|Zoe M. McCarthy|
At the time, I wished I hadn’t known what had been said about me behind closed doors in the company of three people. One person, I’ll call Power, disparaged my abilities to Lesser Power. The third, Peer, came to me and told me what had been said.
I carried a bowling ball around in my stomach for the rest of the day. I had no one to run to for comfort. My rock, my husband, was out of town on business, a rare occurrence back then.
That evening, I struggled to hide my misery around my sons. I suddenly understood how people with depression felt. I was in a deep, deep hole, and there was no way to climb the slippery walls out. I knew people dealt with this awful feeling 365 days a year. How did they survive?
I went through a gamut of thoughts and feelings during the sleepless night:
- How cruel Power and Lesser Power were to gossip about me.
- Was I really that incompetent?
- How unkind it was for Peer to warn me about the hurtful words said. If I didn’t know them, I’d not be suffering.
- Why did this happen on the one day and night John was away?
For a while, I was nervous around Power and knocked heads over business issues with Lesser Power. They were not my favorite people.
With hindsight, I can see how God was orchestrating amazing things in my spirit.
First, I became a Christian. God showed me how to give grace to those who had belittled my worth.
After Power moved on to another job, her son died. At the funeral, with genuine sorrow in my heart, I was able to hug her and tell her I was praying for her.
When Lesser Power was in the process of quitting smoking, I sent her a card with a whale bursting from ocean waters. She came to me with tears in her eyes, thanking me for my encouragement. After she stayed home to be with her husband, who had a rare terminal disease, and then suffered a terminal disease herself, I prayed daily for her and sent her letters and cards.
And as far as my competence? I became a manager, and when I retired, the director whom my area supported entreated me to come back as a consultant.
That’s not the end of the story.
Years later, I was blindsided by an email with disturbing news. The Sender asked me to be involved, but in The Sender’s way, not the Lord’s. This time, I dropped to my knees. Only God’s comfort kept me going for months. He helped me to keep responding to The Sender in love and forgiveness until God answered my prayers and orchestrated a good outcome.
Over the years, I had learned powerful lessons. When I heard the critical words during John’s absence, I needed to learn to seek God, not my husband. A human rock might not always be beside me like God is. And he may not give the best advice. I also learned that ongoing forgiveness gives me peace.
How have you had to depend on God’s grace?
A story of God’s grace during adversity. Click to tweet.
|About the Author|
Zoe M. McCarthy believes the little known fact that opposites distract. Thus, she spins Christian contemporary romances entangling extreme opposites. Her tagline is: Distraction to Attraction, Magnetic Romances Between Opposites. Christian Fiction Online Magazine published two of her short stories. Zoe self-published two books of contemporary Christian short stories. She’s a member of American Christian Fiction Writers. She enjoys leading workshops on the craft of writing; speaking about her faith; planning fun events for her 5 grandchildren; and exploring the Blue Ridge Mountains, where she lives with her husband, John.
Learn more about Zoe M. McCarthy at her website: http://zoemmccarthy.com
What happens when an analytical numbers man meets a mercurial marketing Rep? Romance is a calculated risk…
Jilted by the latest of her father’s choices of “real men,” Cisney Baldwin rashly accepts an invitation to spend Thanksgiving weekend with a sympathetic colleague and his family. Nick LeCrone is a man too much her opposite to interest her and too mild-mannered to make her overbearing father’s “list.” Now, Cisney fears Nick wants to take advantage of her vulnerable state over the holiday. Boy, is she wrong.
Nick wants little to do with Cisney. She drives him crazy with all her sticky notes and quirks. He extended an invitation because he felt sorry for her. Now he’s stuck, and to make matters worse, his family thinks she’s his perfect match. He’ll do what he can to keep his distance, but there’s just one problem—he’s starting to believe Cisney’s magnetism is stronger than he can resist.
Purchase links for Calculated Risk: http://zoemmccarthy.com/books
*Image by Baruska