Ocieanna here. It’s my turn for This and That Thursday, and I want to stick to the topic of prayer I began last month. I know this writer needs it!
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”
― C.S. Lewis
I love this quote! I don’t know if CS Lewis was referring to his writing life when he said it, but it sure applies to my authoring journey.
There are times when I’m too exhausted to write. Perhaps life with four kids overwhelms me—it happens. Other times I’m just physically exhausted, needing to rest when I’d rather be writing. Those of you with physical ailments can relate to the frustration of wanting to sit at the computer and gush heart-truths onto paper, but having to restore strength to a weak body instead. Sometimes I’m mentally wiped out. I homeschool, and at times my brain is so full of thoughts about curriculum, a certain child’s need to improve in a subject, how to fulfill the requirement for sports or music, and more, I just can’t produce a creative thought.
Yet, I’ve made commitments to write. I have a column, this blog, a deadline for a novel, speaking engagements. Whether I have the energy or not, I need to fulfill those commitments.
You know what? As difficult as those moments when I don’t feel like I can write another word are, I’m grateful for them. When my need for God grows desperate and I realize I have zero ability to bless others with my words on my own, that’s when I most remember where my hope comes from…and I pray.
Like CS Lewis. I pray because I’m helpless.
When I was writing my first book, Love Finds You in Lonesome Prairie, Montana, I had a short deadline and a raging migraine. I envisioned myself trudging over rocky cliffs in a thick fog, trusting God to show me each next spot to place my foot. Oh how I prayed! And He answered. I made it through without plunging to my death—the book was completed on time! Since I was in a helpless place, I have no doubt it was because of God’s grace alone.
When our strength is gone, God becomes our strength.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
(Psalm 73:26 ESV)