Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Art of Over Committing by Terri Weldon

Terri Weldon
Throughout the years I’ve tried my hand at a number of things, some I mastered, and many I didn’t. But there is one thing I’ve learned to excel at – over committing. Hmm, I don’t think I’m hearing anyone cheering. Don’t feel bad, it doesn’t make me happy either. In fact, it’s been known to cause me a great deal of stress, something none of us needs added to our lives.

So why do I do it? Well, all the things I committed to were worthwhile, even fun. And doesn’t Proverbs 6:9 say, “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?” Yep, it does. The problem with me quoting that verse is I was guilty of finding a Bible verse to justify my actions. Not smart.

To live a healthy, well balanced life we have to make choices. My day job is a necessity, so I have to allocate a huge chunk of my time to the job. That means I can’t commit to so many evening activities that I can’t function at work or I end up sick from lack of rest.

Writing is dear to my heart. If I’m going to commit to being an author then I have to choose other activities to give up. That’s a real problem for me. I want it all. Do I sound like a two-year-old? Trust me, I’ve acted like one from time to time.

Recently, I’ve come to the realization that I have to prioritize. Pick out the things that are nearest to my heart, the things God wants me to do, and start letting the rest go. Yeah, it is hard. If you were to ask the people closest to me how I’m doing at not over committing, well, they’d probably laugh.

I feel like I’m doing better. At least now I realize it is a problem. With that realization also came an awareness that by committing to so many “good” things, I never spend time on the things I love the most. That was an eye opener. So let me leave you with a different verse, Proverbs 16:9, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.” Spend your time wisely, my friends.

If you have tips for keeping balance in your life I hope you’ll leave a comment and share your wisdom with me. Trust me, I can use all the help I can get!

****

Mistletoe Magic ~ buy link
Misty Winslow is determined to find her prince, and she meets the man of her dreams through an Internet dating service. Or is he, because the new dentist in town also sets her heart aflutter.

It's love at first sight for Tyler Davenport, but before he can finish his first root canal, Misty is involved in an exclusive online romance with Wes99—Tyler’s online persona. How can he tell her he’s the man she’s been waiting to meet, and how rational is it for him to be jealous of Wes99! Soon Tyler's pulling out all the stops to woo Misty.

As Christmas approaches, Wes99 and Tyler both ask her to meet them under the mistletoe. Which man will she choose?

Terri is a lead analyst by day and an author by night. She enjoys gardening, reading, and playing in the hand bell choir. One of her favorite pastimes is volunteering as the librarian at her church. It allows her to shop for books and spend someone else’s money! Plus, she has the great joy of introducing people to Christian fiction.

She lives with her family in Oklahoma. Terri has three dogs – a lovable mutt and two adorable Westies.

Terri is a member of ACFW and OCFW, a local chapter of ACFW. Her dream of becoming a published novelist came true in November 2013 when Mistletoe Magic, released from White Rose Publishing. To learn more about Terri visit her website at www.TerriWeldon.com.

15 comments:

  1. I've become good at saying no. Still, there are times when all I want to do is pull the covers over my head! Wish I had some tips to share. :(

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    1. Sandy, I wish I was good at saying no. I am getting better, but I have a long way to go.

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  2. This is often a perpetual problem, isn't it! Saying no gracefully is a skill that is hard to learn. But no one can do it all! I really struggled with this until Epstein-Barr (mono) took me out two years ago, and my health has not recovered. Before I got sick I was way too overcommitted! The last two years have taught me so much! Now I keep foremost in my mind my health and family considerations and the fact that writing is a high priority for using the gifts God has given. This is how I serve him. Requests sound good and even godly. But the real question is what would the Lord have me to do?

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    1. Melinda, sorry about your health issue. It sounds like you have a clear and important set of priorities now. It is ironic, but part of what finally got through to me was I kept getting sick.

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  3. Good thoughts, Terri. I find that if I schedule what's most important to me--in my case, that's writing time--it helps me not to overcommit. I look at my calendar and realize I can't attend this or that, because I have to write that day. Yes, I have to write every day. But having it on the calendar or at least penciled in in my mind helps.

    That doesn't serve me when it comes to evening activities. There are just so many fun things to do!

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    1. Great idea about the calendar. Since my writing time is nights and weekends, I def need to adopt your calendar idea.

      Of course, lunch with writing buddies has to fit on the calendar as well. :-)

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  4. Oh, saying "No" or "I can't this time" is very difficult. But we must use our time wisely and keep our priorities in order, as we try to do God's will in our lives. We can't do it all but we can ask for His guidance. :)
    Great post, Terri!

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    1. Thanks, Janet. I believe if it's God's will, he will help us make it all work out.

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  5. Good article - and so true. I'm much better at saying no than I used to be and much better at deciding what's important to me. I need to work at doing what God wants me to do! Plus learning to handle it when people get annoyed or angry when I say no. Thanks for the encouragement.

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    1. I admire you for being able to say no! Isn't it annoying when people get upset? Whoops, maybe I shouldn't say that!

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  6. Sadly, I'm very bad about stuffing my calendar until it explodes...or I do. (Hubby's partly to blame, too! :) ) I get so overwhelmed, and all those activities that sounded so cool are no longer fun. That's when I cut everything out except the bare essentials. But you know what? It's a vicious cycle and tends to start all over again. Must. Get. Better. At. Saying. No.
    Thanks for sharing your heart, Terri.

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    1. Dora, my problem is that I think everything sounds fun. But as you said, when we are overbooked it ceased to be enjoyable.

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  7. Hi Terri, i hear you loud and clear. Sadly, one of the commitments I felt was overwhelming me was blogging...and that included my monthly contribution here at Seriously Write. Sob. I so miss it here. This is also a time in my life to kind of restructure the rest of my time on the computer...I think I'm in a bit of a stalemate in terms of writing. Should I or shouldn't I? I read one of those inspirational goodies yesterday on Facebook how...when God closes a door, quit knocking so hard! So maybe He's telling me something, or opening another window somewhere. I don't know...patience and waiting are not my strong suits so I may be in for a longer haul that I wish LOL. God bless you, my friend!

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    1. Oh, this is a tough one because I want you to keep writing. What I want more is for you to do what God wants. I do know this, keep praying and He will show you His will.

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  8. Sorry to be so slow answering today. That pesky day job kept me busy.

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