you can see the huge difference.
I’m sure you can see the huge difference.
So how do we do this? I go through my manuscript, paragraph
by paragraph, hunting down blah-ness and asking, “How can I inject more
tension?”
Here are some suggestions of elements to add:
Offensiveness, embarrassment, confusion, misunderstanding, mispronounces or forgets a
name, interruptions, sarcasm, cynicism, self deprecation, guilt, fear,
ambition. Your character does something odd, can’t finish a simple goal, can’t finish
a sentence, has a snarky, rude, or too sweet, tone of voice, is disappointed, can’t
stop obsessing about something in her past …
Try it! Then share how it went. I’d love to hear.
God bless and happy writing,
Ocieanna